[en][es] Between childbirth and death / Entre el parto y la muerte

in Ladies of Hive3 years ago

ana-barriga.jpg
Photo by /Foto por @manuphotos


Hello dear friends, today before starting another of my stories, I would like to thank the platform and its readers for giving me back the inspiration that I thought had died long ago.
This story is an experience of mine that happened to me with my little Samuel before I brought him into the world and I know that many of you will feel identified again.

It is the moment of childbirth, that which only we mothers experience and no one else imagines that it can be felt.

The day of the pain came, it started around 12 am when I was sleeping with my husband. My hair stood on end because I started with a slight pain. Hours passed and the pain and my thoughts a thousand per minute became more acute. Around 4 am I arrived at the hospital, the doctors decided to send me home because they said that I was not ready yet and I told myself: they will know what I feel and how I feel. I clearly became very tense and under protest went back to the house. Not even 2 hours passed and I couldn't take it anymore, we ran again, this time if he wasn't going to come back. I said goodbye to my love and my family and they took me up to pre-delivery.

I can't describe how I felt, I had a mixture of fear, pain and a bad feeling invaded my mind. "I'm strong" I told myself and kept going. I was alone in the room, the pain was unstoppable, I remember not having eaten anything since the day before and the vomiting was beyond normal. I gradually weakened, I felt my face go numb and a hand could not move it. The doctors took me to check to see how much I had dilated, but for more suffering it had only been 5 cm. I begin to despair, my crying consumes me, no one can hold my hand, not tell me "It's not long".." Everything will be fine".

I remember the pale pink gown I was wearing, I made it very dirty and I also remember how the doctors made fun of me while they told me to behave myself, that it seemed unbelievable my age and having had a previous delivery increased the teasing. Only a young woman, still a student, helped me to continue. I held her hand and told her "I can't take it anymore" .."Help me" .."I don't want to misbehave", all this was between tears, I never imagined feeling so little, so fragile, so little girl. No one understood me (not even because they were women).

At 9:00 pm, having lost all my energy, I managed to get them into the room. It was full of serum. I pushed hard and nothing, again and nothing. After several unsuccessful attempts, the doctor decided that my delivery should be instrumented.

My child was "crowned", my prince, my love. When loading it I died of happiness, I had it with me. Those little hands so small, so fragile, that little face so beautiful gave me life back. The doctor murmured "We almost lost her" and yes, I almost died in the process but it was gratifying to give life to the most important being in my life "My son Samuel".

Today I feel much better thanks to my family, husband and my daughter Sophia. My baby is about to turn 10 months old and it goes without saying how happy I am to have him with me. All births are not the same, neither the pain, nor the thoughts and it is sad to see how the same women mistreat us without knowing what it feels like at that moment.

I call for unity among ourselves, compassion and love for your profession.
I hope you have a nice day. A huge hug from Havana, Cuba.

Spanish Version

Hola queridas amigas, hoy antes de comenzar con otra de mis historias quisiera agradecer a la plataforma y a sus lectores por devolverme la inspiración que pensé que había muerto hace tiempo.
Esta historia es una vivencia mía que me ocurrió con mi pequeño Samuel antes de traerlo al mundo y se que muchas de ustedes se sentirán nuevamente identificadas.

Es el momento del parto, ese que solo nosotras las madres vivimos y nadie más imagina que se puede sentir.

El día del dolor llegó, comenzó sobre las 12 am cuando dormía con mi esposo. Se me pusieron los pelos de punta pues comencé con un ligero dolor. Pasaron las horas y se agudizaba más el dolor y mis pensamientos a mil por minuto. Sobre las 4 am llegué al hospital, los médicos decidieron enviarme a casa pues decían que yo no estaba preparada aún y me dije: que sabrán ellos lo que siento y como lo siento. Claramente me puse muy tensa y bajo protesta regresé a la casa. No pasaron ni 2 horas y ya no aguantaba más, corrimos de nuevo, esta vez si no iba a regresar. Me despedí de mi amor y mi familia y me subieron a preparto.

No puedo describirles como me sentía, tenía una mezcla de miedo, dolor y un mal presentimiento invadía mi mente. "Soy fuerte" me dije y seguí adelante. Estaba sola en la habitación, los dolores eran imparables, recuerdo no haber comido nada desde el día anterior y los vómitos superaron lo normal. Me fui debilitando poco a poco, sentí entumecerse mi cara y una mano no podía moverla. Los médicos me llevaron a revisar a ver a cuánto había dilatado, pero para más sufrimiento sólo habían sido 5 cm. Me comienzo a desesperar, mi llanto me consume, nadie puede sujetar mi mano, no decirme "Falta poco".." Todo va a salir bien".

Recuerdo la bata rosa pálida que tenía puesta, la ensucié muchísimo y también recuerdo cómo se burlaban de mí las doctoras mientras me decían que me portara bien, que parecía mentira la edad que tenía y haber tenido un parto anterior incrementó las burlas. Solo una joven, estudiante aún ,me ayudó a seguir. Le aguantaba su mano y le decía" no puedo más" .."Ayúdame" .."Yo no me quiero portar mal", todo esto fue entre lágrimas, jamás imaginé sentirme tan poca cosa, tan frágil, tan niña. Nadie me entendía (ni porque eran mujeres).

A las 9:00 pm tras haber perdido toda mi energía logré que me entraran al salón. Estaba llena de sueros. Pujé fuerte y nada, otra vez y nada. Tras varios intentos sin lograrlo el doctor decidió que fuera instrumentado mi parto.

Mi niño estaba "coronado", mi príncipe, mi amor. Al cargarlo morí de felicidad, lo tenía conmigo. Esas manitas tan pequeñas, tan frágiles, esa carita tan hermosa me devolvió la vida. El médico murmuró" Por poco la perdemos" y sí, por poco me muero en el proceso pero fue gratificante darle la vida al ser más importante de mi vida "Mi hijo Samuel".

A día de hoy me encuentro mucho mejor gracias a mi familia, esposo y mi niña Sophia. Mi bebé está próximo a cumplir sus 10 meses y de más está decir lo feliz que estoy de tenerlo conmigo. Todos los partos no son iguales, ni el dolor, ni los pensamientos y es triste ver como las mismas mujeres nos maltratan sin saber lo que se siente en ese momento.

Hago un llamado a la unidad entre nosotras mismas, a la compasión y al amor a tu profesión.
Espero tengan un lindo día. Un abrazo inmenso desde La Habana, Cuba.

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