Having Kids
I have been thinking about writing this post for awhile, but there is always something else that seems more important than to just write about this old and yet lasting personal thought. The optimal time to write this post was probably 12-13 years back, when my older daughter was a toddler or just born. She is 13 now and taller than her mom, and uses phrases like: "you are weaponizing your pseudo-disability!" I kid you not, she used that in the car on the way back home from her art class! My point is, writing a post about how I felt like when she was born and what we did with her immediately after is long gone. She is a liberal independant lady who will vote the democractic ticket when her time arrives (I kid you not! Her own words!).
Yet, I haven't written that post. And yet, when I look at her and her sister I still feel like it was yesterday that Lia was born, and I was totally clueless! Then we had Trisha and I had more clues, but mosty I leaned parenting from the kids :)
I like dinosaur comics a lot. Please click on the source to visit their twitter feed. The four panels above perfectly summarized one of our key feelings after having Lia, our first child. As many of you know, my wife and I we are both geoscientists. We were class mates in college, so we know each other for decades, and we are both outdoorsy people. The trouble was, lot of our immediate friends, as we were finishing grad school and starting work, were very task oriented and indoor/office focused. Some of them had kids already at the time, and we were told that after kids life changes a lot (which is true), and it is unlikely we will be able to travel as much as we were before (not true). However, at the time we were clueless, and felt sort of like the dino couple here.
We quickly found out that reality in unique for each individuals. Our kids were healthy and extremely travel friendly just like us. So we did everything with them, just like we did before. Dare I say, we did more, because, first we could and wanted to show ourselves that we could.
They said Santorini is a "couples place". They don't like kids there. Also it is steep terrains there and it is impossible to push a stroller. We said, we will see about that!
This is 2013, I walked down and up the ancient trail to Fira with Lia at my back. We mostly carried backpacks on this trip, so there was not strollers and no roller bags. In fact even today that remains a best practice for a Santorini trip.
We walked everywhere on that island. Those 7 days in Santorini changed a lot in our life. The impact was so much, that 10 years later we did the same trip again, but this time with two daughters.
This is during 2022
We took them everywhere. We camped at Moraine Park with Lia before she learned walking. Then went back there on her 5-year birthday to celebrate at the campground, when Trisha was only 6 months old.
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| 2012 | 2016 |
The point of all this writing is simple: yes it is possible to travel extensively with young kids. Not only it is possible, but traveling with young kids can be a truly enriching experience, filled with moments of pure joy and wonder. As they explore new places and encounter different cultures, children's imaginations ignite, and their sense of curiosity grows. Witnessing their excitement as they discover new sights, sounds, and tastes is a heartwarming sight. The shared experiences create lasting memories that will be cherished for years to come.
Moreover, traveling with young children can foster a sense of adventure and independence. As they navigate unfamiliar environments and overcome challenges, they develop problem-solving skills and build resilience. These experiences can also help to broaden their horizons and foster a greater appreciation for diversity. I can say this 13 years later, as my older recently came back from a 18 days trip from Japan over the summer with her school friends, without mom and dad. Also this is in fact a second such trip for Lia (the first one was Italy).
Hehe,the dinosaur comics are cool.
My oldest isn't so great at travelling. She is eleven but it will be fascinating to see how she goes early next year when she goes away with her friends at school to a big camp thing!
This school camp will be a big thing I guarantee you :) In my case it started with a summer camp in the Texas hill country during the first year of Covid and since then it never stopped!
Hehe, I do have the hope it will inspire a bout of confidence! It's awesome watching them grow 😃
Bravo, bravo! 👏🏻
Those are the only words that come to mind after reading the post.
My parents were just like you, and even though I don’t remember those trips because I was very young, I have incredible and funny photos from those travels.
Most importantly, according to my parents, they learned a lot from that experience, which helped them when my sister was born. The trips never stopped, and they never stopped having fun with us; they always found a different way to enjoy themselves.
In the future, I would like to be like that too, and that’s why I think many people should read this post, especially since it’s a real experience. I know parents who are the complete opposite, and I believe that can affect their children in the long run. So when will be my turn, I will think this way
I would love to keep traveling, especially as a family , not easy task but worth the adventure 😁
Thank you. As I mentioned, I am mostly clueless on parenting. I have learned mostly from my kids. I must say they taught me well :)
Children are the best gift God has given us.
During the summer vacation, my child and I climbed the highest peak of Huashan, one of the Five Great Mountains.
If it weren’t for my child’s company and encouragement, I think I would have given up after only a short climb and would never have been able to reach the top.
I looked up https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Hua!!
I have seen in it pictures only, maybe someday I get to visit.
This is us during a camping trip in the Grand Canyon. I know I look like a lunatic! :)
Such a happy father and daughters, especially since you have two daughters—this happiness is doubled.
As for Mount Hua,
It is extremely steep, and the feeling of seeing it in person is completely different from just looking at photos. I hope you get the chance to bring your daughters to experience it for yourselves.
