Wow! reading that sounded like you wrote my story, only thing I don't wear a suit or a particular clothing or charm.
After being forced by circumstances to speak to an audience of 1500+ college students for the first time 12 years ago, I don't need any amour, I just need to control the butterflies in my stomach and tell myself that the group in front of me is more afraid of me than i of them. When I shoot out a few questions at them, they hide behind each other.
So now I just go there and do my job.
I am still shy and try to hide in the wood works at social gatherings. I am okay with small groups.
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This, then is your motivator to enable you to stand in front of those people and do what's required. We all use different techniques. It seems like you have it all sorted.