Quite frankly I think it’s one’s prerogative what they choose to write about.
Occasionally over the years I’ve heard several different opinions about whether or not one should write about sad events in their life or those not so sunny moments that we all experience.
𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚢 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚖𝚜.
𝚂𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚏𝚏 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚛𝚞𝚒𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎’𝚜 𝚍𝚊𝚢.
𝚆𝚑𝚘 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚐𝚐𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚜?...
are just a few of the comments I have heard.
I remember when I was on Facebook scrolling through my feed, it was all happy jitters of joy and an abundance of sunshine sparkly happiness. It was when I was going through a rough time (during my miscarriage). I wanted to read something real, something I could relate to as a human being with actual pains and hurts.
I couldn’t find anything relatable. Nothing to read about overcoming a hard time or getting through an emotional situation. It was all perfection and gladness.
I’m not saying I was wishing the whole world was suffering like I was but in that moment I wanted to find someone I could talk to. Someone that also needed encouragement and support like I did. Someone who could really feel and relate to my pain so that we could together find ways to cope through it.
I felt the beauty of being human was missing from that platform because everyone was so focused on being the eye of perfection and purity.
Well I for one am not perfect, my thoughts are not always pure, I struggle with my emotions, I don’t always get it right...I’m what you call me.
When I came to this platform I was astounded by how many ladies I met that I could relate to in so many ways. Some I connected with so well that our friendships grew beyond this platform.
How did that come to be?
By reading other’s stories about their life experiences, the good and gorgeous along with the bad and ugly. I finally found others that could relate to what I had went through and because of that we were able to encourage one another.
It was mostly them supporting me as they had already been through what I was going through. They offered me advice on how to cope and taught me ways to move forward. It was very uplifting and helped ease some of that agony I was feeling.
One of the reasons why I like sharing some of my personal struggles is to be a blessing to others. In the process of sharing it helps me as well to release things off my chest and speak them out loud and clear. It’s a healing mechanism.
I share a little about what I’ve been through and how in the end it made me a stronger person by enduring it. I don’t have to share every little detail because everything doesn’t always need to be revealed. I feel I give just enough so whoever is reading can understand where I’m coming from and how it has affected me.
You just never know who may be going through the same thing you went through and may need that ounce of light to shine through, giving them some hope that they too will make it out okay.
The beauty of blogging is you can share as much or as little as you want to share. I’ve been talking lately about writing from your heart so that your readers can get to know you better and really connect with you. One can’t really get to know me or connect with me unless they see both sides of me...the 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕚𝕤 𝕘𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕨𝕖𝕝𝕝 me and the 𝕃𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕙𝕠𝕨 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕀 𝕘𝕠 𝕠𝕟 me.
This is just the way I choose to present myself to you all by showing my talents as well as my flaws. My flaws are apart of my make up and contribute to who I am.
Speaking of flaws, one thing I appreciate seeing here is when people also share the mistakes they make along the way. Sometimes we don’t get it right the first time around, then we try again and again to finally get the results we’ve been aiming for. Those mistakes you share, whether it be on a project, about parenting, health choices, we who read those learn from them.
We learn what not to do or what we can do to get a better outcome. For me seeing how someone keeps trying and not giving up is more motivating than getting something done right the first time. It shows our determination and perseverance. It shows that we are not afraid of failing. The only way we truly fail is when we don’t at least try at all.
I am glad to be apart of a group where I feel comfortable talking about some of the thorns I’ve encountered in my life. If I can’t be myself and share real parts of me I don’t think I would be as committed here as I am. That’s real talk.
I hope I don’t bore you by sharing the real me and I hope I don’t ruin your day but sometimes it’s therapeutic for me to get some of my feelings out about life. I don’t think anyone should feel ashamed for wanting to share a little bit more of who they are or what they face in their real lives.
Your comments and feedback have been apart of my healing throughout the years. Each of you know who you are that have helped me get through some of those rough edges. I appreciate you not judging me but instead just being here lending your ears and giving me sound wisdom according to what you have also went through.
Quite frankly I think it’s one’s prerogative what they choose to write about. If you want to open the shades a little more and share some of your scars and bruises of life and what you have endured so be it :)
I for one will not be bored, have a ruined day or feel bothered by hearing about your troubles. Instead I would hope to offer words of healing and encouragement based on the wisdom I’ve gained.
It’s okay to be human, it’s okay to have flaws, it’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to hurt, it’s okay to be disappointed, it’s okay to admit life is not all perfection because...life is full of unexpecteds.
♥️ ~
Just now found this post, so apologies for being late to the party. I've absolutely used Hive to write about things that have made me sad, and what never ceases to amaze me were the people who read those posts and said, "Yeah, I know what you're going through. Thanks for putting it into words."
