Wearing my most comfortable clothes and a facade thank you smile, I don't know how to welcome 18.
Its thought is too overwhelming it's sucking me into my own void with no remorse. It's not a renewal nor an another year to look forward but a dead start. I feel like I'm back at being young again rather than feel a little bit old. If this is birthday blues, then I do not want any of it. It makes me sick to the bones, to my innermost, down to my screaming soul.
It never occured to me until now—so this is how it feels like, to see the world you once perceived colorful becomes dull. I heard them differently now: the once cheerful birthday songs I enjoyed have become noise that prickles my skin and cringe me down to my spine. I see colors different to then: all the pastels and rainbows have become black, blue, gray, and bloody red strands of emotions swirling around wherever I i go blinding my sight.
18 isn't supposed to be this way of feeling mere nothingness and nothing more. no words can't describe how it slowly envelopes my heart. It's too early, I am only a day old of my 18th existence. I never wished to be this fearful, pressured, stuffed with expectations, and suffocated with future responsibilities. I just wanted to be free and be myself, allowing me to embrace maturity by my own, following the flow of my river.
18 should be a new beginning, if not nice then it should not be too dark that I could not get up when I falter.
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An aspirant writer and artist. To be found is my greatest dream and never be lost. Hi, I am @rene.neverfound, you can call me Rene or Esme if you like. I specialized in prose-poetry and poetry, and now I am trying new things and writing styles. I am a 17-year-old girl living life in the Shrine City of the Philippines.
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I am a total bookworm who loves to read mangas and novels with particularly Fantasy, Action, Sci-fi, Mystery, Adventure genres because I love the feeling of the rushing adrenaline and thrill. I am as well an otaku that loves to watch genres which were aforementioned. I am a music enthusiast and a grade 12 student with an undying passion on everything I do. I am still making up my mind what to course should I take in college in these top three choices: 1) BS in Psychology, 2) Veterinary Science, 3) BS in Nursing.
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Thank you so much for the patience and for reading!
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is your birthday today? happy birthday bes <3
yesterday, cronuss. but thankk youu
what's your fb po addd kitaaa
do u have a discord acc or other sns accounts where i can message u?
i inly have fb for now since doon lahat ang academics communication kooo
add meeee. im still using my old writing account (cronus arthfael-heartlocke current name)
Happy birthday, Renee! Hmm, so sorry if you feel a bit blue on turning 18. I wish you find that sunshine soon! All the best!
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thank you so muchhh, jijiii. it's nothing to be sorry about huhuhu. thank you so much for the well wishes as well!!! mwaa!
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18 brings back a lot of memories of personal turmoil, I didn't make good decisions back then which compounded my personal issues. I survived.
aww, hugs for you as well @kerrislravenhill . btw i love your username!
Happy birthday to you .Feel it the way you do.
thank you so much @amayphin ❤️❤️❤️
Happy Birthday to you .
thank you so much!
Happy 18th !LADY :) It seems you are quite anxious :) Breath in and out and enjoy the moments. You'll get through whatever you might be feeling :)
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thank you so much @ifarmgirl . i really appreciate your message, it's just that the past weeks have been testing me and pushing me to the edge of the cliff always, and everything was kinda hard. thank you for the greetings!
You're welcome and hang in there :) Don't allow things to push you down :) Hope you're feeling better today?
never stop fighting for your dreams. It is always good to fight and give your point of view. In the name of women, always give your voice of joy and art...
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thank you so much, @daimar07 ! i really appreciate your message for me. indeed, it is always a matter of point of view.
The important thing is to respect other people's points of view.
Happy Birthday, @rene.neverfound !
May all your dreams come true!
Sometimes it's just us who are trapping ourselves in something that we can freely escape. I hope you're not this person.
And I hope you can find your escape soon, @rene.neverfound. You're still young and I really want you to enjoy your life~
Happy birthday!
thank you so much ate @wittyzell . im pretty fine now and wrote my new blog about something like what you're saying to me (i find it amusing kasi coincidence sobra since ngayon ko lang nabasa ang comment mo rito.) thank you so much for the greetings po and for cheering me up! tbh, the past weeks were tough talaga na palagi na lang akong nasa edge of the cliff
Napaaga siguro ung quarterlife crisis mo @rene.neverfound but yeah at some point in our lives, we'll have this crisis talaga. I've been into one and na overcome ko naman sya na, but sometimes, it will trigger pa rin or panibagong crisis na naman. 🙂 But hey, as one always say to me, #TomorrowIsTheGoal we wake up to a brand new morning hoping things will be different from yesterday kaya laban lang ghurl!
Breathe!
You'll be fine.
You're probably over thinking things.
Just relax. Everything will be fine.
You'll be fine.
Happy 18th birthday!
thank you so much for the nice words and for the greetings, @cheeamaka, indeed i overthought that bad for real.