The ability to apologize is one of the most important skills that children are taught from an early age. Without it, it is impossible to imagine the development of an adult, responsible and self-sufficient personality. But for a child, learning isn't always easy... How can you make the process of instilling the habit of apologizing effective and simple, both for the baby and for you?
What is good and what is bad"?
The foundation of the ability to apologize should be to teach the child simple concepts of what is "good" and what is "bad." A child who understands the difference between these concepts is ready to admit mistakes in the future and apologize. Did you eat all the porridge? Well done, you did the right thing. Didn't you pick up your toys? Too bad, you upset mom and dad. Did you share the gift with your little brother? Marvelous! Did you get into a fight on the playground and break your friend's toy? You can't do this... And although it seems too simplistic, it will become the basis of higher education.
Why doesn't the boy apologize?
The reason is usually one of the following:
- Unaware of his guilt
In a small child, not very rarely is he aware of his guilt, for this reason it is necessary to explain to him what exactly he did wrong. And no reference should be made to phrases from the "You hit him, it hurts" series. Children are by nature very self-centered and do not always perceive other people as independent individuals who have their own desires and feelings. It is more correct to transfer the situation to the child himself, to show him through a clear example how the offended person feels. “Imagine if your other playmate in kindergarten hit you or took a toy from you, and no one stood up for you, how would you feel?” - "Tasting" the emotions of another allows the baby to feel true compassion, to feel how deep the offense was that was delivered.
Fear of censorship:
Children often don't want to apologize because they are afraid. It seems to them that if they admit their mistake, no one will want to deal with them: “After all, I am bad, since I did wrong. And with bad children, as parents say, no one wants to be friends...". That is why they are afraid to say precious words, so as not to provoke a negative development of the situation, not realizing that only apologizing would help direct this situation in a peaceful direction.
- Children are very stubborn.
And even under heavy pressure, they may not want to apologize. How to be here? First, don't scold him, this won't do anything except make the situation worse. Punishments will not help either - they will give a short-term effect, but no more than that, from now on they will no longer make concessions in the conflict situation in which they became guilty. Second, think about the reasons for this behavior.
There are different techniques that we can use to show our children the power of apologizing. We can instill the value of being brave, mature in the face of error situations, this will make them feel great and important when apologizing to others.
Information source.
https://www.solohijos.com/web/como-ayudar-a-un-nino-pequeno-a-pedir-perdon-para-aprender-de-los-errores/
https://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/como-ensenarle-a-tu-hijo-a-disculparse/?lang=es