This platform has helped me work through some truly awful things, including the violent and unexpected murder of an old friend. Celebrating his life and relating my good memories of him were vital steps in coming to terms with that loss, and the community delivered in spades.
If anything, I think it's more important to talk about the not-so-happy moments. Not necessarily the "I ordered the burger with no pickles and they TOTALLY put pickles on it, and my day is RUINED!" bits, although those can be amusing, but I mean the heavier things we all question and pretend like we don't. The stuff we truly don't have answers for. The problems we cannot solve.
Telling those stories, talking them out, helps us make sense of senseless things. Hive has been a huge boon to me in this regard. Honestly, I wish we saw more of that.
Hey, late or not thanks for coming ;)
This was such good input you shared. I am so glad to hear that Hive played it’s part in helping you get through such a tough time. So sorry to hear about your friend.
I so agree with you. I can’t tell you how many times I honestly felt better after sharing a personal story of what I was going through. Not only just sharing it but by receiving the love and support from the platform afterwards it really really helped me.
Thanks so much for leaving your comment and for the tip too. I really appreciate that. Who knows maybe we’ll start to see more of this as people become comfortable with sharing more :)
On a more serious note, the reality of life isn't portrayed on social medial platforms. How everybody is happy and depict perfection while they die slowly of depression and vulnerability is heartbreaking
That is sad and dramatic. I am nowadays alone (in terms of people), but I am not in depression. I am happy. I live with my bird (a female Harris's hawk). I love her. She loves me. So we love each other. People should find something, which makes them happy and loved.
It's great that you are happy :)
Agreed ~
I agree that on most platforms the reality of life is not portrayed. Not to say happy moments aren’t real, I just think people tend to keep those on display to keep hidden/private the things that are not a pretty sight.
I don’t believe that everyone is depressed. What’s sad is how society has conditioned us through ads and television that we are failures if our lives don’t “look” perfect or if we don’t have things in order. Who ever has everything in order at all times? It’s a lie that some try to live up to but in the midst become discouraged because it’s impossible.
I am just glad to have an outlet like this where I can express myself and get things off my chest. It’s sort of a freeing time for myself. I know I don’t have to pretend I’m perfect and I won’t ever get stressed out from trying to be something I’m not. If more people would break away from these societal pressures I think we would have more “real” happy moments to view :)
Aaaaaaai dear @crosheille (don't you think it's time we met on first name basis ;) you wrote this exactly for me today. I totally agree with you about most platforms being all about the warm and fuzzies. Don't depress me with your sad stories. But it is about being REAL. And what ABBA has shown me it's actually part of our ministry. Look what Revelation says that we will be known "by the word of our testimony" That's how I understand part of why I had to lose my first husband. As horrific as it was. As much as I would NEVER wish to repeat it. I have that understanding and compassion for other widows. That said after our friend's funeral we had to also say goodbye to our Great Dane. Some people would think "it's just a dog" But when our pets are so much part of the family, it's heartbreaking to part with them. Thank you for such an honest and encouraging post
Absolutely it's time! You back on discord yet?
Yes, yes it’s apart of our ministry. Without any trials and tribulations to go through we wouldn’t have any testimonies to share.
That is a lot that you have endured through. We never know at the moment why something is so, but God always knew and He uses those tough times for His glory and for us to learn and grow. Thank you for sharing that with me. ♥️
I’m sorry for both of your losses.
Our pets are apart of our family and it is heartbreaking to lose them.
Thank you for reading. I’m not surprised that you agreed and related to this post ;)
Variety is everything and something crucial for a platform like hive. Just imagine what it would be like if we allowed only happy posts! I think my head would explode because like you said, sometimes I’m in the mood to read darker tales and know that others have problems too. That helps for all sorts of reason, ie you can gain perspective and realise others have it worse or you can reach out and help somebody by offering a comforting word. One other thing about the importance of hive giving a place to vent is that hive has offered me somewhere I feel comfortable to open up due to my relative anonymity on here. If I were to write about my problems on somewhere like Facebook, god forbid, I would feel like I’ve just stood up in the middle of my street and told my neighbours everything about me...urgh!
Yes, this👆🏽 for sure!
Exactly! I love gaining perspective by reading about what others face in their lives.
I feel ya on the anonymity thing. It’s like we can have a voice here without all the added pressure like on other platforms where you’re more out in the open. I really feel this is my home for whatever I feel like talking about at a given moment or day.
Thanks so much for adding your input, it was great :)
Good message you're passing across here, dear. Of course social media should be like real life, and not one sided. Even if the good stories are real, when platforms are devoid of balance it starts to feel fake/unnatural.
Thank you, I felt a little encouragement was needed for those that want to share the not so good but instead shy away from it.
This is why I am not on many social platforms, I can only stand so much fake.
