Truth be told, it's not easy to take that from a child. I have seen so many parents who ended up sending such a child away just because got pregnant when she was supposed to be serious with her studies. Her parents have wasted a lot on her and even bought her so many textbooks just for her life to be better in the future. Most parents would say ‘I have invested a lot in you just for your life to be better in the future and now bringing pregnancy home?’
It's not easy to take, but as a parent, I must not let her go but take it upon myself to take good care of her. One of my students got pregnant after her secondary school education in the former place I taught. Her dad happened to be a pastor in a reputable church. This girl was living like a saint. I mean an SU. She was so dedicated when it came to the aspect of holiness. All the teachers have known her to be a good girl. She does not take rubbish talk from her mates. Even her quietness in the class can show the kind of person she was. Even her parents had full trust in her.
Whenever I give an example of being well-behaved, I always use her as one just because of her holiness. She was just too reserved and so neat. She was the type who could not talk too much. So, after secondary school, she took the JAMB (Joint Admission and Matriculation Board) examination. She scored a very high mark and was given admission into the university. This was just a few months after her secondary school. She fell sick and was taken to the hospital for treatment. Her sickness became intense to the extent that they had to carry out a test. When the test result came out, it was discovered that she was two months pregnant. The news got to her parents where they were left dumbfounded. They were shocked and short of words to describe their once-trusted daughter. “How did it happen? Where and why?” These were the questions left in their head. “But she had always been at home. It is either home or school. Then, how did it happen?” the parents kept racking their brains just to get the answer, but then the answer was with their daughter. They would have seated her down and asked her some questions like; “do you know you are pregnant? Who got you pregnant and how were you managing to leave the house without our knowledge?” all these were the questions that would keep rolling in the minds of the parents.
After a while, I did not see the girl. I later forgot about her, not until one day when I traveled to one of these universities in Nigeria, I saw her. I did not hesitate to ask her what she was doing at that university. Her response showed that her parents were nice and their reactions surprised me the most. She said they later allowed her to go for her course after nursing the child for one year.
To cut the story short, she has served and worked in a reputable company. When she gained admission to the university, her parents had to take full responsibility for the child. That child is presently in primary 4 (year 4).
Two questions ran into my mind “If that girl were abandoned when she was pregnant, would she attain what she has attained today? And would she become someone to reckon with in her family today?
Secondly, most children would commit suicide just because of the shame and abandonment, but this parent would have considered this aspect of life before making the decision.
In my opinion, I would do as that parent had done. I would talk sense to my daughter and make her understand the reason for making such a decision. Accepting her deed would make her feel at home but not inferior. So many parents would say “They don’t care and would even send their daughters away from the house. This can bring shame to the family and the child.
I would ensure to place her education on hold until the child grows to about two years before sending her back to university to study her choice of course. she would be doing intensive lessons while at home just so her brain not go blank. If I send her away, her dream of becoming who she wants to become would be shattered. To grow such a dream, I would take good care of her and her daughter.
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It's never a nice Idea abandoning the child because of a mistake even though it's not easy at all
I'm happy for her
It's a great disappointment finding out one's child had conceived but like the lady you talked about, you never can tell what the circumstances around her pregnancy could be. Peer pressure? rape? Or even, out of one's volition.
Surely, the answer was with the daughter. You can't comprehend fully a parent's love for their kids. Glad her parents gave her much support she needed.
The love parents have for their children is incomparable.
very true.