I know a lot of people; family and close friends - the smallest group - and others are acquaintances, work colleagues, the outer-circle of my friends group, clients and others are people I have met in passing or had casual encounters with over the years. There'd be many thousands of people I've met and interacted with in some way, too many to count.
Of those most have been decent, pleasant, friendly or simply neutral and acceptable; many have also been a pleasure to interact with, those are the inner circle of people in my world...some however, have been the complete opposite for whatever reason. I think it's quite normal to come across people we like or don't like or are indifferent to, meaning that we neither like or dislike them, though.
Execrable people
Often we need to interact with many different types of people and because we're all different we're not always going to get along despite the effort we may put into it and, because Hive is a community of many different people all collected together, the same goes on the blockchain. I think it's ok not to get along or relate to and feel comfortable with people (real world of blockchain), it's a choice, a feeling and is a person's right; one must be true to oneself after all.
In the real world we simply move on and get on with our lives. Those execrable people we encounter tend to drift away; sometimes this is not possible though, a work environment for instance. Generally though, we walk away (literally or figuratively) and that person can't touch us, taint us with their vitriol, mistreatment, negativity or whatever element they brought forth that we didn't respond well to. Again, it's a person's right to choose that path, but what I note here on Hive is that many execrable people linger.
They hang around like a bad smell, possibly in a bid to find personal relevance, a feeling of self-worth, validation or even a feeling of power or control. They poke at others, taunt them in a bid to gain a reaction which, I guess, they feel puts them in a position of power or control and they often band together in the process. Sort of like how a pile of rank, repugnant, steaming shit that just oozed out of the asshole of a pig sort of slops onto itself and piles up sticking together and releasing its malodourous, disgusting smell into the air.
They're easy to spot though...you can find them in comments and posts, usually blaming others for the demise of their account, levelling accusations and spewing filthy vitriol onto others in a bid to sway others' thoughts or draw like-minded execrable people to their cause.
Best ignored
I'm a strong person, of character and will I mean and in other ways I guess also, and one of my greatest strengths is the ability to draw a line beneath a person and move forward independently of them and it's something I've done in the real world, and here on Hive also, with great effect. It takes discipline, but that's something I've never lacked so those vitriolic and execrable people become nothing more than, well just nothing at all.
The interesting thing is that, quite often, they themselves cannot move forward in the same way and I am pretty certain that their continued maliciousness, the actions they take, the time invested in baleful and venomous activities, has the opposite effect to that which they feel it is having...especially on their state of mental health which is often quite plain to see throughout the comments they leave.
I wonder about the state of mental health of a person who does the same thing expecting different results or one who willfully oozes out of the anal sphincter of a pig (figuratively speaking) to slop into a pile of shit which ends up becomes their existence, persona and reality.
What are your thoughts on the matter in respect of Hive or in the real world? How do you handle vitriolic people who focus on you, are you one of those execrable people I mention, have you come across someone like this in your lifetime and how did you deal with it? Feel free to comment if you'd like.
Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp
[Original and AI free]
Image(s) in this post are my own
Sounds like you're describing why a lot of people have decided that social media is objectively bad with no redeeming qualities.
Does anyone admit to being an execrable person in the moment? I'm pretty sure they are all convinced they're fully justified in their actions or believe they're "telling it like it is" or "just saying what everyone is thinking" etc (the more common excuses I've heard for why it's okay for them to act like that and also simultaneously fly off the handle if someone does the literal exact same thing to do them or their friends).
Yep exactly, but I think it's not just social media, it's there regardless and social media just provides a more convenient forum and a way to spread the vitriol more rapidly.
Your last paragraph is spot on. Those vitriol vomiters are often doing exactly what they perceive others to be doing to them, and yet they think it's legit for them and not for the others. As Bozz and Coloneljethro say in comments here...it's often deserved and brough on by their own actions.
That's my view on social media as well. And in some cases they're probably attempting to feel powerful "telling it like it is" because there is no immediate danger of getting punched in the face.
Indeed...but everyone is locatable. 😈🔨
LoL XD so not worth the effort though.