I love a good happy story too but as you said...balance :)
Thanks for sharing your feedback ~
Cool. Thank you too. And thanks so much for the tip😀
I have read some posts here that have definitely made me feel either blessed or not alone.
Of course, I also want to read the happy as much as the sad and the bad.
Is that not life... :D
Sorry about your miscarriage...hugs
Right! Sometimes when I've had a bad day reading happy posts really cheers me up and brings on a sense of hope. I’m with you on liking to read both :)
Thanks for the bugs <3
I appreciate this post so much @crosheille especially after my vent session yesterday, it was extremely therapeutic to get it out and feel heard. I am so sorry about your miscarriage and that you weren't able to find something 'real' and heartfelt about the experience. I once posted something similar to this on FB and the response was sort of "oh cheer the fuck up already" and well it's like the worst thing you can possibly say to someone when they are going through a difficult time.
Being authentic in a world of fakes is what keeps us human.
Have a beautiful day 🌸
Thank you @andrastia. When I was reading your post I was thinking along the way "wow, this fits exactly what I'm talking about in my post". I almost mentioned to you that I was writing this :)
It is so therapeutic to voice what you’re going through and get those emotions out.
Thanks I really appreciate that. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever went through.
Oh my gosh...that is similar to what happened to me on Facebook. Guess I was too real for them there. 🤷🏽♀️
Thanks so much for your comments. I hope you have a wonderful rest of the week ~ ♥️
Saludos! La verdad tienes razón, no veo el por qué no publicar situaciones de "conflicto emocional". Muchas veces eso nos puede hacer ver que no somos los únicos que estamos pasando por ese mal momento, e incluso otras maneras de resolver o procesar la situación, podría servir incluso de terapia emocional, al permitir drenar a través de la publicación. Resulta que es más fácil de asimilar y más estimulante leer que una persona ha podido superar el conflicto, a leer que la persona está en medio de uno, pero no siempre es fácil salir del hueco.
Wow you said some great things here in response. Sharing such challenges does serve as emotional therapy for others. We can learn a lot from one another and as you said even new ways to process our situations that we never thought about.
Thank you again for sharing your feedback on this :)
Me gusto mucho tu post, tristemente usamos las redes para mostrar nuestros momentos felices y nos guardamos los tristes, deberia ser todo lo contrario, ya que los momentos dificil son las cosas que necesitamos sacar de nuestro interior para poder canalizarlas y sanarlas, soy partidaria de no leer cosas tristes, pero a veces como dices buscamos lecturas que nos permitan sentirnos identificados con alguien y no sentir que somos los unicos padeciendo y todo el mundo a nuestro alrededor esta bien, como lo hace parecer las redes sociales
Thank you, I’m glad you liked the read!
Yes, that’s the feel of most social platforms. I agree with what you said about how we should be sharing the opposite in order to get it out and heal. There’s something very sanative about relating to and identifying with others and what they went through.
I appreciate your input ~
I really like this sentence. I think all the posts that are posted are our life diaries. Is sad, happy and others. Sometimes, by writing what we experience on the blog, we can get the best solution to solve a problem. Because we live in this world not alone. We have friends, family. However, some people devote it all by writing and sharing with others on their digital diaries (blogs). Perfection belongs to God. We just try and pray, we can only do the best and most importantly can be of benefit to others, whatever it is.
Life diaries, that's exactly what our posts are like :)
👆🏽 True statement! I really love trying to be of benefit to others as much as possible. I feel that’s partly why I am here, to be a blessing.
I enjoyed your response, thanks so much ~
I don't just post about the good times, but I also want to have a balance between honesty and just airing my dirty laundry in public.
I'm the same way. I like to have that balance ;)
I also try to have a balance between political rants and hobby stuff. I hate ignoring the mess I see in the world around me, but I hate dwelling in the doomscrolling for too long without pointing to things that I enjoy as well.
Thanks for the tip, by the way! I just noticed it in my wallet info.
Yes, I can relate to this.
Sure, you’re welcome :)
What wonderful timing on finding this post! I have had a lot of heavy things to deal with in the last couple of weeks, just on the heels of an amazing birthday and time with family and friends. I logged on to work on writing another post, one that reflects on all of the emotions swirling and life's challenges, and here is a beautifully written piece discussing the very idea of sharing our difficulties and even failures, not just positive themes. Thanks for the encouragement and great read!
Oh wow that's amazing you found this when you did! I'm so glad it could be of encouragement to you. I hope that your writing will be freeing for you and even the responses you get will contribute to your healing and relief :)
Thanks so much for sharing about that with me ~ 🌼
I'm so with you. I usually write about my hardships(not even intentionally, it's just how things flow out) and I often wonder how annoying it must be to some people. But hey, they are also welcome to unfollow me and never see another post from me!
