Sooner or later it dawns on you who you love. Not by creeping, or lurking in the shadows waiting for a chance to pounce on you, no, you just don’t see it coming but it has always been at the back of that traumatized matter you confuse for a brain. You’ve always known it.
It's confusing as hell when you think of it, but that’s just it. You know you’re in love when you least expect it, but you have always been in love, you just didn’t want an alliance with the possibility. You always kept ignoring it, always strangling it, convincing yourself that no it wasn’t or isn’t love, yet it always has been. You did feel it didn’t you? Yet there you played dumb. Hm.
And you always were the first to say that maybe love doesn’t exist anymore, yet you keep searching for it. In a fleeting moment you’re grudging against love, in the next you’re head over heels about her. Well, say you were right, why didn’t you just get over it and move on?
Keep saying that that’s because you ain’t got no options but we both know that’s a lie, you just keep attracting potential partners to be without even trying to. Would blame it on your cuteness but you have more than what it takes for one to love you. Or like you. Or crush on you. But yet find yourself looming over her… The same one you always deny loving. I could call you a bitch but that would be underrating won’t it?
Maybe you miss out on the fun of not being in love, that’s why you keep falling in and out of love with the same person, well look at her, she’s a wonder ain’t she?
Love demands a lot, you wanna give it all for her but yeah, you end up not, each but not every time.
I mean, there’s a time you did but gone are the good days innit? The consistency, the sacrifices, the time, the attention, the loyalty, the fidelity, the faithfulness…you know they can become invalid any time, maybe perhaps why you seem to fall short once or twice. But that’s okay I guess, it’s hard when you don’t know for sure if this’s it. If this’s her. If this’s the one and only time it won’t end in ruins. If this’s that one only time in the multiverse where all works out just fine. The possibilities are endless. What could happen? Good or bad, the results shouldn’t determine what you put into your acquaintance. Give it your all, what’s there to lose? Your heart… your trust… your hope.. Right…But you knew the risks before, so why not roll on and hope for the better?
You love her…it’s dawning on you now isn’t it? She has your heart and maybe, just maybe you have hers too.
It’s dreadful isn’t it?