Photo by marcos mayer on Unsplash
Being a teacher does not mean just transferring knowledge from the narrow profession you have chosen. Of course, you are primarily employed because of that, no doubt. If you have studied mathematics, and are eager to transfer your knowledge acquired through years of study and practice in that field, your goal will be to teach mathematics. If you have been a history buff, you will continue to pass on knowledge to new generations in that field. If I have chosen piano, I pass on the same knowledge to others. I do what I am good at, I teach piano, not mathematics, chemistry or biology. There is no doubt that you have to be a professional first in your area of what you want to teach.
However, what just happened today, is that I have had a strange lesson. A different one, where not just piano skills were needed. The student who came for her private lesson poured out her soul and troubles and I found myself being her adviser and coach. A shoulder to cry on, in the true sense of the word. I was her silent support as she cried, reminded her sometimes to breathe deeply and when she calmed down she started talking on her own. I listened to her without much intrusion into her words, I know that it is very important to allow people to express themselves and follow their rhythm. Do not interrupt a person who has decided to confide in someone. I was both sorry for her and glad that she was able to express her problems to me. Not that I know her outside of our piano lessons, neither I am a close friend to her parents, although a piano teacher is often felt like a close person after several years of working together. And she’s been studying with me for a few years now, I’m not a stranger to her. She felt safe with me.
Of course, it would not be ethical to say her troubles here. I won't tell her mother either. She asked me later not to reveal the thing, and that will be respected even without asking for it. But what I can say is that looking from a neutral point of view, the supposed trouble that caused the "short circuit" in her is nothing terrible. It's not a problem at all, but that's how she understood it and she didn't know how to see the situation differently. That happens to all of us sometimes, I'm more than sure. Of course, it was terrible for her, and I did not try to diminish the size and importance of her feelings at all, but I pointed out a different view to her. First of all, I let her know to what extent I do understand her. How it is a completely normal reaction that she felt and how I could relate with it. She seemed to achieve the next level of tranquility. Afterward, I pointed out to her the fact that the other side, with which she found herself in an argument, may not have wanted anything bad, but that maybe it was a misunderstanding. That the whole thing came out as a result of not matching the same goals, but they can be cleared out with talk. Of course, to wait for a calm moment when the feelings have cooled down.
She calmed down and at one point she asked are we going to learn to play a new composition today? I was pretty happy to hear that and sure she found some kind of peace. Yes, let us play this piece, and then we are starting with a new one. Focus went to playing, eyes reading notes and fingers following the commands of the mind which notes should be played. Harmony and peace after one page, oh, how cool what music can do. And a teacher-student relationship that doesn't always mean just learning a specific subject. Bach's music just came as a perfect healing sound to that lesson.
Fellow teachers, do you have a similar experience? Do students trust you, do they find support in you? What could I do differently or react in a situation like this?
Sometimes we just need someone to confide in that is unbiased. A teacher who we can trust. I'm so glad she had you to talk to. Perhaps she has no one else she feels safe with to tell her deepest thoughts to. I have @ryzeonline who is my teacher and I know I can tell him anything without fear of him telling others or his judgment. It feels so nice still having that in my life as an adult. I didn't have that as a child or a teenager.
The girl is lucky to have you and you too though. Because you have shown her that she can trust you and that's a beautiful thing.
Much love,
Cyn
Yes, we all need it sometimes, and a teacher can be of help, indeed. Being a piano teacher is even better in means of getting closer with the students. (I have combined individual and small group lessons where 2,3, or 4 students are present). She came disturbed, I immediately saw that something is not ok...she just needed it and anyway, and I am happy I was the person she could open up herself. You have a cool teacher :) Read here and there some of his articles 🙌 ;D
Sounds like your students also have a cool teacher. Some wouldn't care if they noticed the kid bothered. She's blessed to have you in her life.
Much love.
❤️❤️❤️
Thanks so much for your encouraging and lovely words 💝
It sounds like you were the right person for her to confide in. It sounds like you handled the situation well.
