Should I not rather treasure my life and that of my child instead of staying in a toxic environment? Is it not better to overlook what people will say and save my sanity, which is the most vital? Let's get into the topic properly.
Nowadays, premarital sex is rampant among young people. What if you got pregnant and encountered rude in-laws with a partner who was incapable of standing by himself or standing up for you? Would you rather endure their maltreatment or walk out of your relationship and raise your child alone? Why?
When I was growing up, I faced a lot of pressure from men. On two occasions, I was nearly raped, but I escaped. My grandmother, who raised me, was always on my mind, reminding me to guide my body jealously and not give in to the desire of my flesh or succumb to the pressure of men out there. This woman acted like a monitoring spirit over my life, to the point that talking to guys scares me. I always feel that she is right there beside me, watching my movements. At a point, I became so uncomfortable with her level of restrictions on guys, and she explained her reasons for doing so and gave me the implications of premarital sex, and that sounded like a fixed reminder on my brain every day. I think her approach helped me stay away from premarital sex, even though she was so strict to the point that her actions affected my social life.
So to answer the question above, it's sad to see how young people today are involved in premarital sex, even though the reasons are not far-fetched. But for whatever reason I got pregnant along the line and encountered rude in-laws plus an incapable husband who cannot stand for me and my child, it's total nonsense. The combination doesn't add up at all, and walking away shouldn't even be a negotiation.
Why?
Because staying in a toxic environment will definitely affect my mental health, which should be jealously protected. Secondly, no matter my mistake of getting pregnant before marriage, I already have a life to care for (my child), the life I brought into this world, which is my responsibility. It doesn't matter if the father of the child cares for or protects us; it's my duty to protect my child. What will I be doing in an environment where my in-laws, who are supposed to support me with the pregnancy, show rudeness instead? I am currently a married mom of three, and I can tell you that every pregnant mom needs both emotional and physical support, and where it can't be found, it's usually difficult for the peggy mom to thrive well.
There is nothing as beautiful as having in-laws who love you and accept you as one of their family members. Sadly, some in-laws can be mean to new additions to their families, which is bad, coupled with a husband who can't even stand for the wife. It's unhealthy and an unwise decision to manage such relationships. However, we get to choose what we want in life; nobody else can decide for us; after all, life is a choice.
I know of a lady who managed such an unhealthy relationship because of her cultural beliefs, and she has remained an unhappy and unfilled woman till date. Her life got shattered; there was no peace of mind from the husband nor from the in-laws, and she lacked the courage to face her family because she thought that she had disappointed them by getting pregnant in the first place. She aspired to become a medical practitioner but ended up as a punching bag in her husband's house. What a life!
I also know it may be difficult for a lady to raise a child alone, but it's better than living in a house full of demons. What will then become of the child when he or she is surrounded by bad people? Of course the child's life will be influenced negatively.
I believe that every woman has a purpose in life. With or without a man, it's great that we discover ourselves, pursue our dreams, and be fulfilled. Getting pregnant is not a death sentence, and shouldn't be the reason for shutting down our dreams and aspirations in life. It may be easier said than done, but the best is to boldly walk away from the unhealthy relationship for your good and the good of your child, facing your dreams and aspiring for a better future.
This is my response to the ladies of the hive community contest #173
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This is nice piece. No woman deserve to live in a toxic place with her children. It is better to leave and be at peace than to stay only to live miserably.
My dear oo...it might be a hard decision but the best
Premarital sex is the deal of the day among young people today, funny enough no matter how loud you preach against it, only those who have a God fearing heart would adhere.
Grand ma, was a savior, the world need more of them. See how i am wishing she was my grandma too.
Being a man, I don't know why the word pregnancy has been scaring me since I started reading this😂😂 it is well.
Walking away from a toxic home is the safest thing for any pregnant woman to do, else should would end up with high blood pressure.
This is why it is advisable to stay far away from anything that would lead to an unplanned marriage, atleast if it's something legal, you would have the luxury of time to study the man and his family, and if you know you can't cope, then you leave but when it comes upon you suddenly, it takes only the grace of God to scale through.
