Not so long ago I moved from one house to another in a bid to work around a few scenarios that were evolving; life has a way of fucking with us changing and we have to change with it, keep up, or sometimes fight against it as well I suppose, and I've always been agile enough to do so...almost always. Anyway, we moved house and got settled in, turned it from simple bricks and mortar, a house, into a home, and are happy and content there; the move was positive and our home is comfortable, well-appointed, and accommodates our needs perfectly. And yet we're thinking of moving.
My partner and I are decisive thinkers meaning we are easily able to stand back and evaluate things, weigh and measure them, and are comfortable in making decisions based on what we determine is the right course of action; we've been wrong of course but the solution has always been more evaluation and more decisions and actions. Some of our decisions have been momentous and some not so and moving house leans towards the momentous as its a fairly big undertaking.
Besides the obvious cost and logistical elements there's a few complexities however we tend to strip those away and make the process and end result about one thing which is, the need to feel at home no matter where we live.
I know people move house for different reasons but feel confident in saying that most people want to feel at home in their chosen location and it's that which we also want; we find it in many different ways; some of these things may be specific or unique to us and others common to many others and I thought I'd ask you for your opinion.
What makes you feel at home in the place you live and why? Have you ever felt detached and out of place, an outsider, in the place you live and if so why? What elements and non-negotiable inclusions do you need to make your house a home and what could you live without? Feel free to comment if you'd like.
Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp
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Image(s) in this post are my own
Hope the move goes smoothly if you decide to move :)
I've moved a few times and have a pretty good system including a checklist of all the places where my address needs to be changed to the new address...it's a surprisingly long list.
More than the fingers on one hand? D:
All three hands and my one foot!
That's a lot of digits!
So many.
I think the biggest thing to make me feel at home in a place, is the amount of freedom that I have. I have stayed with friends and relatives, and the feeling of being restricted really affects me. The second big one is the level of comfort. If there are things to fix after moving, or if things like the pillow or bed don't feel comfortable, then that doesn't make me feel at home.
Having a place to one's own, or oneself and partner, certainly brings freedom and that can give a person a nice feeling. I have that myself, it's why I'm so selective with who comes here, and it's one of the things I like. I also don't like neighbours to be too close.
I guess "feeling at home" means a couple of important things.
All of these things bring me comfort and security in my sleeping space, and the habit of the place helps too.
When I moved into this house I felt like a fish out of water, so it took me a while to adjust to the new environment, I guess it was a normal process, and when I realized that it was a better place than the old one everything flowed very well.
If I were to leave again, which I certainly will, there will be a few things I will inevitably take with me, my pet, and some old family photos, I don't own much but I consider it important not to part with some objects that represent my roots.
In fact, I look at my house and my inherited things right now, and I realise that leaving them behind will hurt a lot, furniture and books that have been in my life for a very long time and will inevitably be left behind...not because of their monetary value, but because of their great sentimental value.
I can leave everything but the lives that go with me.
You can't take your current neighbourhood with you if and when you move, so what things in your new neighbourhood might you look for as essential?
My new neighbourhood should be a quiet place, that's all.
We Cubans have a particularity, we socialise a lot, that is, it is normal to ask the neighbour for a bit of salt and other things if it is the case, there are people who live like this .... not because they are stingy, but it would be impossible for me to live in a place with too much of that kind of atmosphere, including excessive noise, I just want a quiet and nice place, that's what I mean by neighbourhood .....😅
That would help me a lot...
🤷
Not meaning to sound cliche, but it is family for me. We have moved around so much over the years that the physical location is just a place to live. It is who we are living with that makes it important.
I think I am starting to feel that way, or have felt that way in the current house we are in. My oldest was already moved out and on his own when we moved into it. The youngest was getting close at the time we moved. He will be moving out very soon. It will be just me and the wife soon. Makes me feel like the house has become useless sometimes.
I must have my wife and we must always be able to welcome friends and family. I could live without the mortgage.
That makes sense, family; I'd be surprised if you didn't mention it.
I don't have kids so won't get to experience the empty nest anxiety some parents do however I guess what's great is to see them progress, get out on their own and succeed and to welcome them back from time to time. I think that'd be a rewarding feeling.
Oh yes, my oldest is doing great and it has been so rewarding to watch him grow and experience the ups and downs of adulting. With the youngest, I am suree it will be the same feeling. It is more about the wife and I learning to live by ourselves again. It is a rewarding feeling like you said, but weird feeling.
My mom often says that home is where the heart is ... after moving so much, I think that sums it up very well.
For me, having my loved ones is what makes it a home, if they are there, even under a bridge it would be home. In our previous house, I had that feeling of being out of place, I think that working in another part of the city and not spending much time at home made nothing in the neighborhood make me feel that way.
My ideal house must have my books, especially the medical ones, without them I feel like I'm not myself 😅
There's many factors that make a house a home for each of us, some similar and some differ but I think it's important to know what those things are and to make sure they're present...life is too short not to feel at home in one's place if residence.
I hope you're well.
My family members and my room makes me feel home when I'm staying in my home.I felt detached when I'm far away the home where i was born.My family members and my birth area makes my house a home.
Family is important for sure.
My wife and I have never really been ones to interact with our neighbors too much. I know some communities have that, but I think a lot of it has to do with them having kids and the kids playing together. We recently got new neighbors and I get the impression they want that sort of thing with our area, but it's mostly older folks and they just don't think that way. Anyway, my wife and I have been taking a kit downsizing our house for a while now. The market sucks though and as much as we would like a condo, most of those don't have a place to park our trailer or the HOA frowns upon stuff like that.
