It is enormously useful spend time reflecting and processing our experiences. But if we are only doing it to be able to label ourselves "victim" and have a scapegoat for why we are the way we are, I think it becomes harmful. The value of insight into a reason isn't in the ability to shift blame or for something to hide behind. It is the opportunity to acknowledge what has happened, the impact it has had, but most importantly, what needs to happen going forward.
Great paragraph right here!
So many people seem to only look into their past to find regrets, to find something to be angry about, or to find a reason to be a victim. "This is why I'm not more successful in life" and so on. Like anger in general, all this is really just a waste of time. You might get someone to feel sorry for you or you might get some free handouts, but playing on others' sympathy isn't really a very fulfilling life and ultimately isn't going to get you very far. Far better to learn from our past, use that knowledge to untangle things that need untangled, and move forward.
Yet, we have created a victim society that rewards the biggest loser, not the most inspiring, or most positively impactful. People trend toward faking their victimhood for attention and monetization.