... But I don't mean no desires ! Hi everyone, I hope you are doing fine. Indeed, the frontier between these two terms is difficult to grasp as the ideas behind these two words are so close and sometimes assimilated to the same thing.
I was thinking of starting to write last night on this subject, which is close to Zen Buddhist philosophy, but I preferred to wait for sleep to pass over it and to see what the night would bring me.
Although very close, there is a major difference between the two. Behind "expectation" one can read something akin to passivity. For me, in my understanding of the term, one hopes by waiting. We are therefore rather passive. On the other hand, in "desire", there is a notion of action, a movement of soul and body that pushes us to do what is necessary so that this desire becomes reality, becomes a tangible and concrete thing.
We all know this, I mean we've all experienced it. You see, when you develop a plan, it rarely follows exactly the steps you have defined in advance. This is even more the case when the plan is complex and involves many steps.
As a concrete example, I could cite the recent property search we went through, which is not yet over since the final signature will be at the beginning of June. Well, if at each stage I had clung to my expectations of a house and the mental projection I had of it, and not to the reality of the facts with unfailing objectivity, I would inevitably have been disappointed.
Indeed, when one is hung up on what one expects, one takes the great risk of being disappointed. And unfortunately, this is what happens most often when we are in this state of mind... Instead of doing this, we put our own energy into achieving our desires without letting disappointments get us down. I can't tell you how many houses we've lost, all the ones we would have liked to have seen ourselves in and which were already sold !
But in the end, the one who is in the right place at the right time is yours. And in relation to the fact that I mentioned above, about the sale not being completed yet, I know well and keep in mind that things don't go as planned. Anything can still happen and I keep that in the back of my mind. Of course, I prefer everything to go well, but I can't exclude the unexpected.
I have always had this state of mind in relation to life and the events that populate and punctuate this space-time. This has been reinforced by the practice of Zen and mediation, a practice that anchors you in the present moment. The idea is to make this state last at all the other moments of our existence. You sit down, concentrate on your breathing and instead of trying to "suppress" the thoughts - which is impossible - you let them go. The past is gone and the future is yet to come. If we allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by regrets or anxious expectations related to these two dimensions, our present moment risks being corrupted. In the same way, it will become the past and may create more regrets. Our present moment thus perverted is more likely to corrupt our future. I think at this point you get the picture. You are stuck in this cycle of regret and expectation and there is little or no way out.
As I was thinking about these questions, I remembered two other things that were often said in my family and which must be at the root of this state of mind in me...
The first is a phrase that my grandfather often repeated. Even though I can see him saying these words, I don't remember how they sound. It is a very well-known phrase, or at least one that floats around in the subconscious of many of us. "Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst". In the end, when I think about it today, my grandfather had a real survivalist philosophy... or more one of a peasant who only believes what he sees and doesn't delude himself with mental projections. I know that as a child I was always reassured by his calmness, the way he preferred to judge on the basis of concrete facts.
The second might almost be antinomic to my thinking. It depends on how you read it. This one comes from my father, and at first he used to tell us that especially when we came home with bad results : "I don't care about that, what I want to see is the trajectory." I admit that we didn't understand his detachment, but when you think about it, it makes complete sense. Is it better to start the year at 9 out of 10 and finish at 3 or start the year at 4 and finish at 10 ?
I then extrapolated this thinking to the need to have a focus, a perspective and ultimately a goal, no matter how distant that goal might be. I visualise this as a star for sailors. The idea is not to arrive at the star itself, but to arrive at the direction, the trajectory that it indicates.
The path is thus traced, it is the Way of Zen, but to perceive the path is nothing, what is important is to follow it and to do the actions that count to reach one of the points of this Way. To conclude, I would say that I feel very close to the quote that you see at the end of @galenkp's articles. You'll have to check it out for those who don't have it in mind.
Expect nothing from anyone except your own strength of will.
Allow me to say a few more words about these images that I took last spring. We are on the roof of a building in Ménilmontant, we are doubly high up because this district near Belleville and Père Lachaise is all on a slope and the rest of the city flows down the hill.
That afternoon remains engraved in my memory as a moment of beautiful detachment and at the same time of anchorage in the present moment. I had gone to meet a friend who worked in this building and after a moment spent together, he went back to work. So I stayed alone in front of the city, reading, thinking and meditating. So you can understand why I associate these images with this Sunday's reflection !
