The world of today is not like the olden days when the insights, lessons and words of the elderly is respected and followed to the core. Gone are the days when the words of parents, and elders in general, is treated like gold, like a rare gem that is really hard to find.
One saying that has stuck with me right from my childhood is the one that says; ethe things that an old man will see while seating down, a yound blood will never see it, even though they climb the tallest tree or mountain. This is not about what you see physically at the moment, but its about their views of the future. Guess what? their views, insights and predictions are always 90% accurate, prolly because they have gathered diverse and indebt experience from the given situatuin.
The most annoying and disheartening thing about being a parent is when you see that instead of your child to follow your footsteps, the footsteps, the footsteps you brought them up with, they allow their peers to influence them into doing things that are shameful to talke about. it hurts a lot.
Peer influence has caused more harm than good in our society. Some times, a child may have good environment, good parents that are responsible, good school, but bad peers. Smoking, drinking, womanizing, prostitution and many more, majorly comes as a result of peer influence on a person.
However, parental approach towards the influenced child can help alleviate many bad things from occuring in their childrens life.
Lets assume that i am a parent, and was blessed with a beautiful daughter. My daughter have been good and have always followed my footstep. I give her her needs, and guide her in path of righteousness. However, when this good girl went to the university, she began to change negatively. It got to an extent where she got pregnant and could not even tell who is responsible.
Welp, my reaction will be natural. Having the Nigerian blood in my veins, God knows, i will want to skin her alive and arrest all her boyfriends until i get the one responsible. No cap, i will want to go extra length to descipline my child. However, after shock caused by the news pass away, the only thing i will think of is solution.
Wether or not the baby's father is identiified, I will not want her to abort the baby. No, instead, she will carry the baby till term. I will not withdraw her from school because it is important for her future, however, she will continue to school even while pregnant, but, I will assign a strict female body guard that will follow her everywhere she goes to, even to the toilet. this is to ensure that no harm befalls my grand kid.
I am an igbo, and one of our tradition is that; if a bride price is not paid on a woman, any child she gives birth to belongs to her father. So, this is the major reason why i will allow her give birth to the child.
After birth, she will nurse the child, and continue with her education. Even though i am disappointed, i will not fail to show her all the fatherly love she deserves. I will even go out of my way to make her happy because i know that she will be feeling really bad. She may even think of suicide or may even have postpartum blues. So, i will be sure to avoid that, but then, she will give birth to the child, and nurse the child even when schooling.
I will aid her in every way possible - provide her with basic amenities but scold her with love, then, when the storm is over, i will start all over again to mould her to be the good girl she once was. When i achieve this, I may call off the body guard.
Most parents tend to over react and even send their children away in suh situation. Its natural to feel really sad and stuff, but look at the bright side, this person knows only you. Mistakes are made, but then, if God decides to purnish us for all the mistakes we make, we may not live to see the next day.
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I agree with you in keeping the pregnancy and good to hear about your tradition. We may feel disappointed but, a parent's love can never be comprehended. Correcting children in love while rebuking them draws them closer to us.
Teenage pregnancy is not easy to deal with.