Warning: Long read.
Subtopic:
THERE ARE NO WOMEN AT THE BAR
The subtopic of this post is a statement I have heard more times now (as a law graduate), than I had in my 5 years of being an undergraduate law student. Actually, I have heard it more now than I have in my 27 years of being in the world of the living. It is almost always prompted by my asking why, or my expression of defiance towards female Judges being referred to, as if they were male. Oh no sis., I kid you not, and no, I am not writing a story with an 18th or 19th century setting. The people who give such justification for this repugnant-to-equity practice include men and women who are alive in 2023, and have witnessed, maybe even proudly and enthusiastically, all the changes and progression this century has ushered in. Maybe if I studied law as a young girl, and heard them say things like this in 2016, I might not be as shocked or resentful of their line of reasoning. Just maybe.
Our people - Nigerians - and some men in other parts of the world who are myopic minded and afraid of change, hold onto cultures so tightly without a care in the world how barbaric, or cruel, or meaningless, or simply in need of positive change, some practices are. Just a week ago, I was involved in an argument on X (Twitter) - if it can be called that, and I tried to make people understand the importance of not picking out an opinion, taking it out of context and changing the entire and original narrative or intention of the author. A lot of argumentative fallacies and bogus analogies, plus obtuse comparisons were made. At this point, I would probably have said it was mind-boggling but I know better. I was not one bit surprised and did not even think to glorify such displays of silly mischief (whether it existed because of the party’s inadequacies in reasoning, or whether it was intentional), with replies. I muted “civil” ones and blocked uncivil commenters. LIke one that purported to lay a curse on me wishing me to remain single forever, LMAO.
For context, I will tell you what brought about all that ruckus.
I come from one of the three major tribes in my country. I am an Igbo woman, and in my culture, the kola nut, which we call Ọjị, is a very significant cultural symbol which plays a crucial role in ceremonies and other gatherings. The presentation of the Kola nut symbolises respect, and is offered by hosts to make guests feel welcome. Where the gathering is a meeting, irrespective of the presence of women, the men are charged with the responsibility to bless it, break it and present (show) it to the other attendees of the meeting, excluding the women. In the week referred to in the previous paragraph, a multiple-award winning author, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (CNA), gave an interview in which she said, "women need to be seen as full human beings...", and went on to recount a story of how, one time, she was at her village, and in a meeting, she insisted on being the one to bless and break the kola. As a result of her expressions, the men came to an agreement that to avoid any further troubles, when they bless and break it, they will show it to her as well. And she laughed and said that was great, thinking to herself, 'I've just made progress, one day, women will not only be shown, but will also get to bless and break it.'
This is only an excerpt of the interview and this excerpt was posted on X by a guy who approved, saying he liked the idea, as it would bring about the progressiveness of our culture.
As expected, there were lots of quotes and comments, and fresh tweets/posts, agreeing and disagreeing, some on traditional grounds, others on women-want-everything-that's-ours grounds. LOL. Some others made silly arguments. I saw one independent post where a lady said, “...after breaking kola nut, give her shovel to dig a grave… and a rope to tap wine.”
Yep, men climb all the way up there to tap palm wine
Yes, these things are still manually done in Nigeria. And are apparently reserved for men alone because only men are seen as capable and the opposite gender is too fragile. But there are women who are as physically strong as the average man and who do not mind these things. Some actually want to do it and they should not be told off, only by reason of their being female. I mean, women fought wars and still are, am I right?
What a lot of people fail to appreciate is the context of some of these kinds of comments by feminists. Using the CNA case in point, she literally first said that she wished women would be seen as full human beings, and then went ahead to recount a story exemplifying a scenario that saw women as less than or not as worthy as men. But, people just choose to take only a part of what she said out of context and use it against her, thereby creating the wrong narrative. Oh well, I should not be bothered because, anyone with a brain who actually listened to the interview, even if only that part, would get the point and argue it wholly, concurring or not.
In my bid to set people straight who seemed to have misunderstood or missed her message, I pointed out that there are women who dig graves and others who tap wine as well as men, and that this was about the freedom of choice not the single act of breaking kola. As it is with many other cultures, in the Igbo culture, women are not worthy of some positions or some activities and that is the issue. It is not about capability, but about worthiness, and that in itself is demeaning and nowhere near equitable. We should be talking about people who are not worthy, not a gender that is not. A gathering of thieving men could have noblewomen in their midst and the thieving men would still have the autonomy of blessing (it would be cursing really, going by our traditions) and breaking the kola, just as far as a woman, however noble, does not do it. One guy even said, ‘it is not about women’s rights, it is about breaking kola and that is all Chimamanda cares about right now, that is all her life is about, breaking kola.’ I have used single quotes here because I have not quoted verbatim. I do not care to go looking for the reply, it is not worthy, °inserts smirk emoji°. How silly.
