When I come across movies where the child is from a wealthy home and has to do all that is expected of them, I get pissed. Most of those expectations are either of the parents failures or their arrogance. But hold on, we have the not so wealthy that try to impose their will on their offspring because they have the right as their parents. I want to be as perfectly clear as I can just incase my offspring comes across this post in a not so distant future where I am being the replica of all I just described.
When our parents brought us into the world, they became responsible for our well-being. They became shouldered with responsibility and the pressure of expectations because they are not just the only ones watching. People from outside are looking in too. People are always waiting to criticise something and thus, they carry us on their shoulders as well as the expectations of the world.
If that child turns out to be something other than a model child, who do people first blame? It’s always the parents. They are either blamed for being too strict or lenient. There is always a way to point fingers at the parents. Hence, why our parents can be harsh when it comes to punishments. It’s not because they hate us but because they hate the thought of us turning away from the right path.
Moving forward, a parent is responsible for pointing a child to the right direction. They are responsible for the way the child views the world right up until the child can tell right from wrong. Once a child is old enough to discern what is good and evil, thanks to the guidance of parents, the metamorphosis has begun. That child, whether of legal age or not, becomes responsible for their own actions. Every yes or no that leaves their lips is as a result of what they want.
In the same way I see the opposite. Once the child is able to tell wrong from right, the parents are there to help them make the right decisions. Emphasis on the world “help” because experience will always be the better teacher. You can tell your child what is the good and right thing and still have them turn their back on you to do what suits them. Why, because they can.
Hence, when it comes to choices, I believe a parent can point a child in the right direction but it is the child who decides to go or not. Like the parent, the child also has dreams and expectations. They have passions and unless they are given the freedom, they won’t be able to freely express themselves but instead be weighed down by shackles of the pressures laid on them.
In my opinion, a parent has no right to choose the career path of their child if it is not what the child wants. Why did I use the word “right”? Well, the parents have lived their lives, and they have raised an adult who should be responsible for theirs. Imposing their will on that child, especially with threats of disownment, is taking away the right of that child which ultimately means taking away a human’s right.
I believe that a human is allowed the freedom of choice. If those choices turn out not so good, they are still responsible for how they respond towards the consequences of their actions. We can’t decide for people. We can only help them make the right choice. However, whether they take your hand or not, is entirely up to them.
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Well written. A career is something that is a major aspect of a person's life. Choosing it for a person is a terrible way to go about it. The person might not have the passion for it and will therefore not excel and fulfil their potential as they should.
Leaving them to make their choices and make their mistakes is the way to go. Advising a child on the better way to tread is great and should be given to them, but they can only become what they are truly meant to be when they have the freedom with the advice you've given them to find themselves.
Gbam! A full blown summary of a long-ass post! Thank you YJ for your engaging comment. Everyone should be free to be their own person
Ge ge, I don collect nickname 😄 "YJ", it's a nice one too.
Yes!
❤️🌹
Every single training, every single advice and the way parents nurture a child has a significant impact in the life of that child either for good or for bad. If you have played ur good role as a parent, it's a big plus to that child's life even as he or she ages, and in that case you have little work to do with a bit confidence that your child will always go for what is right and suitable for him or her... overall, your remaining work is to guide the child through your experience and never to enforce anything on the child... every living soul has the right to exercise their choices as long as they can different the good from the bad.
Indeed ma! We can't take away the rights of our children for our pleasure.
This is my favorite paragraph in your post. There's so much wisdom here. I think that this paragraph right here is what those parents don't get. Your child has a life of their own. THEIR life. Where THEY make THEIR choices, and learn and take accountability for the repurcussions of those choices. I think that parents love the idea that you're still their little baby and that you can't survive this "cruel and dangerous" world without sticking to their absolute dictation because it's probably the only way they can stay in denial of the fact that you are in fact, becoming an independent person now.
This comment! How can I nominate this as the best comment so far?
Indeed! Some parents think their children are spineless and would die without them. Literally. It's the symptom of chronic control syndrome. And I see it with some children and their parents
I agree with this, parents can only guide. It's now left for the child to choose and made to understand that they will live with the consequences of their choice.
Totally. All left to the child
I totally agree with you, parents can help to make decisions but not impose their own choices on the child.
They shouldn't. Live and let live