I am so sorry for your losses recently. During the holiday season makes the loss even sadder, for me. The world is rejoicing and my heart would wonder how they could rejoice when I am so sad.
I am also sorry in the way that you lost your religion. I cannot believe that any man of the cloth would even think this way. let alone act on it. The shame is on them, although that does little to make anyone feel better. How many people are sucked into a life of religion that is more cult than Jim Jones on steroids?
To me, religion, or spirituality comes from within. Period. If you have it, they can't take it away from you.
Always a good write from your corner.
!tip