It's probably not enough to do an article on Pinmapple, but I ventured to add them so that they would be on my map - and who knows ? - maybe you'll get to visit this rooftop on a good day and feel the energy I've left there. But I hope that this article has already conveyed a certain mount of it to you...
Thank you for your visit and time spent reading, take good care of yourself and your loved ones :)
Obviously not an gram of AI in all this.
Please take note that all these images are mine.
... Mais je ne veux pas dire pas de désirs ! Salut à tous, j'espère que vous allez pour le mieux. En effet, la frontière entre ces deux termes est difficile à saisir tant les idées derrière ces deux mots sont proches et parfois assimilées à la même chose.
Je pensais à commencer à écrire hier soir sur ce sujet proche de la philosophie bouddhiste zen, mais j'ai préféré attendre que le sommeil passe là-dessus et de voir ce que la nuit m'aurait apporté.
Bien que très proches, il existe une différence majeure entre les deux. Derrière l'"attente" on peut lire quelque chose qui s'apparente à de la passivité. Pour moi, dans ma compréhension du terme, on espère en attendant. On est donc plutôt passif. En revanche, dans "désir", il y a une notion d'action, de mouvement d'âme et de corps qui nous pousse à faire ce qu'il faut pour que ce désire advienne dans la réalité, devienne chose tangible et concrète.
On le sais tous, enfin je veux dire qu'on l'a tous déjà expérimenté. Voyez-vous, lorsqu'on élabore un plan, il est rare que celui-ci emprunte exactement les étapes que l'on avait définies à l'avance. Et ce, d'autant plus lorsque le plan est complexe et qu'il comporte de nombreuses étapes.
Comme exemple concret, je pourrais citer la récente recherche immobilière par laquelle nous sommes passé et qui d'ailleurs n'est pas terminée puisque la signature définitive sera début juin. Et bien si à chaque étape je m'étais accroché à mes attentes, par rapport à une maison et la projection mentale que je m'en faisais, et non pas à la réalité des faits avec une objectivité à toute épreuve, j'aurais inévitablement déçu.
En effet, lorsqu'on est accroché à ce que l'on attend, on prend le grand risque d'être déçu. Et malheureusement, c'est ce qui arrive le plus souvent lorsqu'on est dans cet état d'esprit... Au lieu de faire cela, nous avons mis une énergie propre à parvenir à nos désirs sans se laisser abattre par les déconvenues. Je ne pourrais vous dire le nombre de maisons qui nous ont filées sous les doigts, toutes celles dans lesquelles on se serait bien vu et qui étaient déjà vendues !
Mais à la fin, c'est celle qui est au bon endroit et au bon moment qui est la votre. Et par rapport au fait que j'évoquais au dessus, à propos que la vente n'était pas encore réalisée, je sais bien et garde comme hypothèse que les choses ne se passent pas comme prévues. Tout peut encore arriver et je garde cela dans un coin de mon esprit. Bien entendu, je préfère que tout aille bien, mais je ne peux exclure l'imprévu.
J'ai toujours eu cet état d'esprit par rapport à la vie et aux événement qui peuplent et rythment cet espace-temps. Celui-ci a notamment été renforcé par la pratique du Zen et de la médiation, une pratique qui vous ancre dans l'instant présent. L'idée est de faire perdurer cet état à tous les autres moments de notre existence. On s'assois, on se concentre sur sa respiration et au lieu d'essayer de "supprimer" les pensées - ce qui est impossible - on les laisse filer. Le passé est révolu et le futur est à venir. Si on se laisse envahir par des regrets ou des attentes inquiètes liés à ces deux dimensions, notre instant présent risque d'être corrompu. De la même façon, celui-ci deviendra du passé et pourra créer d'autres regrets. Notre instant présent ainsi perverti aura ainsi de plus grands risques d'altérer notre futur. Je crois qu'à ce point vous avez bien saisi l'image. Vous êtes bloqués dans ce cycle de regrets et d'attentes et peu, sinon aucune porte de sortie ne s'offre à vous.
Alors que je repensais à ces questions, je me suis souvenu de deux autres choses qui se disaient souvent dans ma famille et qui doivent être à la source de cet état d'esprit chez moi...