Yeah, I hope I handled it well, she calmed down and seemed to find peace. Even she could concentrate on piano playing, which is already an achievement after such a situation for her. Many times students say to me incredible things, I think they dont reveal even to their parents some of those. It is normal actually, as one can be in absolute confidence with the parents or family members, but sometimes it is easier to tell the things to a teacher ;)
Que bueno que hay personas como usted @mipiano, que están allí dispuesto para escuchar , aconsejar y dar una palabra de animo, y que agradable que los alumnos puedan confiar en sus profesores, que bueno que se pudo desahogar contigo , y que tuviste esa sabiduría para entenderla y hablarle , 😊💞 Dios te siga bendiciendo cada día mas ❤
Es una cosa maravillosa cuando podemos encontrar personas de confianza, y de verdad, los profesores somos muchas veces y padres y psicólogos de confianza a los alumnos. Sin duda alguna. Es lo que yo veo en mi interacción con los alumnos, a veces me dicen cosas que pienso que no dicen ni a sus padres. Es una vocación hermosa, ser tutor y profesor. Gracias por leer mi artículo y tu comentario @adrianalara 😇
Not everyone has the right energy to help others and let them confide, it's actually a rare quality! Good job!
Thanks my friend, I am pretty sure you have plenty of that same energy 😇
Any new student on the horizon in your schedule?
I have to admit that I didn't look too much into it, I might just post more ads online! I got all the kids sick this week; again! One of my good friend on hive brought sick child to my home and it contaminated everyone! 😁
We wanted to visit Spain tomorrow, but now I feel the sickness creeping on me, so I say go away sickness!
Oh, no, kids are sick ;( Hahah, who was that friend? You don't have to tell, I suppose who is that guy, but how cool indeed, you can have hive meetups whenever you want, even if that means sick children later... Spain, tomorrow? That would be cool if you can manage it, so I repeat with you the mantra: go away sickness!!!!
It's freaking @rubido 's kid! He got everyone sick again!!! 😁
I think we still doing Spain just for fun! And the "go away sickness" works for real!
Of course but last time it was you spreading the sickness 🤣 it'll all be good for Spain don't you worry👍
Fair enough, true story
My guess was spot on hahaha, for Rubido ;)
Do you remember the echo thing from a few days ago? so I will use it then if it works 🦄
go away sickness
go away sickness
go away sickness
Hahahah you're hilarious
Lovely story!
There's not always logic in who people confide in. I feel like most of my students trust me enough to come to me if somethings wrong but I have this one student who I only thought in one subject last year for one hour a week who seeks me out like three times a week. I don't have that student in any classes this year. Sometimes it just clicks for someone.
Oh, it is a strong connection then if that student can come to you so many times a week. It doesn't matter you don't teach that student this year, sometimes the former teachers just stay in the same trust connection. :)
Beautiful story if somebody trusts you and I am glad that the problem was not so big and you were able to support the student.
Indeed, she just needed to cry that out, to say someone and I think seeing that she was understood by me already made half of the work. The difference how she left the lesson, calm, made my day and inspiration for this article.
Thanks for your comment 😇 see you are from Vienna, I just talked to a friend who lives in the same city ;D what a coincidence!
oh cool, what a coincidence, greetings from Vienna :)
You just shared the experience that colleagues in my school share with me many times a year, asking the similar/same question - did I react ok, what should I do next?
Imo, you did very well, starting with connection that you made with the kid which made her trust you, in the first place.
It is good that was not big problem objectively speaking, meaning neither was about her or someone else.s health or life are in danger.
Main thing that I reply to my colleagues, although I am very glad that kids trust them to ask for help, is that they are taking responsibility on themselves and to be very wary; sometimes kids want us to keep as secret something very serious and that is just not smart/ethical/in line with our position is school.
On the other hand, we also have parents that are coming and telling something that we are obliged to inform other institutions, wanting to keep it a secret, and asking for some favor for their kid.
Yes, it was not a great problem, it was her perception that made her think it was a problem. I really felt for her, I think she found a person that could listen to her and understand her, no judging, no being smart and giving extra mind washing. Although, I gave her my opinion and she seemed to accept it and calm down with seeing the other side of the coin.
Ow, yes, this can also happen, and then a teacher has to act, but for the best of the child. Very responsible tasks we have, apart from teaching the subject!