I used to let them diminish me, make me feel small, until fairly recently. The most judgemental people of all are young mothers. I am so much happier now that I don't have to prove myself as a mother. Now I can tell those same people that I will not ve who they want me to be. It's liberating.
That's the way to do it for sure because no matter what it's a losing battle to try and make them change their mind, thoughts or impressions, a fools errand. We can change our own though and what you did is tantamount to that line-drawing thing I mentioned above. It's the high road, closing a door and so on...Liberating and the best way to have a better existence.
I am not a parent but I have had friends say the same thing about young mothers...entitlement or ignorance? I'm not sure.
Thanks for commenting, I appreciate it when you do.
We always called'em oxygen thieves, in that they were a waste of perfectly good oxygen. My knee jerk reaction it to go after them but I've come to understand oftentimes ignoring them is the best policy. When I was a clinic escort we got to deal with all sorts of execrable types but we had a policy of non-engagement and it was quite entertaining to watch them get all bent out of shape because they could not get a response out of us no matter what they did or said. I've also worked in kitchens/restaurants where that just doesn't fly, there it sometimes takes more kinetic measures to settle things down.
Yep, we have the same term here, quite fitting too.
I'm the same as you, retribution is easily gained and I rarely hold remorse for delivering it, but ignoring the situation knowing they'll (usually) ramp up and tee off (which effects their mental health and overall lives is retribution in itself. You mention the enjoyable aspect of watching them get bent out of shape so you know exactly what I'm getting at. For most of them being ignored is the worst thing possible.
You speak of kinetic measures and I am all for it in the right situation, I've delivered such asshole-mitigation techniques in the past to great effect...I guess one must make the decision based on the situation at hand, then act accordingly.
As @bozz said, these people's reactions rarely help their cause but, as always, it's never their own fault.
Lol, I think you and I have some stories to swap if we ever get together out away from the people and electronics. Yeah, kinetic measures have a rather limited use case but sometimes nothing else will do. Think I will be stealing your ' asshole-mitigation' phrasing 😎
Ha, bozz ain't wrong. They can't help it, all they know how to do is Dig That Hole.
Oh yeah, I reckon so too, loads of good stories and many laughs as well as many WTF bro's as well. I think a wise man knows when to walk and when to get kinetic and understands how to tell the situations apart and how to work through the decision quickly. And sure, borrow/steal my phrase, it's one that applies universally.
Great track, thanks for dropping it.
I've just written about this. How liberating it is, to take control of how we react to those who provoke us. Its a choice, just like it is for them to be a twat.
Took me a while to get here, but I'm so glad I have. Just letting go their remarks slide off of me, as I walk away. Eat my dust I say.
With regards to Hive, we'll I just don't interact, I've learnt not too. There are still around, lingering bad smell indeed xxxx
P.s Still dying to know what you're up to this weekend xxx
It's incredible how keenly some of these characters cling to their behaviours, even after being ignored and interesting how they ramp up each time in a bud for a reaction and all the while their mental health declines. They're best left to their own devices and eventually, well, their actions will often come home to roost if you get my drift, they'll reap what they've sown.
I'll be doing what I'm doing today, been an awesome weekend so far, looking forward to some more. 🤔😉
I hope you're having a good one.
Having faced different types of people, I can say that most of them always want to be right and want to feel like they have won an argument. When they have different ideas/perspectives, they don't want to consider what the other is saying, but want the other party to change their mind. If they got proven wrong, they take it personally and try to get back in any way they can, no matter how petty. I used to try to reason with them before, and I would get frustrated when they try to twist everything just to make it work to their narrative. But now, I soon as I know they're like that, I just end the conversation and walk away. No point wasting my time with them.
I like what you say here, as soon as you identify the personality type and find it unacceptable you walk away. Best thing to do!
Life is too short to spend any of it fussing with assholes like that.
I agree. I've already tried multiple times, and I always ended up frustrated. I've learned my lesson.
Sometimes they need the hammer dropped and I'm happy to do it, but mostly ignoring them is the best way, it tends to infuriate them.