La première est une phrase que répétait souvent mon grand-père. Même si je le vois prononcer ces mots, je ne me rappelle pas de la tournure de ceux-ci. C'est une phrase très connue ou en tout cas qui flotte dans l'inconscient de nombre d'entre nous. "Espère pour le mieux, mais soit prêt pour le pire". Au final, quand j'y repense aujourd'hui, mon grand-père avait une vraie philosophie de survivialiste... ou de paysan qui ne croit que ce qu'il voit et ne se berce pas d'illusions ou de projections mentales. Je sais qu'enfant, j'ai toujours été rassuré par son calme, la manière dont il préférait juger sur du concret.
La seconde pourrait presque être antinomique par rapport à ma réflexion. Cela dépend en tout cas comment on la lit. Celle-ci me vient de mon père et au départ, il nous disait cela surtout lorsque nous rentrions avec de mauvaises notes : "Ça ne m'intéresse pas, ce que je veux voir, c'est la trajectoire." Je vous avoue que nous ne comprenions pas son détachement, mais lorsqu'on y pense, cela fait complètement sens. Vaut-il mieux commencer l'année à 9 sur 10 et finir à 3 ou bien commencer l'année à 4 et finir à 10 ?
Par la suite, j'ai extrapolé cette réflexion pour l'appliqué au besoin d'avoir un axe, une perspective et finalement un objectif, qu'importe si celui-ci pouvait être distant. Je visualise cela comme une étoile pour les marins. L'idée n'est pas d'arriver à l'étoile même, mais bien à la direction, à la trajectoire que celle-ci indique.
Le chemin est ainsi tracé, c'est la Voie du Zen, mais percevoir le sentier n'est rien, ce qui importe c'est bien de le parcourir et de faire les actions qui comptent pour parvenir à un des points de cette Voie. Pour conclure, je dirais que je me sens très proche de la citation que l'on voit à la fin des articles de @galenkp. Vous irez voir cela pour ceux qui ne l'on pas en tête.
N'attendez rien de personne, sinon de la propre force de votre volonté !
Permettez-moi encore quelques mots sur ces images que j'ai prises au printemps dernier. Nous sommes sur le toit d'un immeuble de Ménilmontant, nous sommes doublement en hauteur puisque ce quartier proche de Belleville et du Père Lachaise est tout en pente et le reste de la ville coule en bas de cette colline.
Cette après-midi reste gravée dans ma mémoire comme un moment de beau détachement et en même temps d'encrage dans le moment présent. J'étais allé retrouvé un ami qui travaillait dans cet immeuble et après un moment passé ensemble, il est retourné travailler. Je suis donc resté seul face à la ville, à lire, penser et méditer. Vous comprendrez donc pourquoi j'associe ces images à la réflexion de ce dimanche !
C'est sans doute un peu maigre pour faire un article sur Pinmapple, mais je me suis risqué à les ajouter pour que celles-ci soient sur ma carte - et qui sait ? - peut-être qu'ainsi vous aurez l'occasion de vous rendre sur ce toit une belle journée et vous ressentirez l'énergie que j'y aurai laissé. Mais j'espère que cet article vous en aura déjà transmis une certaine somme !
Je vous remercie pour votre visite et le temps de votre lecture, prenez bien soin de vous et de vos proches :)
Évidemment pas un gramme d'AI dans tout ceci.
Toutes ces images sont les miennes, merci d'en tenir compte.
All you need is less. more than just a cliché.
I have this hanging on a wall as a daily reminder.
It is easier to adopt this when the level of distractions surrounding is is lower. being surrounded by nature does the trick.
This is evident in truth, but so wise nowadays. Is this print the one you have at home ?
This is really recommended and this is also why I believe that the aim of some is to turn us away from Nature, the True and the Beautiful.
The print I have is similar.
indeed. could not agree more.
The root of all suffering, right? Expectation and desire are both future based, where there is a wanting of some sort and ultimately, nothing is going to be met fully or, once the object of desire is held, it isn't what it was expected to be. We can only live in the moment, and while we can work for tomorrow, it has to be done from today, which means, this is where our attention should be. Easier said than done.
Unlike....
