Whether I am dealing with my partner, my family, my friends, or my co-workers, maintaining boundaries is vital. In fact, it will even help in strengthening relationships and avoiding unhealthy connections.
I have had some experiences in the past that weren't great, and that made me have some personal boundaries relating to people. It's never a bad thing to set healthy boundaries but rather helps in balancing relationships.
For instance, I was with one of my girlfriends the other day at a social event, and suddenly, she said, Nkem, holding my phone already, "let me quickly check something on your phone". Before I could say a word, she snatched my phone from my hands and ran a bit far from where I was seated and was opening whatever she was curious to find out from my phone. That was a boundary she crossed! I stood up and went through her back, took away my phone from her forcefully with a stern warning never to intrude into my privacy.I didn't care how she felt because her attitude was uncalled for.
I had to place a physical restriction on that even when we reconciled, and since then, she never tried it. Oh…I didn't tell you that when I took away my phone from her, she was on a conversation I had with my husband, really…that was my privacy, and I didn't take it lightly with her seeing that she read my conversation with my husband. She used to be my close friend, and I liked her, but then setting boundaries was important because some people lack manners or, better say, overdo things in the name of over-familiarity.
On the other hand, I had a friend who was hospitalized for months. One day she requested that I visit her husband and help cook for him as he doesn't like eating out, and then I should have the food preserved in her freezer. Oh no! Why me again?! Of course I declined such a request without giving it a second thought. Boundaries are important to avoid unhealthy connections. I have my own husband, and I don't see it right going to someone else's husband's house to cook for him, no matter how close we are as friends. I understand that she was very sick, but then I also saw the need to maintain my boundary regardless.
Like I mentioned above, I have experienced lots of issues concerning setting boundaries, and I know it's very important no matter the kind of relationship involved. One of my coworkers, a guy, when I was still in my 9-to-5 job, usually greeted us by hugging, but I politely told him that I preferred a handshake instead. At first he hugged me , and I didn't find it comfortable, so what I did was talk it over with him without hurting him, and we were good afterwards.
Overall, some personal boundaries that I feel are important to uphold in a relationship are material boundaries; no matter how close we are, you don't take my materials to use without asking me for that to receive a yes or no. Physical, communication, and emotional boundaries are also very personal to me, which I uphold very well for a healthy relationship.
Talking about my feelings around independence and togetherness in a relationship, I see both elements as very vital for someone who is intentional about maintaining a healthy relationship. For instance, I love it when my husband respects my goals and dreams in life without interfering negatively; the same thing is applicable to me about him. If we maintain boundaries without interfering with each other's goals in life , then my personal growth is certain, and I will be fulfilled; however, the boundary shouldn't restrict the connection we have; instead, we should keep working together, which will in turn improve our intimacy and connections. Well, I know that finding a balance between independence and togetherness might be difficult, but it's doable.
Feel free to share your thoughts about this subject in the comment section.
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!LADYSetting boundaries is so important, and it sounds like you handled those situations really well, @nkemakonam89 . It's never easy to confront friends when they cross a line, but sometimes it's necessary to maintain healthy relationships. Your privacy with your phone and your conversation with your husband is something that should be respected. And as for cooking for your friend's husband—yeah, that's definitely a boundary worth keeping. It's all about balancing respect for others with respect for yourself. Kudos to you for knowing where to draw the line!
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Yea, it's never easy to confront friends especially the ones we love dearly because of the fear of losing the person, however boundaries are ingredients for a healthy relationship..also the manner of approach matters.
I.love this 👌👌
Thanks so much for your thoughtful feedback sis 🥰
Some friends can really overstep their boundaries, snatching your phone and trying to read your conversation with your husband; it's great you told her never to try such a thing.
My dear...I was surprised to her actions...over curiosity led her into that but I had to help her reboot her brain again ..lol
Hahaha, you did well😍
What? She was reading a conversation between you and your husband? Oh that’s so extreme and that restriction was very needed because what’s this?
My dear...I knew she was up to something but I tried to stay alert with her games and ensure she didn't succeed
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In the case of the first incident, I think I would not mind if my friend took my mobile from me as I know that nobody can access any of my social media accounts without a password. Almost all the applications are locked. I think the call and camera feature can only be accessed by others.
In the case of the second incident, you shared about it once. I think your friend's husband should need to know how to cook if he can't eat food from outside. Your friend's husband is not a baby who can't practice cooking.
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I was actively using my phone then and the phone wasn't locked, that's why she could access it .
Yea...I guess the way I declined their request was a wake up call for them to look for alternatives
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I can still remember that your friend suggested you to go their home and cook for her husband which was not a safe. I really think how your friend asked for such a thing.
It's unthinkable
Lol
I agree with you, boundaries are important to maintain healthy connections, including with those closest to you and yes, it is possible to find the balance between independence and bonding with loved ones, thank you for sharing your experiences,
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Yea, maintaining boundaries are important for everyone around us...
Thanks for your feedback
They are much appreciated
An interesting content
Thank you
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Thank you sis
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STOPThanks for the update buzzy
Thanks for the curation
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I am very happy to hear that you stood up to your friends that were clearly overstepping your boundaries. It's so important to maintain them. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences with us @nkemakonam89 xx