One thing I fear most is cancer. I have read so many stories of people's cancer journey. I celebrate with them when I hear that they have been declared cancer free. And it saddens me when I also see stories of people being lost or losing their families to the humongous monster that is cancer.
Since a compulsory breast test was carried out on me and I was said to have a lump in one of my breasts, I have been dealing with the possibility of having cancer. When I was told about the lump, it really burdened and weighed me down. I was advised to go in for surgery, so as to get it removed. At that time, my family was extremely struggling with finances and I knew the surgery was also going to cost a whole lot of money that my family didn't have. I kept procrastinating telling my parents about the lump. There was already a whole lot of things burdening them financially. And I was also afraid of giving reality to this negative thing that had suddenly popped up in my life.
I kept this information to myself for two good years. This period was mentally rough for me because I was burdened with that knowledge. I learnt to shove and lock it into the deepest and darkest recesses of my mind. But it's presence was still always felt. It didn't just shake me up mentally, it took it's toll physically. It's why they say ignorance is bliss sometimes. My breasts started feeling odd to me. I would feel pains in them and sometimes I will be unable to sleep on my chest, because I was just scared. But I also somehow held on to the hope that maybe the lump wasn't real. Maybe it was a mistake from the nurse. Maybe the pains were just phantom. That hope kept me going.
I finally decided to let my parents know about it this year. They were so angry that I had kept it away from them for so long and that I had to go through everything alone for two years. They were angry because I had come to the conclusion of hiding it from them. They told me that they could have borrowed money if it came to me having good health. So, I was scheduled for another health check at the hospital. Two days ago, I went for the check-up with my dad accompanying me. I was glad to have told my parents about this. I felt relief to have their support.
Another breast test was conducted thoroughly on me and to my surprise, the doctor said there were no lumps in any of my breasts. I asked him if he was sure, to which his response was positive. Joy spread through me and my dad. I have been sitting on a tightrope all these years worrying that I might have to go in for surgery or that I might have to battle with cancer. That burden of worry got lifted after I heard the good news. For the pain and the weightiness, the doctor prescribed some drugs and I received injections. He also told me to come back after ten days for another checkup and to get final medical test results. I am keeping my fingers crossed till then and I’m hoping for healing and a positive diagnosis after my next checkup.
Thanks for reading.✨