I know a lot of people who have spent their entire lives with the sole purpose of making their kids happy. They never did anything for themselves. Never took any holidays or days off.
Just so that they could provide good education to their children.
And their children! Grew up to be horrible people.
Always complaining. Always holding their parents responsible for their failures.
These kids would usually hang around in a bad company. And would not even try to make their life better.
Also, I have seen people who had nothing. Couldn't even give proper education to their kids. Neither opportunities nor any handouts. And they grew up to be most grateful to their parents.
Always thanking them for the values they provided. For their love and support.
When I was a kid, and even till the last few years, I used to question why poor people have kids. Why?
When they could not raise them properly. They don't have enough resources to survive on their own. Most of them could never provide their children proper education, or any opportunity to grow in life.
So, why would they want to bring another human in this world only to suffer.
Why poor and war torn countries should continue to have kids. When they know that there is no future in their country.
I used to believe that only rich people should have kids. The people who have sorted their money problems should have kids.
But this belief also felt apart. When I looked closely at the life of some of spoiled rich kids life.
So, this question was going on in my mind for a long time.
Then after some soul searching, a lot of reading and asking questions. I realized, that the external factors does not matter at all.
It does not matter whether you have enough money to raise your kids or not. Because you do not know everything about your future.
Poor people can turn their life around. There are more than enough anecdotes of that.
Rich people could lose everything. Their business. Their money. Their status. All of it could end one day.
And life would be really difficult if you were once rich and now poor( I have gone through it, and still going). You will get frustrated each day.
It doesn't matter if the conditions of your country are bad. You could get an opportunity to move on to a different country. Or policies of your country could change.
I imagine, life would be really difficult for my grandfather and great grandfather. India was under british rule. After Independence, half a dozen wars were fought with neighbour countries. Poverty. Famine, economic failures and no one knows how many more problems they faced during their time.
Still, they got through it. If they had lost hope, and asked themselves, what good is having kids in this messed up world, I would not be around writing this post today.
I think the only factor that matters while deciding to have kids or not is asking yourself would you want to be with your better half for the rest of your life. And go through thick and thin. Would you want an opportunity to raise better humans in this world.
I think people should not have kids when their life is too messed up. And they want kids for the society. For the social pressure of being normal. To belong.
Or to save their marriage. Or just to pass on their lineage/properties. When they are always busy making more money.
Usually, these are cases when people don't care much. And they end up raising messed up people.
If you are sure that you can raise good humans, that's the only question that should matter.
Bro, Specially after covid.
So many kids lost both their parents.
Makes more sense to adopt kids than produce more.
Yo, still around?
Not really being blogging bro.
I just saw a discord notification saying looftee posted something.
I thought I'll come by and read :P
Lol, how does that work. Discord notification. Anyways. Good to see you. Hope you are doing good in life.
I'm good bro. Hope you're well?
So there is this discord bot called Gina which notifies when you're friends post on Hive.
I had added sid and you in the notification list.
Did you hear from Sid?
Nope...He might be dead from corona virus. That's what people are saying.😓
What? Who said so?
I haven't heard from him since October 2020.
I always assumed he recovered.
Hope he is fine. He is such a great guy!
We don't even know his real name to find out.
I don't usually share my DM's, but making an exception.
This was the last update he gave me regarding covid
Overpopulation and lack of resources is a serious issue that doesn't receive enough attention. Not having kids isn't an option. I wouldn't even be certain switching to just adoption would be. Yes, we need high rates of adoption and I, for one, would rather adopt a child than have my own.
However, if you look at China and Japan, you see coming problems with a lack of replacement. Just not having kids leads an inverted population pyramid (link). China, after years of a one child policy, is relaxing the policy to try and offset the same trend. Last I looked, the replacement rate was 2.1. That means, to maintain a steady population people should have no more than 2 children.
The solution is tricky. China tried to mandate it, and we'll see how that works. Japan, as a modern career-driven society is naturally declining. People want to prioritize their lives and careers over children and now Japan could soon be without a labor force. I also saw something about declining fertility rates, so it could be that we'll have an actual Handmaiden's Tale situation and everything will sort itself out.
The poverty issue is tricky. It's two-fold. On one hand, you have lack of education that may result in inadequate use or misunderstanding of birth control. You could have religious reasons for not having birth control (eye roll). But another simple explanation is that areas with high fertility rates usually mean couples have more kids because...well you never know if you'll still have the first few in a year. In countries without adequate social support for elderly populations (care homes, medicare, etc.), then having more kids in insurance that you won't be living in squalor at 75 years old.
It's one of those difficult issues where no simple solution will prevail. I.e., just not having kids won't help, but adopting is certainly a step in the right direction.