Financial security or endless love… Hmm, when I saw the prompt on today's #septemberinleo, I had a good laugh but then when I wanted to start writing on it, guess who's not laughing anymore?
That's right, me. I quickly took a trip down memory lane and then started questioning myself because I am an overthinker, and every so often I overthink things. What if it's endless love without financial security and then it's financial security without endless love? Which will I choose? It's not an easy choice anymore, right? Ok, let's keep going….
There was a time I posted a word picture on my WhatsApp status. The words were written, a man who shows you love, care and gives you attention, but he's broke vs. a man who barely has your time but gives you money.
I had plenty of women picking the latter, some were even screaming who love help. It was now as if I am the softie.
I do not know these women's story, but I knew they were responding from a place of hurt and betrayal of which My former BFF proved me right with her response. Let us call her Susan.
Susan said she'll pick money over love. She went further to ask, who love help? I was shocked because she used to believe so much in love until her last relationship crashed.
It even hurt her more because she invested heavily in the relationship, even going as far as to paying One hundred thousand Naira for the man's car repair. She was literally responsible for the man financially more than the man was for her.
When they were still together, I remembered her saying to me one evening, "Ese, this is my last relationship and it must lead to marriage." Quite unfortunate for her she got dumped, and her ex cited that she's a Northern, and he's Yoruba. According to him, his family would not approve.
I understood my friend's plight and told her that the man we pick, depends on what is more important to us at every time of our lives. Again, the living conditions we find ourselves in is a major determinant in choosing a partner.
Personally, I am heavy on respect. No matter how wealthy a man is, once he starts disrespecting me, I am ending the relationship.
I remember breaking up with my ex because he refused to wish me a happy birthday, instead he was being narcissistic and told me that he collapsed at work. Later on, he admitted it him collapsing at work was only a lie to see my reaction.
This same Ex will purposely ignore me, no calls, no text and when I complained, he will tell me he loves being chased.
At a point, I got really frustrated and ended things. There was financial security, but I did not have peace of mind or was it when he lied to me, he has Leukemia? He's always putting me in panic mode, and that birthday of mine was the last straw that broke the Carmel's back.
Few days to my birthday, he sent me some money, a massive sum but that can never replace him celebrating me and making me feel loved on my special day.
After the break up, I told my then BFF about it and she shouted, eh? How can you break up with a man who gives you so much money?
I smiled and told her that as much as I love money and want my man to spoil me with it, I cannot sacrifice my happiness in the altar of wealth.
Few days ago I was telling my best girl that love is not hurt and definitely love is not pain. Quite unfortunate that is how love is perceived by most people. I went further to tell her, who loves you will not condition you, they will not disrespect you and definitely they will not tension you.
In all, will I pick love over financial security? Absolutely not.
You know, there's a saying that when poverty comes through the door, love will fly out the window.
Davido sang, love is sweet but when there is money, love is sweeter.
Love alone will not put food on our table, love will also not pay the bills. Thus, it is on these grounds that I am going with a touch of both love and financial security.
Above is my response to the inleo prompt for September, you can participate HERE
Image is mine
Posted Using InLeo Alpha
thank you 🙂
I understand your friend's bitterness, she put her heart and money in that relationship and he took advantage of her.
As for your relationship, that man has serious problems, I do not think that if the relationship had continued and formalized you would have had a normal and healthy relationship, so I support your decision, I believe that money is needed and with the effort of a couple truly committed to making things work things can be achieved and love will not be lacking.
Well said Ma'am. It takes two to make a relationship work. Thank you for reading me.
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STOPThank you Buzzy 🤝🏾
You've got this @bipolar95! Keep putting in the effort and you'll reach your target in no time.
Yeah real inner love matters a lot, without genuine love in a relationship money is worthless
Very worthless I tell you. Thank you for stopping by 🙂
Eiii...loves being chased as how?? Where did all these princesses in form of men come from? Lol.
And that your friend dodged a bullet, I tell you. Because shea he did not remember that his parents wouldn't approve of Northerners when he was collecting her money. Sighs
Thank God as you are also seeing it... Feminine men, flower men princesses 😂.
Omo! Her story was a tragic one and it changed her negatively as she became me and hostile to everyone including me. That's how me sef ended the friendship.
You want to exasperate me with your beauty?😑
I don’t know why you’re not preaching the gospel. Love can pay a lot of bills😑
Awwww I'm blushing, thank you baby 😊.
You see that Oraimo cord, it will enter your back don't worry. You need factory reset 😒.
😂
You really need a touch of both, for a man being in a relationship without money is too much pressure while for the woman is too much suffering. Having financial security while love leads it's the true definition of davido's lyrics "love is sweet oooo but when money enter love is sweeter"
Gbam! Your last line cannot be stressed enough. Thanks for stopping by.
Wait o...what happened to the men in the middle, the ones that will love you and give you money? Did they vanish? Lmao. I mean, we're laughing now, but damn, not feeling happy in a relationship is a hard life to live. If there's no money, well, does the guy have a vision and is he hardworking? That's another question, you know.
Those ones in the middle dey like dem dun marry all of them o 😭. Because all these sons of Baal are roaming the place 😢. Sha God will not shame us.
One thing I have come to realize about a man inlove is that, he will always want to be a provider in his little capacity and not dump responsibilities on his woman.
Provided he's industrious and has prospects, why not? But then, women should be able to differentiate a man that genuinely loves them from those who are with them because of life's condition.
Sons of Baal. Lmao
Yes, actually, very true. Wise words.
Love can be a tricky thing, but some people are doing it well somehow
😂🤣😂... Yeah, some men and women got it right and really going on well for them 🥂
You have certainly given love and money some serious thought with this post. I do admire your candour actually. And do you know what money and wealth is very important, even when it comes to the success of relationships.
I still like to think that the personality and the person always wins out when it comes to attraction and relationships, and that money is secondary. But do you know what? Perhaps I have got that wrong, who knows!
Great post.
You know one thing with life is perspective, I really do not see money as secondary because we basically need money to survive.
Again, money brings out the true character of an individual. Countless times I have seen people humble when broke but become very repulsive the moment they are made.
A person's personality can also be influenced by money. We have a saying here that a lot is hidden under poverty.
Regardless, money should always go hand in hand with love and respect.
Thank you for reading me 🙂