I do not think there is anything wrong at all with wanting someone who has the same level of investment you want, personally I like people that I chat with for hours per day and are super invested into the connection and me, as I am them. The main thing is definitely to understand the reasons you seek that in people who cannot give it to you, which I have definitely done also in the past. We then tend to sacrifice our own desires and needs in a partnership by thinking oh well I need to be 'less needy' or want less to keep them. It really comes down to fear of loss and willing to sacrifice our own happiness to keep someone. Ultimately I do believe what we are seeking is seeking us, I attract much more available partners now that actually want the type of connections I want and if people don't I am much quicker to drop them however strong the connection feels because we are just not compatible in our desires and wants and that isn't going to get less as the relationship progresses it'll just become more obvious we view connections differently.
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This is helpful. I think there is also a component of not feeling worthy that contributes to the perceived inequality of investment--this is a pattern I'm still working on.