I've lived for two decades and all this while I've learned, unlearned, and relearned a whole lot of things. I've gained lots of experience, both good and bad. I've been used, I've used people, I've been let down, I've let people down. All these lessons have shaped me into who I am today. If I'm to have a tete a tete with my younger self, my advice would be;
Learn to be bothered about things: I don't know if that should be the right words but I guess my explanation would do better. So normally, I'm this kind of unbothered and nonchalant person. For instance, when I find out someone I used to be close to suddenly stops being close to me, I feel so indifferent about it. I won't make efforts to reach out to the person, to find out if I did something. I'd just keep ignoring them and after a while, the friendship will dwindle. However, over time, I noticed I've lost genuine friends due to this. Cos most times I annoy them and they'll be expecting me to reach out and offer an explanation but I just don't. At the end of the day, they'll get tired of waiting and assume I don't want them in my space anymore. I noticed I've lost friends who I could have kept by just communicating and being more concerned.
Your studies comes first: If I could turn back the hands of time to my first year, I definitely would. I never put a lot of efforts into my studies and that made me an average student. From my first year, I let other things distract me from school work. I hardly read my books, I just made do with lecturers' explanations which were never enough. This affected my grades so badly that at this stage I'm putting in extra work so I'd be able to graduate with a good cumulative. If I'd advise my younger self I’d tell her how expensive and important education is and why she should prioritize it above every other thing. Coming out of college as the best-graduating student is difficult but achievable. One just needs to pay extra attention to academic work.
Learn a skill, have a source of income: Life in uni is no jokes. The expenses are just a whole lot and oftentimes, allowance from parents isn't always enough. Having a side source of income is the best thing that could ever happen to a uni student. I'd advise my younger self to learn a virtual skill cos she’d never regret it.
Cherish every moment with family: Family comes first, always. Growing up, I often had squabbles with my sisters and oftentimes I'd shut everyone out and just be on my own. However, being in uni and away from home, I've come to realize how much I miss home and my sisters. I miss the noise, the quarrels, the scolding. I miss those little acts that would remind me how much my sisters love me. I miss everything. At some point I regret not spending more time with my siblings, not maximizing the bonds. These days, everyone is busy with life and we all come home occasionally and even then, we spend little time together.
Be Strong: It is difficult for weak people to survive. As I grew older and interacted with people, I got used, betrayed and backstabbed. I know nights when lay on my bed and cry my eyes out. I felt so bad. I felt worthless. I hated the fact that I couldn't stand up for myself during those periods. I gave people the chance to see how weak I was and they took advantage of it. If I could talk to my younger self, I’d teach her how to stand up for herself, how to make her voice heard and how to make sure people respect her as a person and also her opinion.
I made lots of mistakes growing up and I've had lots of experience. If I had a chance to talk to my younger self, I'd make sure she doesn't repeat my mistakes and she makes the right choices.
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Well, this kind of attitude more or less everybody has and I think it's just a careless attitude. Yes, your example or the way you described it is intense and we should feel empathy and a little bit kind to others but because of circumstances, sometimes we become careless and thoughtless...
😂, hahaha I guess we all were more or less disliked books...
Well, it's very important to stay strong especially emotionally, and love your family. I guess we all faced difficulties especially when we were teenagers to deal with family but in the end, we all love our family...
Thank you for such thoughtful insights and writing... Good luck...
Thank you so much.
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