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It is normal with people to extend hand in helping someone that is in need of cash especially due to the generosity nature in man.
People have a desire to help, to help out or to be of service, and to change someone’s life. Of course, there is a limit to which one needs to be so helpful and bail someone out all the time, it is then time to draw the line and tell the person NO.
It is never easy to draw the line and tell a man or woman ‘No’, when he or she comes begging everytime for a loan. Refusal to give can make us doubt ourselves, feel guilty, selfish or even heartless.
But let us not forget about ourselves and do not allow ourselves and our families to suffer financially just to help others. We may also end up encouraging a certain type of behavior in an individual by providing them everytime with money; for example, making them too reliable or relaxed knowing that they have someone else providing for them when they are not willing or able to find a job themselves, will certainly not help the situation.
If and only if, one has to set limit and turn down such a person then it is the time that one starts feeling stressed and pressured due to the constant demands of such person for money. Hence, whenever helping financially put a burden or affect us financially we can easily come to a conclusion that it would be time to reconsider.
Another thing that needs to be discussed is the situation where the person requiring the finance does not make any efforts for enhancing his or her abilities or changing for the better. If they are not trying to get a job, cut on their spending, or look for another help, then it is encouraging their poor behavior by giving them money.
Also, if the person in need of the money, is not honest in spending the given amount, or is not truthful about his or her need then it might be time to put a ‘no’ to the requests for the help needed. If we have any suspicion about their use, the funds that we are donating are not being used or are being used to promote abhorrent behavior then it is best to guard against such exploitation.
Many feel that setting boundaries and saying no to those that require financial assistance means that they don’t care or want to pitch in. It just means that we are giving ourselves and our financial security the importance they deserve.
When making our decision it should also be done in a way that the other party understands and if available other ways of supporting or helping should be provided.
Hence, it is important to draw the line and tell an beggared person no, when such help harms us in return, when the person is not striving to get a job or any other source of income, or when there are suspicions about their usage of the cash.
In this way, we see our own needs and at the same time consider the potential consequences and after effects of our Actions.
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I have to put up quite the barrier recently when it comes to people I assist financially especially in my own family. Unfortunately, family members are the ones who'd suck you dry if you let them.
I still suffer with lending. I do give even if I know that the person should not be encouraged.
It's guilt.
Thanks a lot for sharing. I learnt a lot
I agree with you as well, it is important to be sure of how the individual you are about to lend some money to, intends to spend that money. I think we all have a right to know that, if not the exact details, then at least a general idea.