The sense of entitlement is why gratitude is subconsciously underplayed by so many people. We live in a world where people hardly show gratitude simply because they expected more, or they underestimate the efforts and intent of those who has made attempts to be good to them. One thing is, so many people are good at counting scores and figures, they live the kind of lives where they're used to being offered things without even asking for it. This might be because of their status, their looks or the whatever position they find themselves in life.
One of the things people do to downplay the efforts of others is to measure the impact of the these efforts by their own standards rather than being objective and weighing the efforts, the degree or the extent of sacrifices of these other people by what it has actually cost them. So many people fail to understand the meaning of a sacrifice. A sacrifice is what is lost in order to make something happen. A person who failed to attained graduation to be with their sick partner or parent is a sacrifice, now while this might seem not to matter, we might never know what that graduation might mean to the person who missed it.
I came from an extended family that was typical indifferent, both from my maternal and paternal side. The joy of being loved was something I never felt. I grew up with the mindset that life's harsh, and it was difficult for others to give off little of themselves to make you whole. Due to this, it was utterly difficult for me to expect anything from anyone. Deep down, I bore no animosity for anyone, the cruelty in my family made me feel that out there wasn't going to be any better and this made me grew a thick skin.
This didn't mean that I never needed anyone, I did, there are circumstance where we are at the last breathe of survival, and we just need someone to pull us off that quagmire, but in a situation where you believe that no one will come even in your darkness moment and loneliest travails, you're not disappointed in humanity, rather your numb and subconsciously independent, even if you shouldn't be.
Imagine expecting nothing from life, but you get something freely without having to think of paying back. This is the borderline of gratitude. A sense of gratitude can stem from a place of hopelessness. There are time when we begin to wish for the smallest difference, a bit of ripple to rock the boat and automatically change our direction, we seem to make pledges to be better people when get the opportunity to leave ground zero.
Almost everyone has been in that place where they have accepted the verdict of fate, made peace with the pain and anguish of life, only for things to happen differently at the last minute. Gratitude is born unexpectedly, especially when people are conscious to the impact made by others in making things happen differently for them. However, why do some people show gratitude, while some do not? This is because of being conscious and choosing to be indifferent.
Sometimes in life, people who are recipients of good wills becomes too accustomed to being fortunate, making them measure the efforts of people in their lives. Some people have never been in that position where the smallest of gesture will melt their heart and this makes it difficult for them to show gratitude when necessary. Nevertheless, gratitude is an aspect of life that should remind us of our humanity.
To me, The intent of an action is bigger than the action itself. I've had many people over the years who were good to me, even if they'd totally forgotten everything, deep down in my heart I still feel like everything I get to accomplish in life, or every door I couldn't open but did due to their sacrifices and even the times I survived. I feel that I'm indebted to them all the way. Now gratitude doesn't have to have a gratifying intent, sometimes it's meant to plant a subconscious seed within us that goodwill is supposed to be cyclical.
Not everyone who has been good to us, requires us to be good to them, but holding these people at the back of our mind, allowing their gestures remain evergreen within us, is a way to honor their sacrifices even if we cannot measure the extent to which they went. Another thing is, there are times we stop receiving the goodwill of people due to circumstances we cannot place our fingers on, this shouldn't erase the times when these people were there for us.
There are thing that are prevalent in life and that's the fact that people replaces good memories with bad ones rather than bask in the good memories even when unpleasant events are happening. Gratitude goes beyond the physical, sometimes we're in a difficult place and we ourselves we understand that it's only a divine intervention that we've scaled through. Even when we cannot be verbally grateful, let it resonate in our actions, in our mentality, let it showcase in our selfless quest to others even in the most difficult situations.
Interested in some more of my works?
A Personal View Into The Meaning Of Spirituality (ecoTrain QOTW)
Why You Couldn't Create Good Contents In 2021, Why You Still Wouldn't In 2022.
A Psychoanalytic Dive Into Incentivized Loyalty
The Nigerian/African Disposition On Marriage As An Endowment
Living & Living Unintentionally (The Financial Repercussion)
@Josediccus, your brother-in-pen & heart
I'm hoping to reach more people who are broken at heart and spirit, so share on any platform or reblog
I think it has to do with the media and their negatively focused agendas. When people are down and sad, they tend to be easier to control. Being happy and grateful makes people strong. Good stuff man.
You're right, being happy makes people strong, I've experience, this surge, where one tends to be too focused on external noise from the media. Thanks a lot for dropping by.
You are indeed right, although I am not from an extended family but got the same experience from both parents and family members, and even up till now, I feel if they give it's because they are willing to give not because they are indebted to me.
Gratitude is a character or should I say personality one has to learn to adapt to if he or she is willing to live life to the fullest, so I believe. Although many times, I have seen myself questioning God without being grateful and it is a result of trying to compare myself with my peers or friends when I am supposed to be grateful for the things he has done.
Regardless of our bad, some days can be, it shouldn't stop us from being grateful to those who have helped in their little way and to God.
This got me laughing, I have been on that shoe, I guess that is more reason I tend to be grateful for my life.
I love this article.
Beautiful comment. In the nutshell, we should be subconsciously grateful, even if we don't verbally express it quite well.
We're humans, at one point in time, we question God, I do that a lot as well. This is because of some overwhelming predicaments in my life lately and not because of comparison of my peers and all that. I guess it can vary.
Thank you for coming through. Your comment is thrilling.
Just like you explained, forgetting where we were and how we left that place can play a big role in entitlement and expectations. Just imagine someone who lived from hand to mouth suddenly making it big only to forget who he was? Big disaster. And this only happens if the person has been corrupted menatally or morally. Which is something I hope doesn't happen to me.
Holding unto the smallest deeds of others for us can prove really difficult to maintain. But this is totally necessary if we don't want to end up passing off as ungrateful. Well, we can't possibly remember the smallest things but we can always look back and say I wouldn't be here if not for...
By the way, the Discord name you gave me kept saying incorrect...😩
Well, in reality, you've totally stated that being corrupt morally can actually make people ungrateful. Forgetting their humble beginning and choosing to be different people entirely, I've experienced this a lot. It takes constant reckoning and the grace of God to actually maintain this state. Money changes people, people to the extend that the forget the seamless sacrifice of others for them. The world is full of ungrateful people and sometimes I wouldn't totally blame them. Not choosing to be conscious to the actions of others is another reason for ungratefulness. I'm definitely sure you won't get to that stage.
As for the discord, it's actually correct, maybe it's the way you imputed the search. Give me yours let me add you
deraaa#4794
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Go Stake get some more PIMP power.
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Some people find it difficult to return gratitude and thinks what the other person did is normal. We have to understand that it takes sacrifice for one to actually help another fellow and it would make such a person happy when the person he or she helped has come to show appreciation. No man owe us anything, but we should show gratitude even if such assistance is small, it actually is the greatest. Thanks for sharing a wonderful topic.