I will argue the "which is impossible" part with an exception, where it is possible to have no conscious thought at all, so there is nothing to suppress, nor nothing to let go of. The exception is very few people have the condition of mind to do this. I am one of them after a stroke :)
Indeed, but even without being Zen monks masters, it's doable with a bit of practice...
Wow, did you recover without too much damage ?
Thanks for visiting, I wish a good week ahead !
Tu écris en quelle langue originalement? 😊 I read it in french this time..
I love what your father said, to be honest that is such a sober statement from a parent towards school achievement, many parents have been completely stupid by believing in and taking school grades so seriously, it was kind of a trahison for many to be honest, and it's ridiculous when we look back..
Also I love the analogy with the marine not wanting to reach the star itself.. duh!! Haha thanks for reminding that it's really awesome!
I liked this reflection very much, and it brought up to me all the evil things our mind can fall into when we have expectations, as I have done this myself to be honest.. and now reading this, it would take me an entire post to elaborate.. maybe that's what I might do then ... But no expectations 😉
Warm wishes from Croatia,
KPHI
It depends, sometimes directly in English but often in French at first !
Thank you for reading and for your comment which means a lot to me 😇I myself was really caught up in a lot of expectations for many years. I am of course and I don't think it's possible to get to the point where I don't have any. It's a bit like ego, you need it to motivate yourself ^^
Don't hesitate to mention me in that project of article, will look forward reading it 😉 But as you said, no expectations. Send you my best, take good care !
Just checked in here, thanks for your heartfelt answer, sorry I could not make it earlier;
Interesting, although french is my mothertongue haven't written in it for ages, I'm not using it that much anymore funnily but I appreciate its ingenuity and subtle articulation of nuances. Especially la langue des oiseaux, my partner having learnt french in school only, is the one pointing out to me some very fascinating nuances and meaningful subtleties which is quite fascinating! 🌞
Oh yeah, expectations and ego. If I'm honest I don't like my ego to motivate me anymore, it takes me away from what really comes to my awareness and his ideas of what I should do are not what is truly of interest in me deeply. It's just running on the programs of what the outside world deems important and significant whereas lately I realized there is so much in this world I actually don't give a damn about even if I would be pretty good at it.. so that perspective helped me skip the nonsense and superficialities and took me back to my true inner drive. Which frankly was super frustrating because as soon as I didnt listen to my ego anymore I felt like there was nothing I felt like doing, I had no purpose, felt totally useless and worthless. But eventually some things came up that I could not deny felt very significant. Only they were so "small" sometimes that my ego had never considered them wortwhile 🤭
Hope that makes sense!
Will definitely mention you when I post about that,
Wish you a great weekend filled with blessings! 🌸
Hello @housecatharsia !
I'm late as well :)
Completely ! I get what you're meaning, I feel that ego is power of the towns, must still use it as I'm still living in one ^^ However, I feel that this can motivate me in some cases, in studies or meditation, but never in an exclusive or negative way, always quite oriented towards the search for the good and the beautiful necessary and not superfluous... But I agree it can also be a dangerous energy !
Oui, le français, c'est une langue magnifique et c'est parfois regrettable qu'à force de parler - ou d'écrire - en anglais, on la pratique moins. Est-ce que tu lis toujours des livres en français ?
Merci pour ton beau message, je te souhaite une magnifique semaine 🌱
Hi!
I find your stance interesting and after feeling into it, perhaps you also describe & experience the willpower of the masculine energy, which would make a lot of sense, since that directive power is needed in many endeavors indeed; what you write about feels like pointing an arrow toward the star 😉 (just like healthy Mars Archetype actually!)
As my mind tends to be overly masculine I needed to get back into my feminine energy and sit still and open up to receive instead, especially because the status quo had convinced us to act and function too much from our masculine side which is quite imbalanced in a female body experience honestly
C'est ça, mais à chaque fois que je l'entends, surtout quand c'est un sujet profond, mon coeur fond c'est vrai. Les tournures et l'agilité des mots à aller au vif du sujet avec subtilité et à la fois audace, je ne l'ai pas retrouvé de telle manière dans d'autres langues.
Lecture moins, et sans intonation c'est devenu un peu dur quand c'est complexe, mais j'apprécie la richesse du vocabulaire.