Yeah, I believe you. This looks like the cables at Half Dome in California.
I have not yet become a parent but I live with my brother's children like a parent. I tell people around me that I hear that life changes after becoming a parent (in a negative way) but I have always tried to be friends with my friends and I believe that we are the same and will remain so with our children.
Anyway, in a country like India, a lot depends on religion and myths and we have to live our lives according to them. And this also includes that when a girl is born, you have to give up your dreams and live a suffocated life every day thinking about your daughter's marriage. Also, here, if you take a 6-month-old child on a trip, the family members start threatening to throw you out of the house, saying that if you don't love children, why did you give birth to them. I have thousands of stories from my joint family.
I am glad that you have written this post because it makes the life of all those parents meaningful who are living an ideal life with children. Dada have you ever come to India with children?
Lot of what you said is true even here in the US. That is the reason to write the post. Regarding if I have visited India with my kids: lets see if you can identify the locations...
This is strange because I consider America to be a country that is a little ahead in terms of ideology.
The first photo is of Pangong Lake, I don't know about the second one. Both the photos are very beautiful.
Second one is Amer Palace near Jaipur
Okay the opinion here is coming from someone without kids, which usually is enough reason for other parents to dismiss the opinion in general 'because what do you know'...
But I always think it is a genius idea to explore and take the youngsters with you. I think it always helps with their development and learning how to adjust to new place. But mayeb even more important, it seems like a good idea for the parents as well to explore and do new stuff for the general state of mind
But.....(there is always a but) I do think a lot of parents tend to forget that travelling and exploring with little ones needs some serious adjustment. Lower pace, still time for naps. Maybe the visiting country has a culture where dinner time is 10 pm while that is the time they should normally be in bed.
In other words, vacay aint the same as you might expect. But thats no reason to not do it!
But heck, what do I know ;))
(PS for no good reason I had not expected your appearance like this, I though more spooky as I had never seen snaps before...Cute girls as well there dude!!)
Yes, reality is often more surprising than perception :)
This is taken a few years back in Cancun, kids are bigger, and we are older, but here is my family.
When I was a new single mother back in 2001, my choice was stay in the town I grew up in or go to Europe anyway with a 4 year old in tow. Of course there was no social media back then to be inspired by others doing it, and for all I knew it was the first time anyone had done it, which I also knew was unlikely. Everyone thought I was crazy because no one had any other stories to go off. I was terrified jumping on that plane from Melbourne - kid, waller, backpack, passport - but felt I had no choice. And I couldn't understand why, if I could take him camping, why I couldn't take him backpacking. We had very little money and I never ate out - we carried a plastic bag of food - and we used to sneak in to museums and castles. He slept in my bed in dorm rooms or cheap pensions. We had a ball for nearly a year. He was a super cool kid so people liked to travel with us and we never felt alone. We housesat in places too via people we met along the way - Lisbon, Berlin, Amsterdam. It only got hard when 9/11 happened - we went home after that.
That is quite a moving story. I dare say, it can be expanded into a hive post for us to consume!
I will say this to anyone we are willing to listen: I am mostly a clueless parent and therefore I don't consider myself an expert of the subject at all. My wife and I are school class mates, so we kind of are together for a very long time, and we see eye to eye on many subject and especially parenting. We try to learn as much as we can from our kids and they have been good teachers!
It is still one of the best things I've ever done. I am pretty sure I've written about it before but it's been a while!
I don't think anyone are expert parents off the bat. You learn on the job and try to use common sense and read a bit if you can. I think your intelligence and thoughtfulness would go a long way, as would your clearly strong relationship with your wife!
Watching my son parent now shows me did an okay job - he's a fantastic hands on Dad and draws clear boundaries as well as gives him freedom to discover and get his hands and feet dirty. I think we learn a lot from our own parents - the good stuff and the stuff we need to correct!
I used to camp a lot with my parents and my sister when I was a kid. Some of my fondest memories from childhood are our camping trips. I think it's great that you do so much travelling with your family.
We camped at the South rim of The Grand Canyon a thanksgiving. One of the best things we did!
Very cool! My wife and I went to Colorado this summer, but not camping. After more than a decade, we still haven't made it out of Michigan with our camper yet.
The experiences you've given both your daughters, dada. These memories will live on forever. Humans will expire, but these photos, the laughter you've all shared, the shenanigans, and the journey itself, will all be cherished as long as the memory can preserve it. And that is my goal as well, to give my family(and of course myself) some of the best experiences so that we live on in memories, and so that we cherish these moments during old age when we can't walk as far or look as high.
My wife will be moving in soon, after completing her master's degree. We're planning on having kids soon, but with where I'm at in life, it's still a little bumpy. We've been married for 4 years now, so if it has to happen it will happen, but I'm just scared for not being capable enough to provide for my family and their future to give them the life that they deserve. Every day it feels as if I have very little time on my hands, especially when I look at my parents and I am pushing 30.
It feels as I've I could've or should've, achieved more by now...
