How has your perspective on life changed over time?
For someone who believes that change is constant and who also believes that as the world is evolving, we must evolve, so you don't get left out alone, in the ditch, and in the dark, while others are moving on. I think I can say that my perspective on life or about life has changed a whole lot ranging from my experiences, my relationship with people, others' experiences, my exposure, my environment, and daily interactions with people.
It wouldn't be wrong to attribute my change of perspective about life towards advancement in age, even though I have seen people who are advanced in age but their perspective about life is terrible, myopic, and terrible. I know people will have different perspectives about life and I accept it based on their experiences, environment, and lack of exposure or exposure to things but if one's perspective is outrageous, barbaric, and insensitive to others then it should be a thing of worry.
As I climb the third stage of my life which of course is going to happen in a few months, I can boldly tell someone that my view of life is on a different level, I mean I couldn't have gotten here if I had not crossed so many hurdles, I couldn't have been sane if I had not learned, unlearned and released not only from my experiences but also from others experiences.
The fun thing about my life is that When I grew up, I grew up fast, I had to because responsibility came at me at a very young age and for someone naive about life at that time, I saw many things at a young age and experienced many things at a young age. Some good some great even and others I relive in my nightmares. These are experiences I can not forget, they are events I would never change because they made me, they moulded me, they taught me strength, they taught me confidence and courage, they taught me to believe in myself, self-defense, self-esteem, they taught me independence, they taught me a lot.
While in my twenties, I wanted to be at peace with everyone, it's cool to be at peace with everyone, I mean the Bible commands it but as I grew older, I realized that it's better not to be at peace with everyone at your detriment because the hate, the jealousy, the envy, the bitterness, the betrayal, the mistrust, and the other negative vice will always be in the world, so you can even be in your space and these things or kind of persons will always come at you. If they want peace, give them peace, and if they don't want it, don't force it, so you don't get burned in the process. Go with the flow, don't be deep into it, when they aren't, the energy they put into it should be the energy you give in return.
What life did not teach me was that not only strangers can cause you pain and harm but families can as well and that was my mistake. As a young girl, who had the sole responsibility of taking care of her family, I took the responsibility so seriously that I forgot myself, I lost myself while doing that but not only did I realize that I had hurt myself, but I also realized that I had let myself go and allowed family dictate my life. The mistake I made was not evolving, as I helped my family evolve and by the time I realized what I had done and the years I had wasted, I was already in my late twenties.
My perspective has changed from one who thought building family first was ideal to building myself before family, it does not mean I am neglecting them, of course, I still play my role and do what needs to be done, but this time, I am not the sacrificial lamb, every hand need to be on deck so we can all build the family.
My perspective has changed from one who thought she had all the years to come back and find her bearings, to one who tried to please people around her even at her detriment but later regretted it, to the person I should’ve been, one who knows that anything can happen, not to take each day for granted and Live for me and not for someone else.
I may have beat death, more times than I can count, may have survived the terrible thunderstorms and whirlwinds and still standing with just scars as a reminder, but I have learned never to take life for granted, never to take my life for granted because living happens just once and that it is how I treat myself or my life that people get to treat me or my life.
As I get older, I realized that my perspective on life has made me more tolerant, not less, as I grow too tired to care about things I thought too much about in my youth and I have realized that many religious, and other social biases and strong opinions I used to have are beginning to fade, as I realize their meaninglessness and not worth the stress, and I am much less concerned about what others think of me, In fact, not concerned at all, not anymore. Whatever you wish to think about it, is none of my business as it does not add any money to my account, pay the bills, or put food on my table and this has fully liberated me to be myself more because I don't give two penny or a hout what you think about me.
As I said, I am in my era of peace and genuineness, so I wouldn't take a minute to kick out any relationship or friendship of any sort that isn't good for my emotional, physical, psychological, and mental health. Good thing I don't know how to pretend, so once I notice that a particular person is toxic to me, I would shift you, I mean, I used to believe in having a cycle of friendship, a chain of friendship, and the rest and these caused me to meet with people I wasn't supposed to meet with even to the extent of allowing them in my space and going all out for them all in the name of friendship as such, not creating boundaries and as much as I know that relationship is key as we grow but as I grow older, I believe more in "healthy relationship/friendships".
I wouldn't mind damning all the memories. I am in my era where I just want peace and genuineness, so if for any reason I am getting the opposite, I would do well to walk out the door because I don't have the time to try to explain anymore.
This is my entry to Hive Naija Weekly Prompts | Edition 87
Ps: Pictures are of me doing a hair model with my natural hair.
Thank you for reading!!!
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Oh my! Your hair is so beautiful Eli🤭🤭
It's just as if the post doesn't concern me again the moment I saw the hair😄
But yeah you're right, I used to think I can be that person that's at peace with everyone just like you but hehe, that's not possible. It's better to roll who wants to roll with you and shut out the rest