Solvitur Ambulando — It is Solved by Walking
~St. Augustine
We have a labyrinth in our back yard. It "told us" to build it, back in the summer of 2012... and so we did.
People often use the terms "maze" and "labyrinth" interchangeably but they are actually quite different.
Freshly mowed labyrinth in the spring sun
A maze might have multiple entries and exits, paths that end blindly, paths that lead you in infinite loops and generally can make you feel lost and disoriented.
A labyrinth has one path that winds from its point of entry to the center. Large labyrinths can be quite complex because all the twists and turns have to be laid out in such a way that a single path flows the entire way.
A maze is a challenge, a riddle, an obstacle.
A labyrinth is a gentle guided meditation.
Today was the day that "gardening season" (and with it, our urban homesteading endeavors) kicked off for the season... with the labyrinth getting its official "Spring Haircut." Which basically means a good mowing, and then trimming around the pavers that mark the paths.
A view through the bare trees... in three months, the ring of lavender with be bright purple
I often consider St. Augustine's words, both when tending to the labyrinth, as well as when I walk its paths.
For that matter, when I walk pretty much anywhere.
It is solved by walking.
I have long been a walker.
The original schematic used for the labyrinth
When I was a "little kid lost" in grade school, I would often walk around in our local woods by myself, just looking at things and thinking about the strangeness of a world that scared me, most of the time. Actually, the world didn't scare me; the people IN it scared me. It scared me that so many people so willingly and eagerly seemed to want to hurt each other.
I just wanted to walk away from it.
During my miserable years of boarding school in the UK, I managed to walk a lot by being part of the school golf team... which gave me a legitimate reason to get away from everything and everyone... and I "felt myself," for a few hours at a time.
I almost made that walking into a career around age 19, when I seriously considered going on the European pro golf tour.
Yes, I was that good. But my dad died and I was "of age" so I spent a couple of years chasing estate and probate legalese instead of walking on golf courses, so that dream died not so long after the man who'd introduced me to the game.
More signs of spring!
Many years later, when I was in my mid-30's, I fell into a deep hole clinically described as "Avoidant Personality Disorder" mixed with agoraphobia... during its deepest phase, there was a period of about four months where I did not leave my apartment at all except around 3:00am to go to the 24-hour grocery, maybe once a week.
I live by myself. I saw no one. I talked to no one. My phone was disconnected.
Walking around the neighborhood in the middle of the night when the city was fast asleep helped me get over my fears of being outside.
Walking — in many ways — healed me when I moved from Texas to Washington state in 2006.
I spent my first six weeks here, living in a converted school bus with my ex, two dogs and four cats, in a campground by the water... and my path to staying sane was walking on the beach.
Which led to my first "job" here of walking on the beach picking up interesting pieces of sea glass, pottery, driftwood, rocks and shells to tell to jewelers and artists around the world.
I was greatly healed by the fact that I got to walk for a living, in a beautiful place... where it was just me and the wind and the sound of the water and seagulls.
Walking became such an intricate part of my life... I once sat down and made an estimate, and worked out (with the help of GPS!) that between October 2006 and spring 2011 I walked about 8,700 miles (14,000km) or so on our local beaches.
What that means in "real life" is the distance from Copenhagen, where I was born, to Cape Town on the very southern tip of Africa! That's a long walk...
More new growth!
And now? Now I walk a labyrinth, which is a meditation and a non-intimidating place to think as I am walking.
I walk because it helps quieten the demons and irrational fears that have followed me relentlessly since I was a small kid. I have no sense of whether those fears were born of nature or nurture, although I did suffer the sort of benign neglect and unreliable parenting that often gives rise to them.
I don't know why it sometimes feel like I will be attacked and persecuted by my own shadow, and it makes no sense as I sit here and type the words and yet the feelings unmistakably arise... the feeling that I am the size of a grain of sand and the world and what it expects of me is the size of a huge boulder.
So I keep walking, putting one foot in front of the other.
And chances are, I have walked further than most...
It is solved by walking.
Thanks for reading, and have a great rest of your week!
How about YOU? Are you familiar with labyrinths? Have you ever tried walking meditations? Have you ever used walking as a tool to walk, think and solve life's difficult conundrums? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
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Created at 20210317 22:12 PDT
0214/1457
AVP = it's called being shy.( my patience for the 'modern touchy feely diagnosis cult' - to put a label every one growing painfully thin..lol)
You were that good at golf? Wow.
My personal best was.....wait for (I'm making it up, because I've forgotten)....was around 108...yeah, seriously.
Full of enthusiasm, but lacking any natural talent - whatsoever.
Yeah, I know. "Labels," and touchy-feely shit!
So, in my mid-30's I suddenly became debilitatingly shy and believed everything and everyone was out to get me, persecute me and hurt me, including the sky above, so I curled up in the fetal position for four months and refused to have anything to do with anyone, anything or anyplace. No drugs, alcohol, other substances or sudden trauma involved. That's the plain language version.
In retrospect, I'm glad I didn't do the pro golf thing. I enjoyed the game... and that would probably have ended once it became work. I wanted to keep that enthusiasm you mention!
That's an interesting one...(no triggger that you can think of..Not even a break up, or having some money stolen - or anything?)
We could use the term "breaking point," and say that I found mine.
A friend who works with PTSD (another "label") and deprogramming people who've been in cults has pointed out that we tend to be very open to look at "Big Tragedies" and give people a hall pass for suffering a breakdown... but we overlook/dismiss the cumulative effect of a very long string of minor negative events.
There's a mathematical precept called "The Law of Truly Large Numbers" which holds that something truly unlikely in fact WILL happen to someone, somewhere.
When I revisit that time in my life — with the wisdom of 20+ years of hindsight — I can see how I played a seemingly endless series of "losing hands" over a 5-6 year period; even the hands that looked good would somehow fall apart due to something completely random outside my control.
That's my most objective explanation.
That makes sense.
I went (more) nuts when my dad was dying, after looking after him for four years.
As soon as the responsibility was taken out of my hands (looked after in a nursing home), and with no one to talk too - I 'went recluse'.
Bought myself a camper and wandered around lost for 6 months ,busy driving everywhere - with nowhere to go.
Then I pulled my shit together - and became a professional semi-hermit!lol
I'm so glad you found your way out of your personal maze to tell us about it. Love the labyrinth! You are a very interesting person.
Thank you. I think I used to be more of a pragmatist than I am these days... more of a spiritual element to my life these days. I think that helped me make peace with the fact that I pretty much suck at most of the practical/functional aspects of life.
Labyrinths are great for problem solving. I need to make one again
They are a great meditation tool, to be sure. I'm a lifetime member of The Labyrinth Society and one of the side effects of the lockdowns is that lots of people have been creating back yard labyrinths over the past year or so.
I am glad you are able to walk like that. I envy you as I can not walk very far or for very long....
Mobility and strong legs can definitely be a blessing... I am grateful for my misspent youth of running cross country and playing golf!
I love your labyrinth ! What a wonderful garden feature.
I never actually thought about the difference in a maze and a labyrinth, but now I know !
I've often wondered myself how some people could do such bad things to other people. I just can't fathom it and yet, it seems to happen all the time. Sad....
A labyrinth in your back yard!!! That's class and i love this:
It looks like a Celtic design to me as well, which I love.
Interesting story about the golf too. Do you still play? I love golf but have not played in 4 months now because of Covid-19.
Congrats on being currated by @curangel and @nikv! I was lucky to be chosen by @curangel as well, so i am taking the time to read and upvote all others chosen to say thanks.
That is a very cool living labyrinth, and I like how you say it told you to build it.
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