A stunningly beautiful post, Nate. I was lost in your garden for a while there, thinking of cicadas and the sunlight. I admire how you chose this experience very purposefully as a way to meditate on the problems you see in your life - in our lives - with the intention of recieving an answer. When you start being down on yourself for who you are, it's time to do the work, right? Though I don't subscribe to your God, the divinity in all things suggests abundance, but not the taking of it to the excessive quantities that we do. That's man's inherent problem. I'm so glad you have found a kind of balance in your life. Thanks so much for sharing this with us. I can feel your ease seeping through. Much lotus love.
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It's cool to me how universal that principle of "get right with God" can be. There's no God that will be against nature. So if you don't subscribe, like you said, to the judeo-christian God, there's still room to get right by your own ethical code.
As for the right time to seek these kinds of insights, I can't say yet. I'd been down with these issues for a while. I read into a lot of things going on and ascribed some sort of divine intent:
I think this happened at exactly the perfect time, and I'm grateful that it didn't happen at any point in the last fifteen years. I don't know when it'll happen again, but I'm planting seeds because I know it will.
God is the same everywhere and with everyone. It's just the way we access that energy that is different. xx
I definitely understand what you mean. And that's why I say this principle is accessible to most folks. Most people have a way that they recognize and interact with that energy. I do like your idea, because yes, God is constant and unchanging, and our relationship with God is going to be a personal thing that can change from person to person.