Hi Galen, you are right, in the hive there is everything. Even, someone like me, who I think I am quite correct in my comments, has suffered an attack on his account for a while, I think a couple of months, for reasons that are not relevant. The attack stopped, I think because he ignored it, but it left me with a question in my head: What priorities does someone have in life to dedicate himself to attack someone he doesn't know? What values does such a person have? There I leave the questions. Happy weekend
Yes, I think I know what case you're talking about and with that individual no logic applies.
I think I advised you to simply ignore it and you did (if it's the situation I am thinking of) and that pretty much denies that individual any leverage.
It's the same principle that applies in real life.
It is the case that you imagine and I applied the advice, although for me the questions remain open. Best regards
Wow.. Who are these people? o.O
Fortunately my experience on Hive been relatively pleasant. Maybe I am just a nobody and hence not a target. I guess whether is it offline or online, we all have to handle difficult people in life, and each of us have our own methods. For me, I am not confrontational so I prefer to ignore/distant myself.
You're best not knowing who they are as it'll make your experiences much better, but they're there to be found if you wish. Better that you just move on and do your own thing though, they are not people you'd want to know.
Ah that's true!
I have learned to identify and distance myself from toxic people. I have tried to converse with them, seeking common ground, but when their behavior becomes intolerable, I simply let them go.
It is not healthy to be constantly dealing with people who only seek to do harm, undermining our mental health. If someone doesn't make a sincere effort to recognize and change their toxic behavior, it's best to walk away as soon as possible.
In the past, I was not always the most mature person. Inexperience and bad days led me to be dismissive or indifferent toward other people. However, over time I have managed to change this attitude. I have learned to be more prudent and to control my emotions, recognizing that there are times when I need to be more understanding and empathetic.
It sounds like you've had experiences, learned from them and found better ways to move forward which, as you say, is maturity and wisdom. Many people do not find it so well don't for having the honesty enough to know change was required and ownership enough to make the changes.
I've meet a lot of different types of people everyday since I work in a computer shop. But I also meet a lot of different types of people online when I entered blogging and live streaming, I can say that people that are ungrateful are everywhere. I honestly don't like those kind of people.
I agree, there's a lot of ungrateful and negative people, it's best to block them out I guess right?
Yes that's what I did to them.I tried to get rid of those negative people
In the real world, there are many kinds of people who definitely don't match our way of thinking or mindset. I can't force everyone to be the same as me, for example regarding empathy. Not everyone can empathize. People tend to do whatever they want without thinking about other people, what position other people would be in if they were treated unkindly. and I'm an introvert, so I have a personality that doesn't get along with other people easily or is passive, but once I get to know each other closely, I feel comfortable and talk a lot. Everyone is different, dealing with people is also different. If there is something they don't like, of course we can't do anything, we might just accept it and well, never mind...
In the Hive community it also turns out to be almost the same as the real world. At first I didn't know and didn't really understand the world of Hive. And still, because I am new here, so I dont really see the drama going on, honestly. I was introduced by my friend and I joined, and he said that Hive was also a world full of "drama". Actually, I was little bit surprised and didnt know what was that mean. truly. I don't even know at all. So, basically I just do what is good and enjoy what I do and without harming other people :)
Thank you @galenkp I always like your sharing post :)
That's a good strategy, do what is good, or whatever your concept of good is, and move on. Whatever happens because of it will happen and you'll have to accept it. It's simple really.
I think a lot of the people on Hive who have issues bring it upon themselves. There is a point where they have a choice to react a certain way and more often than not they choose the other way. Which leads to even more issues.
It's often the reaction that causes the issues but unfortunately those types often make the wrong choices out of...pride, hubris, ego? All of them probably. Once down that path they still have the ability to back out but it rarely happens...They spew vitriol, dox people (both have happened to me) and then seem surprised when I downvote every single thing they put on the blockchain, and will forever. All avoidable of course, but they don't seem to have it in them.
I totally agree with you. Some of the reactions I see are ridiculous.
What strong words there will always be people like that either because envy for them get us what another if and prefer to use other methods such as mockery and hints to try to hide the light of others in my daily life I have come across several people like that and the best medicine is to ignore them.
Envy and jealousy is one of the biggest factors in this scenario, well said.
