Life happens; but you choose where you belong.

in Hive Naija2 months ago

Life happens!
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If you haven't learned to accept harsh realities as they come, then you would be thrown off balance, and it could lead to unfortunate circumstances.

Though this prompt got me thinking a lot, what do we define as FAMILY in itself? Family doesn't have to be blood related; family could be a stranger you might have met yesterday and even better, someone who could sacrifice wholeheartedly for you.

Family is the root of every person's formation; if you were traumatized due to your family's carelessness, then it would show.

Though this prompt reminded me of a little story I heard way back: a lady found out she was a twin; coincidentally, she was in her late 20s. Imagine meeting someone that looks exactly like you in a mall. You guys got engaged in a conversation, and you found out that your attributes are similar; your likes and dislikes almost collide.

Out of curiosity, they both did a DNA test only to find out they are blood related and twins at that. They also found out their parents were not their biological parents. It turns out that one of the twins was maltreated by her adopted parents while the other wasn't. They went in search of their biological parents, while that information is still very unknown; they both had to move in together just to establish a relationship.

While adoption is nice, especially if you get into the right family, it also has its disadvantages too.

If I was found wanting in such a situation, where my current parents were not my biological parents and they actually provided proofs of not being my parents. I would have been in shock for a while. But I love my parents, so I think I would have gotten over it. But that would have a huge impact on me.

Imagine waking up one morning to find out the people you consider your family are not your biological family. Now that's a big pill to swallow, but that's where acceptance comes in. Instead of allowing the reality of things to throw you off balance, you can accept the reality of things in good faith. Because they too had a choice not to choose you, but they did anyway. And why I would choose my parents and family is because they have loved and taken good care of me.

So even if I had felt a little disappointed, I wouldn't stop seeing my adopted parents the way I had always seen them. Looking for my biological parents would only be out of curiosity, like knowing if they are still alive.

But if the case was reversed, like the twin that was maltreated, I think it's very advisable to look for one's biological parents.

I do hold family dear to me, but if I were placed in such a situation, I wouldn't see myself going to my biological parents; we might establish a relationship along the line, but what if they don't want me in the first place, then what? If it were the case of being kidnapped, you know the scenario of a child being kidnapped, or I was exchanged with another baby in a hospital, that of course would be a different story.

But what if I was placed for adoption just because I was born out-of-wedlock and my mother couldn't take care of me because my father wasn't in the picture, and she decided it's best to put me up for adoption? Some are even worse: they give birth to you and dump you somewhere to just die. Imagine being informed about all this while you're in search of your biological parents. It could leave a permanent trauma in you.

So if I'm okay with my adopted parents, all I need to know about my biological parents is if they are alive, and well, I don't think I need to know more than that. But if we eventually get to know each other, I would still prioritize my adopted parents because they are all I have known all my life. But that doesn't mean I won't give my biological parents a chance to develop a relationship with me, especially if they are not in the wrong here.
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That's a nice view... giving ur biological parents a chance to have a relationship with you is nice when their reasons for giving u out is tangible enough... however some adoptive parents are just exceptional and don't apply discrimination at all while nurturing both their own kids and an adopted child..if that is the case... then u own them gratitude upon finding out and still maintain a good relationship with them

Yes ma, you are very much correct! Establishing a relationship with them prove that you are matured and regrade them. Let's say they lost you out of some unfortunate situation would you not give them a chance at least. And what's more better than having two parents, you get everything double.😂😂

 2 months ago  

Indeed. Nothing can beat family and family is not always characterized by blood. I really like how you approached the topic. Those who have been there in our pains, joys, disappointments, despair, sickness, health… that is what I see as family

Yes! Your formation starts with your root back in your family, family doesn't have to be blood, blood do fail this days. So it's better to be with those that are ready to be with you although the good and bad days. That's family.