I never ever dreamt of a time in my life when the word "breakfast" would mean something other than food eaten first thing in the morning.
I guess the likes of Oxford and Merriam Webster Dictionary would need to include the new definition Nigerian youths have given that word.
If you're a Nigerian, I need not explain the word to you, but for the sake of my other friends who may not be familiar with the new meaning, I'll explain briefly.
So, when it comes to a romantic relationship between a man and a woman, either parties could decide to call it quits at any point in time.
When this happens, it means the person who called it quit has served breakfast to the other person.
The other person on the receiving end has collected breakfast 🥲 ( a.k.a chop breakfast)
So when two partners breakup, we call it breakfast.
I hope that helps.
There has been many cases of ladies who after collecting breakfast cannot think of any other thing but to commit suicide. I believe this mostly stems from a distorted view of Life and one's self worth and identity.
Many ladies who do this feel they have invested so much into the relationship and a breakup is like destroying their life.
Most ladies, especially the conservative ones have this desire somewhere in their head that they would love to get married to the first person they fall in love with.
As lovely as this sounds, In reality, this is not always the case.
Being a conservative lady, I had my fair share of that rude shock that I wasn't going to be spending the rest of my life with my "first love".
While growing up, I kind of was more inclined to the Yoruba-speaking tribe. Probably because I was born and brought up amidst them.
Somewhere in my head, I wanted to get married to a yoruba man.
Of course not the "yoruba demon" we hear about nowadays 😂
I wanted someone that was godly, educated, a bit taller than I am, Dark-skinned and Handsome.
I nursed this fantasy in my head as a teenager and when I got into the University I continued with it subconsciously.
I almost forgot, another criteria I had was that he should be hairy.
I didn't want to get married to someone that was bald and then my daughter would now get his own traits instead of mine.
Since I had long hair I didn't want any genetic error in my female children😂😂😂
Like they say, I attracted what I desired and before i knew it, I was in a relationship with my prince charming.
source
As Christians, the relationship was that of a courtship leading to marriage.
I felt I had found my "Mr Right" as he ticked most of the boxes I had in my head.
He was godly, handsome, had full growing hair, dark-skinned and of cause a Yoruba Man.
The Caveat
Age Difference
He was 8 years older than I was. While this is not an issue in it self, It made me relate with him not as a partner but as a mentee😂
So whenever he does things I did not like, I found it very difficult to speak out. Hence it brought strain to the relationship. I was practically dying in silence.
My roommate then, felt I wasn't in the right relationship but as they say "when two people are in love they may be blind."
It takes an external person to sometimes see that something is wrong.
Another Caveat
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Unhealthy Comparisons
As much as he was a very good person, he couldn't help but compare me to other ladies.
The object of comparison was mainly how I dressed.
This constantly made me feel I wasn't up to his standard and it reduced my self esteem too.
No matter how hard I tried to dress well with the little dresses I had, he wasn't really satisfied.
Last Caveat
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Secrecy
I remember him telling me that we should keep the relationship secret for now.
Hence, I only told my best friend.
No other person knew about our relationship 😕
Not even a spiritual mentor.
This meant that the only person I could talk to whenever we had issues was my best friend who did not approve of the relationship in the first place.
Forging ahead
Despite these caveats, I decided to keep going, hoping that one day things would get better.
One fateful day, he called to let me know that he was going home to see his parents and he was going to tell them about me. So that we can make plans for me to see them and progress to Introduction.
Highly elated, I hung up the phone.
I never knew that was going to be the last time we would discuss about marriage plans.
I was preparing for an exam. It was my 2nd MB exam in Medical School so I decided to focus on my exams.
After my exams we revisited the discussion on how his visit to his parents went.
Long story short, we couldn't go on with the relationship because he said his mother didn't approve of it for reasons best known to her.
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I was devastated, I was just served my own breakfast, hot and direct from the oven.
I didn't know where to start from.
Thank God for my roommate who stood by me to encourage me.
I cried hot tears😂
The Outcome
That experience had a lot of impact on me, both negative and positive. But I'm glad in the end, the positive impact outweighed the negative.
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I spent some days literally crying alone, unable to attend classes or school activities.
My spiritual life was down because I felt, "why did God allow me go into a relationship that will end like that."
I found it hard to pray and enjoy fellowship with God.
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However, I'm thankful for the help of the Holy Spirit who comforted me when I needed it most.
"My worship by Phil Thompson"
This Song was my Anthem that season
I would literally sing it over and over again in tears each time I want to pray.
Journey to Healing
Many young ladies carry emotional baggages from past relationships into the new one.
I didn't want this so I decided to ensure I was emotionally healed of every hurt before I gave love another chance.
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It took me 2 whole years to heal completely.
I remember telling my fiance back then before we started courting that, I needed to get healed before I got into another relationship so that I wouldn't be seeing him as a "second choice."
He was patient with me and I must say I'm glad i got redirected to my Fiance.
Though not a Yoruba man, he is the perfect definition of what you ordered versus what you really need.
I thought I knew what I wanted in a spouse but God gave me what I really need.
I'll drop my pen here.
I want to appreciate you for reading up till this point.
I hope to write more soonest.
See you soon.
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STOPMoving story. You live you learn I think. I only didn’t expect THIS when I saw the breakfast pic and title. 🫣😅
😂😂😂😂
I know it would have caught a lot of readers off guard.
Yes we live, we learn😂
Thank you so much for reading 🙏