- They Insist on Accompanying You Everywhere
An abuser who wants to isolate you from others has many “looks” — including never leaving you alone. This is not because they “love you so much and only want time together,” warns Kelman. It’s about establishing power and dominance and separating you from loved ones, which makes relying on the abuser necessary, Kelman explains.
The abuser may indirectly isolate someone by not allowing them to leave home or carry out any activities alone, such as going to school or work, doctor appointments, grocery shopping, picking up their children, or participating in events with extended family or friends, Kelman says.
Establishing this type of control doesn’t happen overnight, though. The perpetrator may become progressively more possessive or jealous over time, Genovese says, eventually forbidding the person to participate in any activities alone.
- They Frequently Employ Gaslighting Tactics
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which an abuser causes a person to question his or her own reality. It’s named after the British dramatist Patrick Hamilton’s 1938 play Gas Light, which tells the story of a husband who slowly manipulates his wife into thinking she’s mentally ill.
According to Genovese, gaslighting can involve taunting or humiliating a person, and then accusing them of being overly sensitive or dramatic when they react to these taunts. “The victim is made to feel confused, or that their reactions are out of proportion to the circumstances and to begin to question their own reactions and feelings,” says Genovese.
In these types of relationships, the abuser often paints a picture of the person being abused as mentally unfit and overreactive, or downplays abusive incidents as normal arguments, says Kambolis. Over time, the person being abused may come to question all their own thoughts, leaving them even more dependent on the abuser.
This type of emotional abuse puts people at higher risk of experiencing physical harm, Kambolis adds.
- They Use ‘Love Bombing’ to Smooth Over Emotional Attacks
Emotional abuse often involves emotional attacks, which Kambolis defines as constant judgment and criticism and treating someone as if they’re worthless. It’s not uncommon for an abuser to emotionally chip away at the other person’s self-esteem, leaving them feeling dependent and incapable of leaving, Kelman adds.
Love bombing — which can take the form of gifts, compliments, apologies, and grandiose promises to never repeat the abusive behavior — often follows these emotional attacks as a way to smooth things over, Kelman explains.
If this pattern of emotional attacks followed by love bombing develops, reach out for support to safely break free of the relationship, Kelman advises. In general, attempts to talk to an abuser about this type of behavior results in the abuser using blaming, manipulating, and gaslighting tactics to avoid responsibility, she says.
- The Person Being Abused Seems Eager to Please Their Abuser
A person experiencing domestic violence may agree with, compliment, praise, or make excuses for the abuser..
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You are right this, these are some simple tricks used by abusers .. Good article.