Till today, I have yet to understand why people remain in a toxic relationship despite the negative effect it has on them. So many lives have been lost and some have lost their mental sanity. Relationships have never been a do-or-die affair hence, you're not wise if you choose to remain in such a relationship. Most times those who insist on staying in an abusive relationship do so with the hope that their partner will change in the future. This is the most wack and ludicrous thought. I have never seen a repented abuser or a bully. Bullying is one animalistic behavior that always remains a part and parcel of a person which is unleashed at the slightest provocation. This behavior only ends in death. So the idea that an abuser will change or repent from such is like saying that a woman of ninety years of age can be put to bed.
The most amazing and disappointing aspects of toxic relationships are the ones that happened while courting. Even with the obvious and spontaneous display of this nefarious attitude, these people will still go ahead and get married with the hope that everything will be fine. The truth will remain that whatever behavior one puts on in a relationship will continue in marriage, no two ways about it.
Many people think that getting married to a clueless person or a person not well financially is the worst decision one can make in marriage. However, that's not the case, most times, some people are poor in a relationship yet they are happy and living in peace. And at the same time, others are rich yet their relationships are an ocean of domestic violence and vices.
An abusive relationship is not all about fighting and causing commotion. It embodies verbal abuse and unnecessary disturbances that bring discomfort and total mental illness. The effect of this is that it has a way of changing the character of the other partner. What I mean in essence is that when an innocent person entangles with another who's an abuser in the relationship, such has a way of influencing the other partner to be like him or her. Some abusers were not born that way, but the environment plays a big role in molding the character of a person. This is a major reason one must be careful when choosing a partner.
The height of every abusive relationship is death. I tag it as a highway to the grave. An abusive relationship that leads one partner to the grave is not the one that happened at first instance, it's the one, in which one had to endure with the hope that he or she might change in character. The day that an abusive relationship results in death is usually a normal day like every other day. Therefore, a wise person will run away from every appearance of abuse in the relationship because the highest point of it will result in death.
A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. The same also is true that a broken marriage is better than the death of the couple.
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This is an insightful and sobering look at the realities of toxic relationships. The idea that enduring abuse with the hope of change is fundamentally flawed is particularly powerful. As you pointed out, the cycle of abuse tends to persist, and marriage often exacerbates pre-existing behaviors. Your emphasis on the fact that abuse can take many forms beyond physical violence, such as verbal and emotional mistreatment, adds depth to the conversation. The takeaway is clear: prioritizing one’s mental and physical well-being over remaining in a harmful relationship is essential. Breaking free, even when it's difficult, is often the path to a healthier future. Thank you for bringing attention to such an important issue with clear, practical advice.