I feel you on this, on every level. I have never been the type of person who has anxiety, yet I find that the older I get the more I feel anxiety dealing with trying to find a balance between being able to enjoy things I love and feeling like part of the problems in the world.
One great example of this, is seafood consumption. I was raised on the coast, and certainly have caught my weight in seafood from the creeks, rivers, inlets, and the Atlantic ocean where I grew up in SC. Seafood is definitely one of my favorite foods...yet I no longer find that I can eat it without guilt and anxiety, except on the rare occasions I can go harvest it on the coast of my childhood home. Thanks to Fukishima I feel like the entire Pacific is full of radiation, there have been oil spills in the Gulf of Mexico so many times it seems like we must just be ingesting petroleum, and then there's the fact that everything has pop's and micro plastics (even in the smallest organisms in the Marrianna Trench), and none of that addresses the very real detriment of commercial fishing globally. For a while I tried being okay with eating commercially farm raised fish and such, but then I learned about those practices and there was no more ability to eat that without anxiety either.
Some days are easier than others, like yesterday. The top headline on the BBC World News was about the big virtual climate change summit that President Biden is holding today, where it is expected the US pledges to huge strides by the end of decade. Or Sunday, when I got to be around an entire group of diverse folks in our region who are all working in our little corners towards sustainable practices as best we can. I remind myself that it is literally impossible to live without causing death ~ just by breathing and eating we take life that we may live, that is the way of nature. And I remind myself that art and life imitate each other, and we may yet find ourselves where we can overcome, adapt, evolve, and triumph over these troubled times in humanity. The grassroots efforts, locally happening around the globe, may yet win the day through conscious awareness and diverse collaborations, to show humankind can work together and accomplish anything when we so choose. I also remind myself that the only thing we are truly risking is our own extinction, which based on my understanding of the Earth's history means there will be room for other types of life forms to be created and sustained in whole new types of ecosystems.
Thanks for not just hitting on the positive ideals that come with Earth Day. Taking a moment to acknowledge the harsh realities, is necessary to keep us solidly focused on what we are up against. The only true constant on Earth is change, and we must look at our surroundings in order to be the change we want to see in the world.
Happy Earth Day today and every day, @riverflows!
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