I think you have a good way of dealing with it, ignoring them and it, and also personally succeeding and excelling is another good response. 😁
I hope you're well, and you have a good weekend.
I am kind of similar attitude of drawing a line with someone with whom going gets tough...our understanding thought, idea never match up. But as I shifted to my village, I found a strange behaviour. People who used to avoid other person, never cut out from them. They may say, bad words behind them, but when they need any help.and support they are the ones who take a step to approach them. I begining i face a tough situation but now gradually adapting...
People's behaviours can often be quite surprising to others, I guess people are always going to do what suits them and I'm ok with that, as long as they accept the fact that others will do the same. They tend to forget that last part.
These set of people you described are all around us. We see them on a daily basis. If you succumb to their tricks, you'll end up in a really bad emotional state.
It's quite a good attribute you've got there though- the ability to ignore and move on. Not so many people possess this attribute — I'm still working on mine though!
Some attributes take time and experience to develop, but once gained are often there to stay.
My friend and I have this mantra we always chant when someone decides to come at us unprovoked especially on a personal level. We'd say if you go low, we go lower and there are no rules because we hit below the belt. But then it gets exhausting rolling in the mud with people who want to play pigs. While sometimes I just delete their response and walk away, it depends on my mood because other times I fight back. People should learn how to respect other people's opinions and not come at them on a personal level.
That's one way to go and if it works for you then keep at it; I prefer not to sink the the levels of these disgusting pigs myself though, for the reasons I have mentioned in this post, it's not worth affecting one's own mental health and general feelings of wellbeing just to have the last say or gain a feeling of power. That's my opinion though, if your way works for you then do that. It's a choice as I have said in the post.
I don't think I like my approach just as much reason I said it gets exhausting rolling in the mud with pigs. Ignoring is the best bet and I hope to gather as much self control to be able to walk away all the time and not indulge.
Yep, rolling around with pigs is probably not all that enjoyable...best to fly with the eagles.
Exactly! really nice way to put it 🙂
I always presume it's mental health thing. Like those men who blame their ex partners for their whole lives falling apart like they had nothing to do with it, and hold onto that bitterness for YEARS. It never them and ALWAYS something else that's to blame. Doesn't matter how much you try to help or suggest otherwise.
The blame game...like you say, it's never their fault but, actually it usually is. Partly the sense of entitlement I guess, which is accelerating at an alarming rate.
I think Hive is a reflection of real life and as such there are such people all the time and everywhere.
I have met people like that, but more in real life than here. Anyway, I just walk away.
Those people are toxic, but the toxic comes back, so they will get back what they give. It is better to ignore and walk away so that the energy does not affect us.
Keep the toxic far away. They will get their own medicine, that's how life works. I prefer people who are cheerful, with a good vibe, responsible, disciplined, consistent and who are as similar to me as possible.
The negative.... out!
They often get what they give indeed, and often the hammer falls a lot harder on them in return, certainly when I'm delivering the blows anyway. 🔨
The energy multiplies when it comes back... watch out for the return, it's stronger!
It works for the good and for the bad, but they ignore it and then complain about what happens to them and blame it on others...
Hit them!!!
I disagree...free speech means people have the right and ability to say what they want to including people who choose to use their freedom to speak to vomit vitriol. What I think they forget, or neglect, is that their actions will circle back on them and will mostly have a negative effect rather than the effect they delude themselves they receive.
Thanks for commenting.
Freedom of speech is one thing, to say whatever they wants is completely different, to insult another person with those comments, the one on whose text that person leaves a comment.
I have (in addition to Hive), several interesting people that I follow... What kind of comments they get... Very uncivilized, and in terms of weight ripe for prison or maybe even an insane asylum 😄
I personally have never left comments with negative connotations, I try not to enter into conflicts, and when I meet a person in life or on social networks who has a totally different opinion than mine, unless it is necessary for me to have some points of contact with that person, I immediately cut off any form of further communication and spending time together. If I have to be with such a person in a group, team, community, I lock my lip and keep quiet, in order to avoid a fight...
You have a solid strategy and ethos and it's the best way to go. Not everyone is as enlightened as you though, and the world is full of many types of people including assholes.