En revanche j'ai récemment découvert l'alchimiste Jean Dubuis, et l'entendre parler m'a fait comprendre des nuances de la vie et de l'existence que j'aurais jamais pu entendre en anglais! Il est une âme très perspicace et la façon dont il s'exprime a résonné dans mon être entier, si tu ne le connais pas, je sens que ça pourrait te "brancher" 😊
Belle fin de semaine à toi aussi & meilleurs voeux,
Kaliphae
Oui, il y a en effet pas mal de cela, c'est peut-être aussi cette volonté de contrôle total qui est m'est de plus en plus étrangère..! Surtout lorsqu'on se dit une bonne fois pour toute que c'est globalement une illusion.. C'est un peu comme les maîtres zen ou bouddhistes qui évoquent les choses sous plusieurs aspects à la fois, conventionnels, intérieurs et spirituels.
Je vais aller voir cela à propos de Jean Dubuis, j'ai un ami très intéressé par l'alchimie, j'imagine qu'il doit connaître, mais je lui demanderai. Merci pour cette recommandation !
Bonne journée et à bientôt :)
I get it all... It's difficult to follow ones own desires these days, your onw path, philosophy and adventures. Not because one doesn't want to, but because society has this idea of what your life should look like, and if you don't meet this, people cast you aside. I learnt this at a young age, and I'm happy to say I'm living life for me the way I want (80% of the time, I still need to work 🤣)
I think we're pretty close on this as we're about the same age (from what I can estimate ^^). Basically, I'm willing to adapt, but I don't and will not accept everything. For good things, true and justified, I'm quite easy, but when I'm expected to do something I don't want, I can be quite insoluble haha 😂
Aaa a fellow young one with the mind of a wise old soul 😌. But yes, if feels like we are moving into a time where your own thoughts are to meet the expectations and demands of others. I want to go my own way, and I promise it will be of benefit to everyone around me in the end 😂
I'm exactly in the same mood and spirit as you ! Individualism is not selfishness also and it's important to be good for yourself for being able to be good to others ✌️
I wish you a good day fellow young one with the mind of a wise old soul,
loved the expression 😇
Meditation is a great technique or rather a set of techniques which helps us achieve so many different things depending upon what we are looking for from being in the present, more focused or look at our problems and life more objectively or anything else it is like a magic master key that opens so many doors of opportunities.
Another thing that your post reinforces for me is how people who are dear to us continue to live with us in so many ways be it our memories, our DNA or our thought process.
The physical limitation of life cannot separate us or cannot stop us from reconnecting with them or staying connected.
Yes your positive energy would keep inspiring people who visit the roof top.
However even from this distance I do feel the positive vibes.
Hello Dear @anttn Take care dear @anttn and have a wonderful Sunday
You've said it all, I often see meditation as the free thing in essence - as it is intimately linked to breathing. That's why I like to do it without any expectations, because here in the West people meditate for something, but deep down I believe that you can meditate without a goal and have positive effects without doing it "for something"...
Have a good starting week 😇🙏
I grew up with very similar philosophy coming from my parents - never expect anything from anyone, never admit weakness, stand on your own two feet. It was drummed into me from a very young age. I think that a lot of these old school values have largely been forgotten and aren't really passed along as the newer generations seem to have a serious chip on their shoulder.
Passion is always a driving force but not being deluded and remaining objective will ensure that you aren't disappointed, it's a good balance to strike I think.
Yes, you have to be careful not to be disillusioned either, but I agree, it seems a bit old school these days... But I really love it and feel grateful for this strict education ^^
No more morals or ethics classes in school, I think it's a waste to teach actions without their significance and impact on society.
Thanks for visiting, I hope you had a good weekend !
It is essential to live TODAY. I have read something that says, Every second you spend worrying (about the past or future) is a second of happiness you lose which you can never get back. We should never deprive ourselves from living our life TODAY by consuming our time thinking what the past could have been and what the future will be.☺️
Yes, that's a good way of looking at it! I'll keep that one in mind :D It's a bit assimilating in my opinion with all the news streaming and injunctions raining down from everywhere. It's sometimes difficult to be informed without being subjected to all that...!
Thanks for your visit and your insight :) May you have a good day ✌️
You're welcome! Have a nice day, too!
😇😘✌️
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