TRANSLATION:
Hello welcome!
Today I want to touch on a topic of much debate especially in these times where it has become quite common that many women and even couples decide not to have children.
We have on one side those who support him completely for multiple reasons and on the other side those of "should be" who insists that "THE MATERNAL INSTINCT" will wake up at any moment and it will not be too late.
Does the maternal instinct exist? What do you guys think?
MY EXPERIENCE
I started dreaming of being a mom while in college, she was about 20 years old and had a fairly stable relationship (I thought that, but that's another story).
Being a responsible girl, with defined dreams and the desire to improve myself, I visited my gynecologist to start family planning, here begins the sad story of wanting to be a mother at 24 being already graduated and not being able, between polycystic ovaries and hormonal problems, although they seemed simple matters to correct was a long and endless road, between a thousand medical advice (sexual positions, hormonal treatments, contraceptives in turn, it seemed an endless cycle) and a hundred thousand popular advice (take infusion of this, preparations of that and the most unfair and difficult of all RELAX).
Time passed, I graduated, my friends started to marry and have children and me. The first to plan for when?
"Ajam, cap and gown level completed, and the other matter as for when?"
Well, for me being a mother was an almost frustrated dream (I promise you that you will know the rest of the story and how I ended up not with one, but with two children).
The issue today is that I particularly had that desire to be a mother, to feel that little creature inside me, seeing her grow was part of my wish list but, would it be that my maternal instinct woke up or that had nothing to do with me. dream?
WHAT WE COMMON KNOW
"Women were born to be mothers, the maternal instinct is in us that is why we are so overprotective and dedicated."
"All women want to be moms, it's an instinct."
"Women were born to be mothers, otherwise you will feel that you are missing something in life"
"You will never feel fulfilled as a woman"
These are some of the phrases we often hear about girls who decide that they do not want to have children, as far as I am concerned, all far from reality, although there are things that do differentiate us from men, before becoming women We are "Individuals" with individualized personalities and patterns. Not all of us are overprotective, not all of us are dedicated, and as we have seen lately, not all of us want to be mothers.
Mundo TKM is an opinion magazine with many topics and dedicated a section to the 15 most common phrases, you can read them here
WHAT DOES SCIENCE SAY?
Various studies have revealed that the maternal instinct does exist, but guess what,
It is not typical of women.
It has nothing to do with wanting to be a mother.
Yes, just as you read it, they have carried out tests in other species in which the maternal instinct also develops in males and it is that beyond being an instinct, this whole issue has to do with a hormone, nothing more and nothing less than the called "love hormone" oxytocin plays an extremely important role in all this, so it is very likely that women who became pregnant without looking for it after delivery develop a maternal instinct, due to the high amount of oxytocin in the body necessary for contractions uterine and the whole process.
But NO, the maternal instinct is not something that makes you want to be a mother, that is a very personal decision that has much more to do with your life planning, although that does not prevent you from feeling maternal instinct towards children that are not yours, biologically the human being develops the instinct of over protection in both men and women through the hormone of love.
You can read more details about these studies here https://www.nationalgeographicla.com/historia-y-cultura/2018/05/es-el-instinto-maternal-exclusivo-de-las-madres/amp
YES, the love hormone exists, the maternal instinct also thanks to it, occurs in women but also in men, they have nothing to do with the desire to be parents and you can develop it towards anyone, even if it is not your child.
This topic has many other bases and we can expand it on another occasion, for now I want to make it clear that it is okay to want to be mothers and in the same way it is okay not to want to be.