You know what Master Oogway said?
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present"
You should listen to the wise man :)
Trying my best, dada. I've lowered the worries and voices of the past and of the future significantly; as I am trying to focus on the present and the things I can control.
Once in a while, it does bother me a bit; yet, this too shall pass...
What a lovely post, I think, you dared to do it and who dares wins. So in practice, you made them go through all the adventures at an very early age, which they enjoyed even though it was difficult (but they didn't realize), and that helped them grow better. In fact it's best to take them through hardship from age five, with we being with them and encouraging. By ten, they would grow to be responsible, like said by Chanakya.
Thank you!
Yes I am glad it worked out so far. My older will head to high school next year. We will see what the future holds for us :)
I am sure, the foundation will last long for her entire life. Even though my son was sick, I have done the best that I could and I can see it reflects on him now as well.
I still feel totally clueless. Well, my oldest is one year younger that yours, so maybe I will learn a lot in that one year time.
My one big regret with my kids is we didn't take them on trips often enough. So now that the oldest is 12, he doesn't have the habit of traveling and is therefore kind of scared of it and fights traveling when we want to. That was my fault for not going out with him sooner. I always thought it would be too much trouble so I thought to wait until he was older. I'm seeing the mistake of that approach now. Oh well. Trying to correct course now!
Nah! I think I am still clueless, but I certainly know a bit more than 13 year back :) Yes, never too late to start, especially Japan being one of the most beautiful countries in the world, your opportunities nearby is endless. I for example want to visit Sapporo soonish!
Recently I travelled across the continent with my older by road, one of the best thing I have done in a long time. This is her in the Canadian Rockies during that trip
I'm so happy I can show my kids more of the world than my parents could give me.
Times have changed.
We kept travelling when out kids were born. You do have to change your trips a bit, but travelling with babies and small kids didn't hold us back.
Yes, I have been able to do that same, and I am grateful
For sure, traveling with young kids is a heap of fun and they definitely learn a bunch of skills.
Absolutely! Learning every day.
Those Dianosure comics are hilarious! All have several levels of thought. And I can relate to some. For the later part, seeing the nieces and nephews grow, it indeed seems it was just yesterday!
I find them deep and full of life lessons.
That's amazing you were still able to travel. We are in a spot where we have started to think ab out having kids. It's just a weird time and the future seems so bleak so it's been a tough conversation.
All I can say is that we can't predict the future, and depending on your location and immediate life situation, the future mostly looked bleak in many placed over the last 100 years :)
It’s all about perspective I do agree there.
She sounds super smart! You've both clearly taught her very well.
I loved Santorini and that entire region is beautiful. I'm glad you've been able to travel so much with young children, and I hope there are still many more adventures for you all to come.
I honestly think that travelling is absolutely essential for everyone. It broadens the mind so much, gives you so many great stories and really helps you empathize with people you might not have had much connection with otherwise.
I love Greek islands. I hope people love the popular places like Mykonos and Santorini a bit less.
Hahaha, I really liked Corfu.
Ahhh that’s the Ionian side! Never been there!
My husband and I were travelers before kids. Our kids are now 4 and 3 years old, they started traveling since they were breastfeeding babies.
good for you. I am sure you will continue on this trajectory.
They enjoyed the boat trip in the South of Spain. My son went on a training for winter skiing ⛷️ in the French Alps. My daughter enjoyed the snow sled. We are more on a road trip. When they're taller we are planning to fly to southeast Asia.
I will likely not have kids. So far each time I liked a girl they did not like me. Perhaps that is for the best- both me and my mother have some mental issues so maybe my kids would have it as well...
But your family seems to be happy together.
In the end its your choice. To tell you the truth, I was reluctant to have kids myself, and now look what happened :)
My kids are grown up.
But I remember, when they were young.
Thats great.
Now my granddaughter is that age. 😀
I am looking forward to when they grow up and get out of my home :) LOL
Kids are very adaptable if you take them on travels with you they will adapt to it, if you don't you will have kids that are not very travel-enabled :) Speaking from my experience of having 11 and 22 year old kids.
yeah, soon my older won't travel with me :)
I'll miss that age when my kid was toddler, cute and believes everything I say, lol. When kids grow up they spend time with their friends and have their independent thought. Sometimes it scares me 😅
Yes, likewise for me.
Excellent post! I also have a daughter, our first trip with her was at 10 months old (for the hivefest in fact) it was not easy at all but totally worth it, as you say, it was an enriching experience of joyful moments and others that made us stronger
Cool! I have yet to join a hivefest in person.
I also like to travel with my son and two cute daughters.
One is 6 years old and the other is just one year old. My son is 3 years old and we travel a lot.
Recently we visited a beautiful park with my family and had plenty of fun there.
Traveling with family is an adventure.
I also have that ideology that when kids come a lot will change in the family, and at a point it will affect the bond a husband have for his wife if is not strong, but what you did, I just remembered that kids are just the image of their parent.
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