Dear Followers,
Today is my Steemit/Hive 4th year anniversary, sorry I have to credit Steemit here as it's my first love. But it's no use for me now as you guys are here. I even stopped crossposting as I don't see the point anymore. I know it's hard to believe but I just don't stay for the rewards. I stay here for you too.
I've always thought shit-posting is not my thing. I've always thought I put my heart and soul into each and every post over the years. But due to the rewards transparency here, I now think maybe most of my posts are just prolonged shitposts (lol). I did have some not-so-nice posts in the past that upset quite a few people here so I'm so sorry about that! I guess that made me even more unpopular in this community (Not that I want to be Miley), ha! I realized that I can't be totally myself anymore especially if it means a large % of my darkness will be revealed. And 90% of Me is darkness, 10% is sunshine. If only you could see that 10%, it's all that matters to me. Every day, I try my best to be someone who is worthy of love.
Sure I admit that my ability to maintain and establish human connection here is not that great though but I'm grateful for that little but quality engagement/community that I have here. I'm not that tribe-ish uber sociable person online and even in real life (I'm pretty transparent about this in all my posts). Damn, I don't even want to expose more specific details about me than what's necessary (unless I can trust you and you give me a good reason).
I'm sure some of you have followed my story, my little wins, my long journey. All those adventures and misadventures. Rants and grattitudes. Changes in my life and political views. A lot has happened to me and maybe some of you appreciate a different perspective. It is just hard for me to trust anyone, that's all. So if I give you my trust, I trust you not to break it. Because if you break it, it's not only about the end of us. You're also adding up to my thinning ability to trust someone else (ha ha think of all those who will suffer next!). This is not a threat for you to be nice tho. 😈
I appreciate all this positivity feel-good advice and this attempt to change a person you know online overnight. I'm feral. It's so easy for me to let go of people and be detached. Not to belong. I found comfort in this detachment. I found comfort in my strangeness and sadness. I feel safe in these feelings. I have lived my life isolated from human contact and it's very difficult for me to add even just one person to my little pool of trusted friends. Yes, I do have huge trust issues, and probably the reason why I'm still not a popular cheerleader here lol. It makes sense. Why would people support someone they don't really know and wouldn't actively connect with communities due to her diminishing ability over time to have faith in the goodness of mankind?
Don't get me wrong, I'm all responsible for my status here on Hive tho. But I'm grateful for what I've achieved here so far (in terms of rewards and following). I do plan to give back to Hive all these that I've taken out from my wallet someday when I finally got my shit together (I don't know when). I'm just saying, Hive is life-changing. It's just that maybe it's not Me to go out of my way to socialize or belong in these so-called tribes. Or beg for attention from these high profiles just so I can get big upvotes. I'm more like the low-profile peeps here who don't fit in. Who are just simply content with sharing their thoughts and minding their own business. But if you find our posts thought-provoking and inspiring, well thank you for the upvotes and comments. And if you don't, we're still okay here. This is our sacred space for our personal thoughts.
I'm like that rescue animal you are trying to tame. You try to domesticate me and make me belong to your family. But deep down, you know it will take time. But maybe, little by little pet me a little and drop a bit of love here and there. Maybe things will change. And maybe, I will love you back.
Love,
@diabolika
I’m pretty much the same I guess that’s why your posts vibe with me! I don’t like to be social but I do have a big mouth and used to share my rants on medium and them someone told me about steemit and I gave it a shot
I met some cool people over the years and many of them have since left and that’s a bit of a bummer! I stuck around and keep ranting thinking that eventually this place would become something but I think it’s destined to be a little niche community and that fine
I’ve never really sold any of my earnings here either! I guess I was waiting for better prices but it’s never come lol steem at 8 doesn’t seem like TI will happen again but I could be wrong
We all get something out of the platform I guess, it’s been great for me to learn in public debate others and to be sent down various rabbit holes thats for sure
You're were the most fun posts to shoot the shit on man! Still are I think. Info, little comedy and some chill vibes all in one swoop. Got me sold!
lol glad it resonated with a few peeps I have had fun here for sure and it’s helped improve my writing I just feel like it’s getting thrown into a black hole and so few people are seeing it
The engagement is cool but not all commenters are like you
Most just plaster some generic response for an upvote and have hardly read the piece! Not saying I deserve their time just saying the motivation to keep going starts to dry up
Yeah I know man I hear you. I enjoy when people read what I wrote and add some feedback on it. A lot just give the “cool post, I like crypto” type of shit. Sure bruh but read the shit and let me know why “this” coin is going to do things in the future or why you don’t like it. It’s the twitter world we are in, TLDR is obnoxious to me lol
Yeah I think a large % of followers already left so it's just numbers there. I'm also fine Hive just being a little niche community. I mean, who wants to have all kinds of people onboard anyway - like reddit lol. That would be too toxic!
Let's wait and see!
We are all unique people and have our own ways of being. We grow in many ways each day even if we aren’t aware and people will either accept it or not. You can’t change someone, but you can help them change themselves if they are interested in doing it. If you are the way you are and not interested in changing it, let it be and just do what you do to make yourself happy in your own way.
Hive and Steem have been a really big part of my life for the last 3 years. I’ve forgotten to write a 3 year anniversary post, I’m not sure what I would write for it, which is probably why I never did it lol. The people on here are great! There are some assholes like in life but that’s fine, we encounter them regardless but at least on here there are a dozen people that are better than each asshole I think. Keep it light, have fun and let’s see what another year does for us.
It's okay you can still write a 4th year anniversary post lol. I'm pretty sure you'll stick around too as this is a good place to be.
Yeah people here are great! I've had some trolls in the past tho lol because I was posting a lot of triggering shit anyway, I've changed the overall tone of my posts now. I just don't want to attract negativity here.
Thanks for reading my posts. 🙏☺️
Congratulations!
Four years as a blogger on the blockchain is something. Wish you all the best.
Posted Using LeoFinance Beta
Awww thanks ! 😊
Thank you for saying how I often feel and think but can't put into words easily. And don't like writing in the first place. Haha. Yes. I don't like to write at all. I just like making images. I often put all those feelings and thoughts in the photos and a short comment or a bit of music. People don't get it. Or they do and it's not attractive to them lol.
Happy anniversary 😎
I understand! We have our own way to express our thoughts and feelings. I just like to blurt random words here lol or write whatever comes to mind depending on my mood
Awww thanks! ☺️🙏
You are very welcome!
I'm glad you're still on Hive:D
I'm glad you're still here too ! 😊
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Congrats on your hive anniversary. Yeah, we've had our differences, but the place would be much worse without you. Even when I disagree with your opinions at least they give me food for thought - y'know that all important nuance that checks one from collapsing into a self-important fanaticism. Stay diabolika.
Thank @eturnerx ! All my disagreements with some people here are all in the past now. Everyday I'm just trying to improve myself - and be a a bit better person for others somehow.
Felicitaciones yo apenas llevo dos mese y medio.
Gracias! 😊
Your content has been voted as a part of Encouragement program. Keep up the good work!
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