The falcon is present, without being named. Lovely. I guess that's what minimalist poetry can do: create energetically. You've clearly conveyed the presence of that bird (especially in the first poem), but that presence is in a space beyond the words. Far more powerful than a precise description could ever be.
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Wow! Thanks! Saying the ineffable is the primary function of poetry for me, so that's a cool comment, the best. Have you tried haiku? Keep an eye out on @bananafish's haiku contest in English, which should be popping up soon. That there is stating both the obvious and the ineffable in very few syllables and is a major rush.
I have tried haiku, and I'm far from mastering it! I'll definitely watch for that contest.
Thanks for the cross post! That's pretty cool! And you can do that after payout? Does it have to have been published in a community?
Ta da!
https://steempeak.com/haikucontest/@bananafish/mizu-no-oto-every-image-has-its-haiku-edition-47-english