I wish I could think of a cleverer title for this post. I wish I knew what my love language was without having to do the test. I swear I've done this test three times at least. It's usually a close call between quality time and physical touch (though anyone who knows me personally will tell you physical touch wins out by miles). I'm a very handsy person, which makes it really fortunate I'm not a man. Not that you don't get into trouble as a girl. When I was younger, I never could figure out why guys were coming onto me, what it all meant. Touching. Other people's warmth. Sometimes I think I still don't.
Why just five? I think the answer depends on when you're asking, though generally, things like acts of service will always score very low. Which leads me more into relationships in general. I value my autonomy almost as much as I appreciate being heard. I need to be able to do things on my own and know it won't threaten nobody.
I need to know that my words matter, otherwise I won't feel like you love me at all.
These are things that are important to me in love. In any relationship. There's very few things someone can do that will hurt me more than not listening to me, disregarding my opinion and feeling as whim is something I don't care for. I'm not saying I need to be off-putting, just independent. I have a hard time remembering where I end and others begin, sometimes, so trying to swallow me up whole feels frightening. Overbearing. Past mes have wished that the people loved would open their mouths a little less. Would know to not take me whole, that it's more than I can afford to give them.
Love languages. How do you say I love you? I love hanging out and touching people, sure. But if I had to pick my own answer, I'd inevitably say through music. I shouldn't have missed out on the mix-tape generation, that's all I'll say.
It's just... sharing music has always been this semi-sacred space to me. I know people who show you songs just because they like 'em, but it's never been able to mean nothing to me. It's so intimate. All the people I love best are people I can share music with. I don't know where my music taste would be if it hadn't been for love.
It should be books. For a writer. Shouldn't it? It should be saying "here's a story that shook me", and occasionally it is, but it never means the same thing. It's never a way of saying "I'm thinking of you".
Music has always been my slow autumn. My everything carries me to you moment.
It's quite easy. When you're in love, everything carries you to that person, so suddenly all songs sound kinda like him, and you've become this terrible toady little spammer in their inbox. All you can do is hope they won't mind.
Touch. Meaningful time. I've forgotten the others. Saying I love you. I suppose that's words of affection. Does that matter? I think, frankly, we make too much of a fuss. It's obviously important, and I'm definitely a sayer, but there's all this pressure in relationships (mostly from media, I suppose) on saying. I remember distinctly being in my boyfriend's shower after I'd said it the very first time, feeling simply awful that he hadn't said it back. I was so young. I didn't understand all this life he'd had before me, that the words didn't mean so much at all, that in the end, it would be him getting his heart broken so much worse than I. But then, that's the miracle of living where we are, not where we'll end up being.
I love you. How do you say it? Desperately, feverishly, on every streetlamp and graffitied wall. When it matters. Me? Through music, almost always.
I've tried in my own way to answer this week's Ladies of Hive prompts, posed by the wonderful @trucklife-family. I don't know how well I've done that. They do it better in poems and songs. But yeah.
How do you say I love you?
I already told that in the past I liked a Hive girl who was from a different country. I made 4 art pieces in which I used her photos as an outline. I also already imagined moving to her country. At one point I just told her something like this: ,my interest in you is a sexual/ romantic one. I asked for your discord because I really want to date you. If you can't match my fire I can only wish you a happy life and go my way. But if you are willing to give this long distance thing a shot let me know.
Another time a girl wrote me happy birthday. I invited her to skate on ice(?). She thought that I meant with a group of friends. I said that I wanted to meet with just her...
Another time I said to my former classmate to have a dinner with me. She asked why I want to have dinner with her and I told her that because I think she is hot.
I think you get my point. I flirt/ say I love you very badly/ straightforward. I have no game and I have no interest in playing this complex thing called romance...
Myeah, ladies aren't too keen on the old direct approach (usually). I think we generally appreciate being eased into it. I'm not a fan of playing games either, but it's sometimes worth making the effort or playing a little as it helps you meet some interesting people, I think. I think (hope) there's a difference between playing games just for the sake of being "a player" and testing to see if you have things in common with a person. The latter is highly worthwhile, so my advice would be keep trying. It's worth it. :)
If you ever visit Lithuania I would like to go on a dinner/ have drinks together. I am I doing it wrong again?😉
Amicably, if I'm ever in Lithuania, sure. But from a romantic perspective, if I may a hint, it's too brusque and we don't have enough in common to warrant a date ;)
You have such an interesting way of writing. It's inspired to write my take on some of the things you have written. To write a response as long as your post would be silly xD So I will make it less complex but this is a topic i feel a lot of people have thoughts on. i thought my love language was different and i feel it has changed when i was with my ex husband i thought it was words but i think it was because i wasnt connected with him like I should have been and it seems I am physical touch. I can't get enough of it.
Cool! If you do, make sure to enter it into the Ladies of Hive contest! :D
I really liked how you shared your personal thoughts on love and how it connects to your experiences. The way you express affection, especially through music, shows how deeply you feel about it. Music is a beautiful way to express love, and it really shows that love can be shared in many different ways.
What better way to express the language of love than music, as you say, share it with the people you love, I identify with that: when you are in love, everything takes you to that person, all the songs sound like him, I love it, thanks for sharing your experiences,
!LADY
!PIZZA
View or trade
LOHtokens.@cautiva-30, you successfully shared 0.0100 LOH with @honeydue and you earned 0.0100 LOH as tips. (6/11 calls)
Use !LADY command to share LOH! More details available in this post.
$PIZZA slices delivered:
(6/10) @cautiva-30 tipped @honeydue
View or trade
LOHtokens.@honeydue, You have received 1.0000 LOH for posting in Ladies of Hive. We believe that you should be rewarded for the time and effort spent in creating articles. The goal is to encourage token holders to accumulate and hodl LOH tokens over a long period of time.
!LADY
View or trade
LOHtokens.@hive-124452, you successfully shared 0.0100 LOH with @honeydue and you earned 0.0100 LOH as tips. (2/25 calls)
Use !LADY command to share LOH! More details available in this post.
You answered it wonderfully @honeydue, touch is so important to me and definitely music. Music is so moving and so is love, they go hand in hand for me. I like to express my love through music, by sharing it, listening to it together. xxx