Image is mine
Back then in Uni, I had this friend that we were not all that close. But somehow, after Uni we kept in touch and our friendship blossomed. We became each other's confidant and support system such that our families became aware of our friendship. It was such a relationship that remained platonic despite all the signs that it could have blossomed into something romantic.
Whenever it involves a new love interest, we always sought each other's opinion if to go ahead with a relationship or not. Then as time progressed, we discovered that we had a common challenge and that's us being in toxic relationships. A situation that broke us on an individual level but strengthened our friendship together because we had more reason to look out for each other.
Our friendship was structured such that boundaries were minimal and the laid down rules we had for other people did not apply to us. I usually do not take calls once it's past 8pm but my friend would call me by 3am in the morning and I'd have to sacrifice my sleep to be up and listen to whatever that he has to say. For him, he prefers text to call.
However, before calling, he expects to be texted first for an approval. But when it comes to me, I could pick up my phone and call him at random, especially whenever I'm having one of those bad days. At a point both our friends concluded that we were in a relationship and we just got tired of telling them otherwise. We remained friends despite being lovers in the eyes of many.
Moving on, we managed to sustain the friendship until last month when I decided to cut him off and deleted his contact from my phone. Interestingly, he never called or reached out and it was comforting for me because it became inherent that I took the right decision.
If there's one thing I have always done in my relationship with others is to put me first. Although, I'm not quick to cut off ties, especially one of such closeness. But when the friendship becomes one sided and filled with struggles, that's a cue that it's time to let go. With this my former friend, I noticed he started drifting two years ago when I had a legal issue. The moment the problem started, I had reached out to him that for my sanity, I'd be offline and he could reach me via my mom.
He was concerned at first and as I narrated my ordeal to him, he sympathised greatly with me. After that conversation we had, it was me never hearing from him again. And even after the whole situation blew over and I was vindicated, it was me constantly reaching out and him coming up with excuses for his absence. Sometimes, he would promise to call me and even apologize for his negligence but that's just as it goes because I never did get any call from him.
The final straw that broke the Camel's back was having to still call him to inform him that I would be in Lagos for the Holiday. I even sent him my location and it so happened that he lives in the area. I had expected to see him because before the whole Lagos trip and him growing cold, he would often whine about how distance is taking a toll on our friendship. But there was me in Lagos and my friend ghosted. I was furious to say the least and I wasn't going to let him have such a hold on me and ruin my holiday.
Before finalising on the decision to cut him off, I had reached out severally to know what's wrong and why the sudden change. I never got a concrete response from him as he didn't even acknowledge that there was a problem with our friendship.
Above is my response to the Inleo prompt day 20, you can participate HERE
Posted Using INLEO
I think you eventually took the right decision because I don't see why someone who took you as a best friend would ghost you just like that, and without a concrete reasons. That's unfair but yes, you did the best thing to cut him off. Some people are like that.
Thank you babe 😚. The moment I discovered how much power we have over situations it's been me protecting my space.
Exactly. We have the power and we need to protect ourselves and space.
If I say what's on my mind, that uncle friend wee not like me o😂. Who does that? Ghosting someone you call a best friend.
But wait, could it be that he wanted the friendship to be something serious fall, but wasn't bold enough to say it for fear of being rejected? Such things happen.
Well, you know what's best for you and you did just that.
!BBH
I say??? God will punish him on my behalf 😂🤣.... My dear, the hand writing on the wall was too legible for me to still be a mumu. After all, friendship is not by force o 😂... Thank you for reading me dear 😘
But babe, you didn't try na. You just allowed another aunty to take away a fine gentleman like that. 🤪. Both of you had so many things in common, and it would have been a perfect match. 👌
Don't come for me o, my head is turninoninown 🤣
!DOOK
😂... I will stone you bathroom slippers don't worry 😂😂
Yeeeppaaa 🏃🏃
Yeye girl why are you running eh? 😂🤣
Go and read that post where I tagged you oo 🤣🤣
That was so not nice of him to ghost you even after knowing you two were in the same locality. Beautiful picture by the way and anytime you come to Singapore, call me. Don’t worry, I won’t ghost you like your friend.
🤣🤣🤣🤣you and who is doing singerpore???
🤣🤣🤣
Just avoid me 😂
Thank you for the compliment 😊
Ghana pore, you mean? 🤔
!BBH
Don’t believe everything you see on the internet
Hmmm. Watching you from 3D 😳
Isn't it obvious that he is no longer interested in the friendship? He should be bold enough to discuss his reasons instead of beating about the bush.. mtchew
Ehmmm, so you are in lagos this babe
Exactly why I did not hesitate to cut him off afterwards.
Me that came to Lagos and you with big headed @princessbusayo ran to your respective villages... Don't annoy me this night. I left and that was y'all came back to do hive meet and greet 😒
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ms violence..this is hive oo
Be calming down
When we meet at discord..we go settle am abeg 🤣🤣🤣
😂🤣🤣🤣 continue to bring my leg outside Nkem.... We go meet for discord 😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😄😄
I can comment on the photo alone, right?😅
This photo is dripping too much 💦💦💦💦
Of course 😌.... Thank you 😌🤭
Even comments here are not smiling 🤓🤓
well, I think you did the right thing by cutting him off. You deserve better, not someone that ignores you and makes excuses constantly.
I believe that friendships, just like relationships rewuires effort from both parties.
Most definitely..
It takes two to make it work. Thank you for reading me dear 😌
Smiles
Very much welcome 🥰
Thank you 😊