And on the note of being "real". I couldn't agree more. I think it's wonderful to write about how great someone's life is going; how much money they're making; how they found their dream job.. etc.... BUT.. I can't relate to that. It feels so, well, almost dishonest to me. Not dishonest with me, but almost as if the poster isn't being honest with themselves. I see a lot of buried emotions and fake smiles coming through a lot of posts(and no, I'm not just talking about HIVE or anyone specific- I mean in general).
And... it bores me, as well. A few people have made comments recently about my affinity with horror films. Well, I think this ties into that as well. I want to see something real(even if it is over-the-tope "fake"). I want to see emotions. Something that makes me feel. Something so open and in your face about the real issues surrounding the writers/the world.
<3
Hahaha yep! Sometimes when I'm not even planning on mentioning about my hardships they somehow flow out.
I agree. I mentioned in another comment that it’s the way we’ve been conditioned by societal standards of living. Many people try to bury or hide behind the realness because it’s not deemed good enough. So in order to feel good enough all of the pretty (made up or not) is displayed instead of one feeling free to really share what’s really going on in their lives.
I for one would not be able to live that way. I know what you mean when you say an author isn’t being honest with themselves...this is how I would feel if I didn’t allow myself to share my hardships and flaws.
This 👆🏽 exactly!
Thank you for reading and sharing your feedback, it was nice to read :)
No, absolutely not. I don't understand how people do. And so many. But I guess that's how tragedies are also born..
Don't thank me, I meant it! A really great article <3
😊😉
I love reading your sharing, especially this part
We learn what not to do or what we can do to get a better outcome. For me seeing how someone keeps trying and not giving up is more motivating than getting something done right the first time. It shows our determination and perseverance. It shows that we are not afraid of failing. The only way we truly fail is when we don’t at least try at all.I see myself on your post too. Thank you 💚
Hi @babeltrips! Thank you for your comment. I am glad you liked the read and can relate ;)
That's what I like from Hive. So much valuable articles and supportive community 💚
I’ve went through different norms in social media already, from being a platform of communicating with friends to dazzling your profile with the big moments of life. Now, I just go there for memes 😌 and ofc connect with my friends too. But there are still times when i just know i’d open that app and i’d feel a little envious how life seems normal or extravagant for other people.
This platform is a whole different kind of experience for me too. One thing, I’ve always wanted to write blog posts but i didn’t how to start. As I continue writing and sharing about my life too, I became more personal with my posts, hoping someone will get across it and read through it. I’ve loved all those comments and replies too, even though they’re from strangers, somehow I feel like i get more connected with people around the globe. And when i’m lucky i even bump into posts that talk about things i’m interested of, like learning, films, languages, well living life. I never really thought that writing could be this therapeutic, sharing my stories and reading stories of other people too, like yours. 🌞
Hahaha I literally LOLed when you said you now go there for memes! 😄
Oh I had my fair share of seeing so many wonderful and extravagant moments that I too became envious or even questioned my own life in comparison of someone else’s (I really work hard not to do this because my life is my life and we never really know what that other person may truly be going through).
Yes, yes same here. Even though we are from all around the globe there’s still that special connection you feel when sharing. You and I both never knew how therapeutic having a blog could be. Although this is social media I have taken many things from it and have applied them to my life. It has benefited me greatly :)
It’s nice to know there are others who feel the same way. Thanks for taking the time to comment ~ 🌸
Hahaha, yeah. I always get a good laugh from those memes shared by my friends —totally worth the five minute screen time. 😂
I am learning a lot from here too, especially when I read posts about the author's life experiences and thoughts. I enjoyed reading your post, thank you very much for sharing. 🌞
You know that was one of the very first things I loved about you. You were so real and you came blasting on here with a needlework agenda. You homeschooled and you were so family orientated. You were so lovely, but, you weren't perfect, just perfectly wonderful.
You checked all the boxes for me.
When you miscarried, there were so many, myself included that could relate, being in that club that nobody wants to be in. Is your life perfect? Probably not. But, whose is? Are you happy? Heck yes.
I just love watching you from the front row. You are like a breath of fresh air. Thank you for all the blessings your words have brought.
Hahaha I sure did come blasting with my needlework ideas! 😅 You were the first one I mentioned it to and I'll never forget you encouraging me to run with it and look where the NeedleWorkMonday Community is today. It's such an amazing blessing.
I always end with a smile when reading your comments. Thank you for all those sweet things you've said. ☺️
I bet you knew you were one of the ones I was talking about in this post. Your many words of comfort and wisdom and the way you poetically support me is unmatched and greatly appreciated.
I was so grateful that so many of you ladies came forward to share about your stories of miscarriage just to comfort me and show me I wasn’t alone, that you also were in that club, as you stated that no one wants to be in.
I adore you ~ ♥️🌺
I've never said anything that wasn't true. I don't think I could adore you any more than I already do. ❤️
🥰🤗
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