What many women don't know is marriage is not a do or die affair, if it's killing you, better leave and take care of your child or children, you would survive it. My mom sponsored all of us in school, feed us and provide all our basic needs and she didn't die. Though she is still at my father's house.
For the issue of getting rid of the baby, that's wrong, pregnancy is not a death sentence like you said, since it has already happened, bear your cross, you will cope. It will also pass. Who knows, the child might even be the one to bring you liberation
Haha, she can be a grandma for all..if distance permits 🤗
Pregnancy scaring you? Haha.embrace the pregnancy because u can't escape it unless you want to be a rev. Father..lolz
Staying away from premarital sex is the best for young ladies but when mistakes happen, it's good to seek for nice environment.. meaning taking a walk.away from unhealthy relationship no matter what
I think I'll go with the reverend father option 😂😂 just joking though, with time, I know will get used to it.
I would have been very happy to have her as my granny too but distance..
That's true, mistake can happen sometimes and the best way to survive with the baby is to seek a better environment like you said..
And this is why we promote that women have dreams, aspire to be great for themselves and make sure to have something doing that earns them money.
With that in place, any woman would be more courageous to take the bold step of taking care of her child without the help of irresponsible partner and in-laws.
I totally agree with your thought on the topic momma, thanks for sharing.
!LADY
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Exactly merit, enough of thinking that without a man , we can't survive
Right now even though I am in marriage, I prepare my mind on "what if"...
I wouldn't want anyone to maltreat me when I can afford the kind of lifestyle I want for my kids and I
I really your feedback
Hope you are good?
I have missed you my able whale merit, her whalenesss, lolz 😂
Yes o, very important to plan ahead to avoid such things happening.
My momma, nysc camp after my life o 😂
Hehehe, your sister told me yesterday
I hope those soldiers are not drilling out your water and blood, haha 😂
They've not started yet but I feel drilled already 😂
Oh no! Haha 😆😂
You will tell the story last last
You go hear am , haha 😂
Absolutely, having supportive and loving in-laws can be incredibly enriching. However, dealing with toxic dynamics within the family, especially when compounded by a spouse's lack of support, is undoubtedly challenging. Making choices that prioritize our well-being and happiness is essential, as ultimately, we are the architects of our own lives.
Yea, I have great in-laws and I love the way they pamper me. I also know how unhealthy it is for my friend who has terrible in-laws..not a pleasant experience at all
I don't want to deal with a partner who can't stand for me even when the in-laws stand against me e
Yea, we design our lives the way we want it
Thanks for your nice comment
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If there is toxicity and rejection in relationships then relationship can not work. Toxicity consumes our mental capacity and cognitive abilities. Moreover, it detains our mental health. It's wise decision to go away from toxic environment.
Exactly, we won't be able to think well again..it's that bad and thus deliberate action is needed
!LADY
Much appreciated 👍
Exactly, not only the environment will be harmful to you but raising a child in the same environment can not end well learning only poor behavior. ❤️
Indeed sis...this is why taking a walk is the best decision if the person has the interest of the child at heart
!LADY
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Thanks for the curation
We are strong and we can do anything !! I'm agree with you, our mental health is important also the enviroment can affect the mental health of the child as well !!
Exactly... and when our mental health is affected, it becomes another problem
Thanks for visiting
I really appreciate
I did enjoy your piece
And I have really learnt lot
Glad you like it😍
Sad enough, premaritalsex has now become a norm, though sometimes I feel it's ignorance because if they truly know, getting involve in it will be a shame for them. However, it is better to walk away in any toxic relationship than stay because number one, the child is at risk growing in such a family and you as a mother, your Mental health matters too.
The best thing that will happen to young ladies is to flee from premarital sex
It will save a lot of stress 😌
Exactly
Staying in a toxic environment will not only affect the mother but on the long run it will start to affect the child. That's why it's best to walk away.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.
#dreemerforlife
You got it babe... and this is where women empowerment comes in
If you have your own money, you can take certain decisions without looking back