A Wake-Up Call: How a recent experience changed my perspective on anger and self-control.

in Hive Naijayesterday

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I've always been the type of person who tends to get angry easily. If someone tries to push my buttons, I usually don’t hold back and end up putting them in their place, sometimes throwing out words that are harsh and impulsive. I’ve known for a while that my temper isn’t great, but it’s always felt like part of who I am. However, something happened recently that made me seriously reconsider my approach to conflict, anger and self-control.

One evening, I stepped out to grab some dinner for myself. While I was outside, I got a call from my mom. It was one of those conversations that just drains you emotionally, and when it ended, my mood took a nosedive and i wasn't just in the best of mood. Suddenly, I didn’t feel like talking to anyone. I felt tense and just wanted to be left alone.

After buying some bread to eat, I went back to my room. The moment I walked in, one of my roommates asked me to close the door. Normally, I might have done it without a second thought, but because I was already in such a bad mood, I didn’t feel like doing anything for anyone. So I ignored him, and that simple act turned into a full-blown argument. Words started flying back and forth, and in the heat of the moment, I said something really out of line—I insulted his dad. It was harsh, and my roommate snapped. Before I knew it, he punched me, and attacked me very close to my wardrobe. I ended up with bruises and a swollen face, like I’d just been in a boxing match.

Looking in the mirror afterward, with my swollen eyes staring back, I was just frustrated and angry. My first instinct was to report him to the hostel masters, and I did. They took it seriously. We were given forms to write down what really happened that lead to the fight, and despite his apologies, they decided to escalate the situation. They even drafted a letter that, if sent to the right authorities, would lead to him either being suspended for a year or, in the worst case, rusticated. And in our school, that’s about as serious as it gets. Rustication isn’t just a small thing—it could ruin his academic career and cost his family a fortune.

Even though I was still hurting, physically and emotionally, I started to think about what all this would mean for him and his family. His parents had invested so much in his education, and if he got suspended or expelled because of this fight, it would set him back and waste their sacrifices. So, I swallowed my pride and went to plead on his behalf. I didn’t want his life derailed over an argument that spiraled out of control. Thankfully, they listened, and he was let off with a warning.

He thanked me repeatedly,and i was clearly relieved, but something in me had shifted. I realized that my own anger had been the spark that led to all this chaos. If I had just kept my cool, none of it would have happened. I couldn’t look at him the same way after the incident—not because I hated him, but because the whole situation felt like a wake-up call.

Since that day, I’ve been trying to approach things differently. I’m working hard to control my temper. I don’t snap back at people as quickly as I used to, and I’m starting to see how staying calm can change the outcome of situations. It’s been hard, but I know I have to make this change for myself and the people around me. Talking back only fuels my anger, and I’ve come to see that it’s not worth the potential fallout.

This experience taught me that sometimes, the best response is silence and nothing done in anger is ever successful. I’m learning to let things go, to pause before reacting, and to avoid letting my anger make decisions for me. It’s not easy to change, but knowing how close I came to seriously impacting someone else’s life has given me all the motivation I need.

Thanks for reading.

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