The argument by some that it is our culture, readily brings to mind a very simple-to-understand example; the practices of old England in which women could not ascend the throne, and there was even a civil war to prevent it from happening the first time it seemed inevitable. Well, today, we all know that England has had not one, not two, not even three, but many Queens, since. Even at home, women could not be made Chiefs but, the very CNA under attack is a titled Chief in her village and mouths were full of her praises when she was made one.
If you read me, you would know that I tend to digress quite a lot. Pardon me.
The primary crux of this post is to speak on the very well known and evidential phenomenon of change being constant and cultures evolving. So it has in many developed countries, so it has in even our own retrogressive society and so it has in the small niche called The Bar Association:
There were no women at the Bar.
It is all in the past. There are women at the Bar now. There are also women at the Bench; female judges, who deserve to and should be referred to as female - My Lady, or Her Worship, or The Honourable Justice Mrs. or yes ma’am or yes ma; instead of Justice Mr. or no sir, or His Worship, when the person is clearly and glaringly female. The Nigerian Bar Association’s excuse for retrogression, which includes bad rulers (oh yes because since 2015, we haven't had any leaders, in the real sense of the word), who misappropriate funds, thereby denying us things as basic as stenographers for record of court proceedings; the insane level of greed and corruption amongst its people; etc. may be considered acceptable reasons as to why effecting some changes may be very difficult. But, for something as easy and not even worthy of these many words, as referring to a female as female instead of operating in baseless denial of her gender is something that could twist the mind in a bid to understand it, worse still, if you do so from their perspective of the very archaic, “there is no woman at the Bar." It is a long erased practice Nigeria copied from her colonial masters. Oh how good we are at copying without sieving. It is akin to a cheat in an examination hall copying the answers of his/her neighbour, and even after the supposedly more brilliant neighbour erases the previous answer and writes a better one, this cheat cares nothing of it, hands in the wrong answers and of course fails the subject. There are many many laws in our Constitution and Acts which follow this pattern.
Amending laws is a rigorous process, but what, I ask again, is the rationale for calling a Mrs. Mary, or a Mrs. Vanessa, or a Mrs. Nnenna; Mr. Mary, Mr. Vanessa or Mr. Nnenna? From any viewpoint, it makes no sense. Oh, except you consider that all our Judges are a part of the LGBTQ++ community, then yes, by all means, carry on. Afterall, our usurper of a president was female (in his impersonated degree credentials) during his time at Chicago State University, but is now male. Indeed, anything is possible. 🌈
One more thing, from the foregoing, why is it only Judges who get to be treated like that. If there are no women at the Bar, females who are at the actual Bar (not Bench) should be considered male too. They should not leave all the fun for Judges alone, or are female lawyers not worthy to be called men?
I rest my case.
PS: I do not answer 'sir' to a female judge. I say ma, or neither. And whenever I have to say My Lord to a judge, if she is female, I will say My Lady. Now, if they are uncomfortable with it in their narrow-mindedness, or if I get scared of being held in contempt of court, I will say Your Honour.
Many many many thanks for stopping by to read.
If you have any comments or suggestions, please feel free to make them, and I will reply to all, as usual.
Until next time, xoxo.
PS²: I am tempted to write Galenkp's closing remarks here - Live everyday to the fullest, tomorrow isn't promised.... I think it is a very cool mantra that one should never get tired of reading or hearing. It applies everyday. I wish it were mine 😭😹.
PS³: I wrote this last year. 😉
Nota bene: Images that aren't sourced are mine.
I like your share a lot. Mind you, the discourse isn’t pleasant per se, the dismissive attitude of polarized conversations online nor the contemptuous attitude with which women are regarded by various cultures. Yet, at the same time, the personal story telling of your origin, your thoughts on the matter and the response you offer to those bigoted simpletons feels just right. I have no doubts that your disposition hasn’t ever let you sit complicit to ignorance, though you’re discerning enough to avoid confrontation where avoidable and otherwise unwelcome. (Imagine being held in contempt for proper address?!)
In the end, change takes time that I personally would like to go faster, but it’s people like you who hasten this work. Please keep going, even if you didn’t need my saying so. And thank you for stopping by my writing to share your thoughts too.
You've left me smiling and dumbfounded. All I can think to say is THANK YOU! MEANS A WHOLE LOT.
The pleasure was mine.
!LADY
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Thanks! 🙌🏾