Good evening, fellow babies! Welcome to the inaugural edition of The Love Doctor, where I answer any and all questions related to the topics of love you may have. You have questions; through my multitude of successful relationships I have all the answers you will ever need, fellow babies! Sit back, relax, and let me tell you what it's all about.
Today's topic: First Dates
I know, absolutely know, that all you youngsters out there have this burning question on your mind: "Doctor, please tell me, Doctor!, what should I do and expect on a first date?"
You have come to the right place, young grasshopper! First dates are one of the trickiest pieces of inter-personal relationship mazes to try and make your way through. Now, there are probably a couple things on your mind already, like, "Is it okay to try to expect the horizontal mambo" or "should I dress in my Sunday finest and get a reservation at the highest end restaurant I can afford"?
The answer to both is a resounding no! The horizontal mambo? Really? Who even speaks like that anymore. C'mon, baby, just say it for what it is. "Can I make love to my date on a first date?"
The answer is still a resounding no! Just, no. Frankly, not even a second date. Or a third.
And your Sunday best? C'mon, little person! Your date will see right through that for the farce that it is. You'll be seen for lacking any and all substance and just looking to make a show and impress where it isn't due. Listen to the Love Doctor, here, for a far, far better idea for a first date:
Mud Wrestling
Now, you might be thinking to yourself... "What? Mud wrestling?? Doctor, how can that be so?" And I say to you, fellow baby, that not only is mud wrestling is where it's at, it is the ideal first date. Nothing will tell you more about your potential partner than a good roll in the mud and has everything that a good first date should have:
Mud wrestling is very modest. Both you and your date will be well covered in mud and show no unnecessary skin.
You will learn a lot about your date while mud wrestling. Is your date smiling in the pit? That's great! They know that they want to have fun and how to have it. Do they look a little timid and perhaps standoffish? That's fine too; they'll be better suited for tag-team mud wrestling where you can take the lead.
There is no love-making in the mud pit, so there is no worry about either party trying to "go too far."
You'll learn very quickly just what type of person your date and potential partner is. Are they the grabby type? Or are they interested in outright winning at all costs? This is good knowledge to have!
Now, location might be a question, as there seems to be a frightening dearth of public mud wrestling pits in most communities. Never fear! A back yard after a good rain could work. This might even be a good time to spread some soil for some reseeding! The intrepid among you might even take the opportunity to open your own public mud wrestling pit! Who knows, this first date could lead to a long term successful business partnership!
And there you have it, fellow babies, the doctors sage advice for a first date is a good mud wrestling night. If you're lucky, your date will even then ask for a third to join in.
Send any and all questions of love you might have to The Love Doctor, and I'll be sure to get them answered in the order they're received.
(c) All images and photographs, unless otherwise specified, are created and owned by me.
(c) Victor Wiebe
About Me
Sometimes photographer. Wannabe author. Game designer. Nerd.
General all around problem-solver and creative type.
Creator of What I Learned Today Hive community: https://peakd.com/c/hive-131257/created
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I still remember. It was in 2007. I was in the middle school. I dated one of my classmates. I truly loved her. But it turned out over time that this love was one-sided. She only played with me. A few years later, a new guy came to the class, and she suddenly started to be with him. They even kissed. She have not done that to me. Not even once. The weird thing is that she watched me on the banquet, as if she would expect something from me. And shortly after we finished middle school in 2012, she was with another guy.
I finished the middle school as a private student because of the bullying from others. Sometimes I wish that I should have been in a different middle school. Not because of the bullying, but because of the one-sided love. That she only played with me. This still hurts even today.
If the love is one-sided, then someone is in huge pain.
I am trying to forget her. To get her out of my head. So far unsuccessfully.
Thinking about this, probably there are millions of people in the same/similar shoes as me.
I wish true and mutual love from everyone. No one deserves to suffer from one-sided love.
Have a nice day. All the best. Greetings and much love from Hungary.
Middle school is difficult for a lot of people; it's a hard time in life. You are correct, everyone deserves love. If you haven't found it yet, I'm sure you will.
Sweet Jesus! Ménage à trois?
Not likely. 😮
What does one wear to a mud wrestling date?
Hahahaha. Truthfully, I'm impressed that you read that far down.
😂 Hahahaha
I've mud wrestled, but on a first date? Wow, that would be epic as a starting point. Especially if she grabby and touchy feely 😜
So much more interesting than your normal first dates of going to a park or the zoo!
😂 Hahahaha... Yupp
Mud wrestle it is with dirty butthugs
Mud wrestling huh? C'mon baby...really? 😝 But as weird as it sounds, I see some sense in it lol
This falls into the "Don't knock it until you try it" category, perhaps. 😂
Hmm.. mudwrestling! TG I am married.. too old for that now. But... I will keep this idea handy for when my kid wants to go on the first date ahahaha. 😆
Oh yes! I'm full of
awesomeideas! I'm sure there will be more to come. 😁Hahaha, great idea, I like it. I hope I get to use it!
!LUV
@stdd(1/1) gave you LUV.
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Haha, I am so glad that I am way beyond my first date and I don't need your advice:)
I have an entire grab bag just overflowing with ideas. Undoubtedly one of them will intrigue you. Or just make you shiver and slowly back away from the computer. 😂
Dear doctor is it ok to request a mud fight to your docter ?
The Doctor will always partake in his own medicine!
Oh and a third party my god I would die trying , and siting with mud in my face nooooo can do 😂😂😂