We enter into relationships for different reasons, some relationships are just mutual friendship, some are romantic, some are for connections, some for status or class, some are strictly for finance or informations, while some might be spiritual. I think I have been in almost all these ones I mentioned.
One of the profound relationship I've ever had in my life is friendship, I mean being with the right set of individuals who make your life better: godly and faithful friends. It started in my first year in university, I used to be so lonely, I did not have any real friends and it was because I did not know how to make friends and did not really see it as a bad thing. It never bothered me to have someone close I can talk, play and share things with basically. Meanwhile, a particular lady have been curious about me, the mysterious guy, that shows up to submit the departmental assignment at the HOC's hostel and would leave immediately: does not even bother trying to initaite a conversation with anyone.
Somehow, she found her way into my whatsapp dm. She was the AHOC (Assistant Head of Class) so it was easier to get my contact. One thing led to another and we became friends and becane friends with her friends too. At first, we all started as brethren who wanted to grow spiritually, in knowledge of God. So we do meet to share the Word of God and pray together, sometimes, we visited each other very often to eat and we choose the next person's hostel to visit to eat again. It was fun and beautiful to have friends that support each other.
Over time, things died down a bit, we see each other less often because of school stress as we advance to higher levels in our department: tougher lectures, activities ans assignments that took most of our time. The AHOC who made her first move to be my friend moved into school hostel, she was no longer very active online which made the friendship not so intimate like it used to be. I tried my best to be so close as I could be whenever we meet in lecture halls, but it seems as though I wasn't doing enough. I was still a bit closer to one of her friends and things were going smooth between us.
This kept going on for about a whole session and a semester. Later on, she started a business which required her to be active online. I thought it was my chance to put an end to the distance so I would show up in her dm almost everyday but her response is always low, low energy but I kept my own energy. Somedays it would take her a day or more to reply my messages. One fateful day, I decided to ask the question, "why are you like this, you've changed and it is so unlike you". The reply I got was, "you are asking me as if you used to check up on me".
I was shocked because how could I find someone who decides to hide herself from people, stopped coming online for long. I was so pained that I tried my best but she did not see it at all, she saw herself as the victim, while I was the villian. I did all that because of the good memories we ones shared before her sudden change in attitude. I never met her physically to engage in a matured conversation with her because all her other reasons sounded so immature, so I let her be up till date though we still greet and chat once a while.
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She did not try at all and I believe she just want to systematically get rid of you. I am not the type who love to chat a lot but I respect it when people drop a message in my dm and responding quickly is the least I can do.
Situations like this, letting go is always the best choice.
I really did not want to let her go so easily because of how good the friendship started, but I got tired and had to free myself from it.
Thank you for engaging my post.
It's so sad that people can go from people you know to people you don't. But it's fine... You cannot be a hero in everyone's story and thirty children can't play together for thirty years.. I lost a good friend recently also. Just pick yourself up and move on. Take care💖
Yeah, 30 children can never be together for 30 years o. I have moved on.
Thank you Babymoyin🤗
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it is like she gaslighted you. You tried to ask her what is wrong and then she plays the victim and make it look like you are the reason for everything being wrong. I understand that you didn't like the energy and you felt there is no reason for me to stress over this any longer.
From the beginning of your post, you say we have different kind of friends for different reasons. I don't know what type me and you share oh?
Editor: starstrings01
Some friends or let's say relationship are mainly for business or updates or school etc. You and I, we are friends, the kind that is not based on one thing, it is mutual: we have shared core values, we are eagerly helping in other grow directly and indirectly.
Our friendship is growth. I hope you get it👀😂