When I was about entering secondary school, my mum sat me down to give me a piece of her mind. One thing she said that I won't forget was ”Don't let a boy touch you or else it is pregnancy straight”. That single sentence drove home a phobia in me that I never knew existed.
The African society and setting is not as liberal as the Western world and so issues like a girl getting pregnant before wedlock can carry a great stigma on both the girl and her family and as such, many families don't hesitate to cut off all ties with any unfilial daughter. This made many girls to become weary of falling pregnant before marriage,some abort the pregnancies and those who wish to keep the baby make sure that the boy's family come to do the needful, that is marriage rites.
If I were to be the parent of a female child (of which I am in reality) and that child happens to fall pregnant while awaiting admission into a tertiary institution, hmm, that blow would hit me hard. There's no softer way to say it than this. I would be hurt immensely and disappointed as I would feel like all my years of upbringing and child rearing has gone down the drain. Nevertheless, this proverb rings a loud truth. It states…
”You don't throw the baby out with the dirty bath water”
As a mother who wants the very best for her daughter, such news will call ffor some scolding and lecturing on the child but one thing I would not do is to act ”Africanish”. Pardon my expression but that's how I feel. I won't cut ties with my daughter nor would I banish her away because doing so might cause her to go farther down the wrong path.
What's done is done, all that is left is to be strong and pick up the pieces to forge ahead. After some few scoldings, I would then dialogue with her so as to find out who the ignoramus boy that put her in the family way is. Once that is revealed, I would then make arrangements to contact the boy's family and also bring them on board with the latest development.
As for my daughter's education, it will run as planned. If she gets the admission, then good she would go to school as usual and come back to give birth (that's if the school is in another city) but if she doesn't get the admission, then I would enrol her in a skill acquisition venture while she prepares to take another examination the coming year. I would do my best to support her mentally and emotionally because I know that she also might be feeling guilty and low. Even the stress of pregnancy is enough to break her rebellious heart, hence I won't guilt trip her about her mistakes.
What if the boy and his family come for marriage?
Good question but I won't agree because I believe that both of them have not yet had a feel of options to chose from and they have the right to choose whom they would spend the rest of their lives with. I would rather counsel both of them to further and complete their education as friends and when they graduate and still feel in love, then the marriage can take place.
I would allow the boy's family to partake in child support and welfare, irrespective of marriage or no marriage but I would be the one the baby will stay with once he or she is born. At least this will allow my daughter to focus on her studies without the additional stress of caring for an infant.
Thank you all for reading. This is my entry to the hivenaija prompt #71.
Images imagined with Ai
Posted Using InLeo Alpha
This is so brilliant, so many women are suffering in the house of a man they call husband because there parents forced them to get married to each other. I don't support the idea of forcing a girl on a guy because he impregnated her, instead it should be the decision of them both if they want to leave as man and wife.
Yes o, forcing young people to get married is not wise o just because pregnancy occurred. I will not allow my daughter to suffer in the hand soft any man just because she made a mistake.
I have seen and heard of girls who made similar mistakes but the parents support and care motivated them to become ten times better and they are now the bread winners of their family, the mistake forgotten. Some are already legally married to good men who accepted them and the kid
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