Over the last couple of years this is something ive definitely been pondering since I had been confronted with a fair few 'spiritual influencers' on social media talking about manifesting your dreams, by law of attraction and never thinking negative, then you can become successful and get your dream job, travel the world and have financial freedom. I found this to be quite problematic not because having money is necessarily bad but that the goal of spiritual success is intertwined with having to have lots of money.
I find this kind of mindset really dangerous, since there are people on the ground who are doing work, that leaves them working pay check to pay check but they are doing something that greatly benefits society or other people...so they are not successful spiritually or financially?
Self help, entrepreneurship and hustle culture has been exponentially on the rise since the pandemic. and on the whole i think its great people want to better themselves but there is definitely a toxic side where people start over working themselves and getting sick mentally and physically to try an obtain something that can take years, decades and life times to achieve but hoping they can do it much faster because that's the dream they've been sold
Further more people may end chasing dreams that isn't exactly beneficial for their soul and spiritual success in this lifetime. I too used to be in this state of thinking especially around the time I finished school and went to university, I really felt I had to achieve, be known and recognized for my talents and get a really good job. However whilst in the university a series of events started to beat me down.
Whilst in my first year, I was setting up an exhibition for a Uni project, during the stressful weekend of having to bring the whole event together, my granddad was also visiting from up north, he came down to London with the train. My dad asked me to go and pick him up at the meeting point, I could feel something was very wrong on the way to the station, when I arrived he was nowhere to be seen, I was asking around, the train station was very busy, so I stood on something to give me height, since I'm a 5ft 3 woman. It was then that I saw my grandfather being pulled out on a stretcher, I chased after the paramedics, who told me to get in the ambulance, he had a heart attack getting off the train, after an hour of resuscitation, they told us he was basically gone. I'm from a small family, and he was the first of my family to pass away. Due to my work commitments at uni I did not feel I was given time to grieve and this had a knock on effect for me for months and years after. I also had to work really hard to pay my high London rent prices whilst at uni so I was working 2-3 jobs. By doing this I made myself physically sick, to the point I was hospitalized, I was told I could of died, if I had left the problem much longer because I had got blood poisoning. I had to have an operation and it was the first time I had been given morphine and went under general anesthetic, I remember coming out of the operation and feeling like I had just died and been resurrected, It was a strange feeling and after the drugs wore off I felt terrible. I had to have my open surgical wound heal and close naturally which meant I could not work for weeks and I had to have a nurse visit me a few days to help me clean my wound.
I could finally rest, I read a lot and went into a kind of dream space, although not totally aware something had changed in me. I didn't feel motivated to work or achieve in the same way anymore. The veil had been broken, I began to resent and hate the university I attended. I didn't take it seriously anymore and I realized a bunch of the tutors were narcissists. I basically stopped turning up as much and started to prioritize exploring the unseen and spiritual part of my life again, mainly through escapism, dancing, music and drugs, especially trippy drugs. It was all the programming that I had experienced through education was being decoded. I started to think more philosophical thoughts about life and ask the big questions again.
During my time at university the financial crisis happened and when I left there were basically no jobs in the creative industry. I did a few running jobs for TV productions, but I resented the long hours. I decided to take my friend up on an offer to live in their spare room for free and moved to a city I never been before, I took a part time job as a waitress, which gave me plenty of time to work on my interests. I had time to draw, paint, read, party, do extra courses and whatever I felt happy but I noticed that after years of working in retail shops and restaurants something was wrong with my posture. This is when I started to take up the practice of kundalini yoga, whilst doing this not only did I feel a vast improvement in my body but I began to activate my chakras and pineal gland, I became more self aware and I started to fully transition from a part time vegetarian into a full time local organic food vegan. I started to get into astrology again, a little obsession I had as a child was learning about the signs. These things I had been taught as being silly, an non scientific began to have some credibility to me.
What I find particularly interesting is that the astrological ages and the north node of the moon that represents our collective soul future direction moves anti clockwise through the zodiac as everything else travels clockwise. Its as if our future destiny is something that goes against us, or we have to go against the grain to pursue it. I do feel like the spiritual quest feels a bit like this. It would be easier to follow trends and go with the flow of everyone else but when I do this, I feel restless and unhappy. There is a lot of shadowy energy that's in the collective and this keeps people trapped and not able to pursue what their soul intends for them. The highest expression of the Age of Aquarius would be a society of sovereign individuals who come together as equals to achieve a common goal, with no obvious leaders. It would be decentralised but interconnected. The low expression would be Authoritarianism - demanding conformity from the group or society, driven by unconscious fears. This can lead to fanaticism and the rise of assorted despots & dictators intent on changing the world.
So I think as spiritual people who have arrived here in this great time of change, we are here to pioneer the future age and what we want it to look like for future generations, success is being able to establish what your passions and strengths are and go out into the world, to educate, heal, protect and bring forward the higher expression of the age of Aquarius.
Let me know in the comments if you agree with this and what this looks like to you….
hey! thanks for sharing this story.. very deep.. and so many wise words too..
i agree i agree! <3