During my childhood and teenage days, there were some characteristics I exhibited due to my upbringing when I grew up, I realized there is more to life than that, which caused some adjustments in my life. One of the attributes I possessed then that I had to change was trying to be in everyone's good book. In adulthood, I realized life doesn't work like that, and neither are human beings being grateful to the good ones, although that doesn't mean being bad; then I stopped trying to impress anyone to be on my side. I've had quite a lot of experiences while growing up of how badly people who are trying to be in everyone's good book are treated, and I never wanted to deal with that as an adult. That's why I changed my approach to life, and that has helped me a great deal.
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I no longer have to deal with unpleasant things or acts just because I don't want people to get annoyed, thereby hurting my self-esteem. I treat individuals according to how they should be treated, which is the reason I don't have many friends. I'd rather be alone in my world than have fake people around me, thereby endangering my life. This is what most people call pride, but it's not; it is just the best way to live a happy life.
Another change I've made as I grow is not to prioritize others happiness and comfort over mine. Sometimes, the kind of upbringing given to us by our parents limits us to some certain extent and makes standing up for oneself look like being rude. I remember that while growing I always wanted people around me to be happy, contributing to me being inferior to myself. I accept insults and humiliation as a sign of being respectful, all because my parents wanted me to be respectful to both young and old. Sometimes, I would be embarrassed, and I wouldn't be able to fight back because I was taught to be respectful, but gladly, when I grew to adulthood and became wiser, I realized that's not being respectful. That's being taken for a fool. It was then I stopped giving in to disrespect in any form. I always give a befitting reply to anyone who dares disrespect me.
This helped create boundaries between me and some people all because I won't jeopardize my self-respect for them to be happy. Just as I said earlier I would rather be alone in my world than have people disrespect me just to be around me. A scenario happened recently, and a friend was kind of rude to me over an issue, and instead of fighting and taking the matter overboard, I decided to create a boundary in the interest of both parties. I take corrections to heart, but I will never accept my self-respect being dragged in the mud for you to be happy.
And then lastly is minding my business; this has helped my life a lot; you don't see me meddling in people's businesses whether you're a friend or family. I've learned to appreciate the real ones in my life and put everyone else where they belong. People coming into one's life for a time and season; don't force someone who is to walk with you for a year into staying for three years; you will end up being hurt, and once their mission is complete, they will surely leave. Gone are the days when I wanted to hold on to everybody; these days, I let everyone who wants to slip away just go, and that is for my sanity. There is much to life than trading my mental health for those who are not appreciative. Also, life has taught me that when people no longer need your service, you will be discarded like you were nothing to them, then you will be left to wallow in the pain of regret and life is way too sweet for me to be sad over matters that aren't worth it.
All these changes I made in my life have impacted me positively and contributed to my happiness, determination, and focus on becoming a better version of myself. I no longer have to deal with inferiority, nor trade my happiness for others. Life has become easier with no burden of thinking about what people might think about me. To me, everybody is liable for their thinking; it's theirs, and you can't take it from them. So I let each and every one think whatever they please; what they think doesn't define who I am. My peace matters the most and I will hold on to it dearly. The only thing that can hurt is the memories of them, and at some point in life, those memories will be discarded as new ones will be made.
Thanks for your time and your comments will be appreciated.
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thank you for your story, it's very interesting. finding the best version of yourself
Thanks for reading
See that minding your business part, nothing can beat that. It not only gives you peace of mind but also ensures you put yourself first. You have learned great life lessons.
That's what many people can't do, why will one find it difficult to mind their business