Hello, @roleerob. It's nice to read you.
I don't know about you, but there are times when it is tempting to "go back" and do it over, with what I now know.
I went through this period. After the unfortunate end of my first marriage, I thought I would choose the best husband next time. But it was not a choice, it was fate. He was not better or worse, he was different. It turned out that I could be different too. And we succeeded.
Interesting perspective. You mention reading the Bible in this post. As a younger man, I was resistant to this. For lots of reasons ...
But ...
Thankfully, at a critical "moment of truth", I was encouraged to reconsider. The end result? My marriage did not end. We have now been married over 45 years!
Did I deserve this outcome. No. But thankfully it was not dependent upon my "earning" it or anything "performance" based. He met me there, because of who He is not because of who I am, and my life was never the same ...
My appreciation for how a sovereign God ordains the events in my life grows deeper with age. I imagine that will continue ...
Same for me. I could not save my first marriage, I was too young... And I often cried "Why me??" But my daughter is my reward. Besides, I think all those years God has led me to what I have now. And I'm very grateful for that.
Yes. I am among the admirers of the courage you and Nick have shown through this horrible time in your nation's history. "Lion-hearted" comes quickly to mind.
How many people in our time @zirochka would even be willing to say "Live free or die!" let alone live it out?
We will continue to pray for the ultimate victory of you and your people over the tyrannical forces of evil arrayed against you.