A Sneak Peek into the Unruly

Dear reader, my mind says hello.
She would like to tell you a little about herself. The goal is not to initiate a form of understanding for she doesn’t care about being understood. Her goal, I believe, is to tug at little strings of relativity in your own mind or simply for your entertainment.

You see, my mind is the most interesting thing about me. I have settled for ‘interesting’ for a lack of a better word; a word that doesn’t open an uncomfortable can of questions and doubts.
My mind is both my best friend and worst enemy. We have worked hard for years to understand each other and I think that now we do. We have come to the understanding that some things are just best left alone; one of which is my mind.

Efforts and attempts have been made to control her; by myself and even external bodies; but she has proven too much to contain. Some days she is an overly huge quantity of shiny slime bursting with colours and spilling out of the rather small bowl meant to contain her. Other days we see a plain or dark slime sitting perfectly still in the bowl, no drama!

You do not manage her, you do not control or contain her, you just leave her be. It has proven independent and effectively capable to taking care of itself. My mind is my treasure. She is my safe space, even on days we can’t stand each other; we know we’ll always be here.

Staying connected with my Chi - my highest self, has become easier since I stopped trying to probe and poke my mind. She tried to tell me of her perfection, never needing any of those harsh measures intended to make it better. But I was drowning in the noise of the world and failed to listen.

You see, my mind thrives on Freedom. I let her go wherever she wants, to wander as far as she desires. We have trust and I have faith that no matter how dark she gets, or how far into the light she travels, she’ll always find her way back to me. We are not defined by the bounds and limitations of mere sensibilities, everywhere and nowhere is home.

My mind doesn’t always remember. While some memories are etched to my brain, some are forever lost. Some mornings I wake up and completely blank out of what appeared to have been a vivid dream. However, I have learnt to let go of the things my mind desperately wants to forget. In the words of Dr. Hannibal Lecter, “Memory gives moments immortality, but forgetfulness promotes a healthy mind”.

I just quoted a serial killer. Oh boy! 😭

Point is, My mind and I? We belong!

Thank you for reading. ❤️