ESP
Desde la primera persona del singular
Una de las preguntas más recurrentes que las personas me hacen cuando saben que practico telas aéreas es que seguramente se me hace más fácil por ser delgada. Esas personas seguramente pensarán que lo que expresan con sus palabras es que soy afortunada por ser delgada y que eso me facilita muchas cosas, pero lo que no saben es que, por el contrario, aprender a aceptar mi cuerpo delgado ha sido una dura batalla durante toda mi vida. No es fácil conseguir ropa de mi talla, no es fácil tener que explicar que no sufro ningún desorden alimenticio, como tampoco es fácil (pero sí agotador) explicar que todos sus "secretos y trucos" para ganar peso ya los he intendado hasta la saciedad pero simplemente no funcionan. Y antes de que te formules la pregunta mientras lees esto, me anticiparé respondiendo: sí, he ido al médico. Solo soy así. Y me he preguntado muchas veces "¿por qué?" pero a veces las respuestas, por muy científicas o clínicas que sean, no ayudan a calmar esa incertidumbre, a veces ingrata hacia uno mismo, que te hace preguntarte "¿por qué?".
Desde que empecé a hacer telas aéreas, he aprendido a "aceptarme más". Hay días en los que me despierto, me veo al espejo y me siento espectacular. Otros días, simplemente no me quiero ni mirar al espejo ni que nadie me mire. Es difícil cuando mi pareja trata de subirme el ánimo diciéndome todo lo que le gusta de mi, tanto externo como interno pero simplemente no le puedo creer, es difícil ver todo ese amor que alguien quiere impregnar en ti y sentir que simplemente no le puedes creer; y no porque no confíes en sus palabras, sino porque no confías en ti, no confías en el hecho de que en verdad alguien pueda ver en ti todo lo que dice. También me he topado con comentarios que intentan "hacerme sentir mejor" con palabras como: "yo era así de flaca como tú, o bueno, no tan flaca", "te ves muy bien así, pero si subieras unos cuantos kilos te verías mejor". Como si el espejo no me gritara eso día a día.
Estas fotos me gustaron porque fueron tomada en uno de esos días donde los ánimos no son los mejores, pero antes de quedarme en casa con la compañía de ellos, preferí salir y subirme a la tela. Estas figuras fueron sumamente difíciles de explorar, pues no sabía como entrar a la postura y salir de ellas, hasta que lo descifré. Y el resultado fueron las fotos que les estoy compartiendo a continuación. Me dejaron unas marcas en el brazo por unos días, pues esto es algo con lo que hay que lidiar cuando se practica esta disciplina o cualquier otra; las bailarinas de ballet pueden decirles lo mismo. Pero además de gustarme porque fue un resultado positivo de un día que no empezó como tal, es porque me demostré a mi misma que aunque sea muy pequeña, puedo hacer grandes cosas.
Espero que les gusten las fotografías. Las fotos fueron tomadas con mi Redmi 10, por mi pareja y entrenador,a quien ya he mencionado en mis dos publicaciones anteriores.
ENG
From the first person singular
One of the most recurrent questions that people ask me when they know that I practice aerial silks is that surely it is easier for me because I am thin. Those people will surely think that what they are expressing with their words is that I am lucky to be thin and that it makes many things easier for me, but what they don't know is that, on the contrary, learning to accept my thin body has been a hard battle throughout my life. It's not easy to get clothes in my size, it's not easy to have to explain that I don't suffer from any eating disorder, just as it's not easy (but exhausting) to explain that all their "secrets and tricks" to gain weight I've already tried them ad nauseam but they just don't work. And before you ask yourself the question as you read this, I'll preempt by answering: yes, I've been to the doctor. I'm just like that. And I've asked myself many times "why?" but sometimes the answers, no matter how scientific or clinical, don't help to calm that uncertainty, sometimes ungrateful to oneself, that makes you wonder "why?".
Since I started practicing aerial silks, I have learned to "accept myself more". There are days when I wake up, look in the mirror and feel spectacular. Other days, I just don't even want to look in the mirror or have anyone look at me. It is difficult when my partner tries to cheer me up by telling me everything he likes about me, both externally and internally but I simply cannot believe him, it is difficult to see all that love that someone wants to impregnate in you and feel that you simply cannot believe him; and not because you do not trust his words, but because you do not trust yourself, you do not trust the fact that someone can really see in you everything he says. I have also come across comments that try to "make me feel better" with words like: "I was that skinny like you, or well, not that skinny", "you look great like that, but if you gained a few pounds you would look better". As if the mirror wasn't shouting that at me day after day.
I liked these photos because they were taken on one of those days when the mood is not the best, but rather than stay at home with the company of them, I preferred to go out and get on the silks. These figures were extremely difficult to explore, because I didn't know how to get into the pose and get out of them, until I figured it out. And the result was the photos I am sharing with you below. They left some marks on my arm for a few days, as this is something you have to deal with when practicing this discipline or any other; ballet dancers can tell.
But besides liking it because it was a positive result of a day that didn't start out as such, it's because I proved to myself that even though I'm very small, I can do great things.
I hope you like the pictures. They were taken with my Redmi 10, by my partner and trainer, whom I have already mentioned in my two previous posts.
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I can understand what you are trying to explain I am also thin and it’s difficult to find my sizes clothes always have to customise them! Such a hard working person you are I appreciate your hard work! Keep doing what you love to do 😇
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