I believe that one of the biggest awareness discovered through seven years of counseling at one time in my life, was the learned behaviors of parents. Some of us who have experienced childhood traumas are left in emotional bewilderment of why our parents did horrendous things despite even knowing the stories they told but not correlating their abuse to why they abused you. It seems like an obvious simple deduction but for whatever reason it escapes you. Those revelations really turn the tide in how you viewed what your parents did to you. It's not that they hated you, demised you, wish you were never born, or whatever answers you were looking for to explain it, it was taught behaviors from their own parents who inflicted the same pains upon them. My mom she was a denier of all the things she did, I could move past that but my brothers never could. They would at times cause a lot of conflict between themselves over it. She'd call crying they said this or that, and they'd call saying they got her upset because she denied doing the stuff she did. After years of that going on I finally said to her, tell them you are sorry, once you do that, I'll stand behind you, because that's all you can do at this point, otherwise you'll keep calling here and getting just as mad at me for agreeing with them and hang up, and on the other hand, I'll tell them you apologized, that's the best that can be done and you have to move on. Amazingly it worked.
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That never admitting to reality is a real hard one to heal from.
Dealing with narcissists or borderlines, you never get a straight answer. It is all gaslighting. Even on their death bed, or yours. You will never get closure.
That said, most people aren't evil geniuses. They are just following the script stuck in their heads. And never think on it. No self reflection. Especially in these areas.
And i hope she stays apologetic, and doesn't take it back, or use it to bait and switch.