Parking extra vehicles and caravans is a huge factor for those who have them and dictates what house might be suitable; we have loads of storage sites for them here, I assume you do also, so that's an option but not a necessarily cheap one. Is that something you'd consider?
Yeah we have places like that, but then you have to go get it every time you want to load it and things like that. I think people do it, but it's a lot more work and shuffling. Usually the homeowners associations only let you park it outside your house for like a night before they start fining you.
Many people believe that a home is just a house, but what would a home be if people without pets without love it would be a sad and desolate place it would be just a place to pass through .
My pets have always been of such great importance and are a large part of what has made the house my home; my partner also of course.
Thanks for commenting.
A House you say? Reminds of one of my favorite tv series.
We only moved once. to the house where we live now. I remember that after moving for a while I could not find my Witcher books. Now I am glad that we live in a house. And I would not want to live in the flat ever again. The fact that we have great neighbors also helps. Also it is nice to have enough space for a dog should we ever decide to get one again.
Neighbours can make all the difference, especially if they're bad ones. I've known people to move just to get away from them. Do you think you'd get a dog at any stage?
I don't know. Losing Lota was hard. Also as she got older her health care became quite expensive. But the main reason why we are not getting a new dog is because it is very sad to say goodbye.
Yeah, I thought you might say something like that...you're not the only one who feels that way; losing pets is incredibly difficult.
Hi Galen, moving home is always a challenge. I am not going to wish you luck because I am certain that it is a very well thought out decision, weighing all the pros and cons. I can only congratulate you on this new step in life.
About the question, I think that to feel at home I only need good company, some books and music.
A hug
You say three things that I agree with when it comes to making a house a home; I think I'd not want to be without any of those three.
I suppose that for some people these three things are not enough and for others it is everything (or almost everything). I think the years give a good perspective of what is essential and what is superfluous.
I am very glad you have moved and so many things have been sorted out.
In my case, whenever I moved, which was not many times, I managed to make every place my home. The main thing for me are my cats, because they are my children. The second thing is little things, like my paintings, some family things and to arrange the place to my liking, if I am well internally any place can be my home, my home is me.
One's own art work, crafts, photos and other persona creations are something most would find comforting I think.
It is and they are part of me, in this case I painted them when I arrived here and they accompany me.
I'm not sure if the picture you posted is your house, but if it is... wow! 🙂 I'm also not sure who will clean it 😂 To answer your question, I've been living in another country for about 10 years now. It was really hard at first because I didn't speak the language. German is difficult, so I never felt truly connected. I love my apartment, and I'm very grateful that many of my co-workers are from Slovenia, which gives me some comfort. I wouldn't have found my passion anywhere else because being alone here gave me time to think about what I want to do with my life. So, I'm glad I moved, but I can't wait to move back.
I think family, or friends/colleagues in your case, have a huge impact on the feel of an abode; the right ones can make it awesome and the wrong ones...well, not so awesome. It's good you have some of the good variety and that you're feeling at home.
Thanks for commenting.
I've never really thought about that. It's a tough question for me to answer, probably because I'm still quite young and have travelled a lot.
That's a fair point. I've travelled around the world a lot, all over Australia too, and I have some distinct requirements that make me feel at home which is important for someone who's been around and away from home so much.
Also...I'm still very young too.
Ok, maybe very is somewhat of an embellishment.
Ok, maybe young could be seen as a little generous.
🫣😆
Hmm I have stayed in the same country all my life, and for me, home means the sense of familiarity, be it the people, the amenities, the food, the language, etc.
I wonder if you'll ever branch out.
Hmm my family is pretty much rooted here.. So it's probably unlikely at least in short to medium term.
Oh, you're moving? Sorry for being late to this post but I've had a long day.
Protection and love.
Yes, because I didn't have enough of the two things I mentioned before and my space was often disrespected. I actually felt that I didn't have a space for myself. I had to leave as soon as I saw that it was unsustainable.
Non-negotiable... peace and quiet (when required). Joy, collaboration, tolerance and communication.
I could live in a small room with everything reduced to its minimum, but I must have a small place with plants, outdoors.
When I live alone, I have to do all this stuff myself hahaha
It's terrible when one's peace and quiet, the tranquility and comfort one feels in their home is disturbed; it seems like you had a bad situation but rectified it.
I'm the same, but a cabin in the woods is mote my style.
Home is where you and your loved ones can come at any time of the day, and feel safe, at the end of the day.
Even though I am grateful for the roof over our heads and the loved ones that surround us, right now the apartment we are living in doesn't feel like our own. As if there's something missing. We've changed two different locations in the past 4 years, having to move according to the landlords and their orders; there's no freedom there, they do as they wish. Even though I consider it our home because my family is here, the truth is that there's no freedom when renting. We did have our own apartment, a place where both my younger brothers and I grew up. We lived there for over two decades. But due to financial troubles during COVID, we had to sell it.
Now, I just hope to have another place like that apartment, one that I consider a safe haven, a place where my loved ones, and hopefully our future generation can call their own.
I think it's often difficult to feel settled in a property that is rented as there's always the threat of having to move out hanging over one's head making it possibly difficult to settle into it.
I say that is the reason, uncertainty. Yet, I hope that we will soon have a place that we call our own. We are working towards it together.
My grandparents make me feel at home. With them life is joyous, happy and full of surprises. Just sit with them and they have so many stories to tell. I can't imagine calling my house- 'home' without them : )
That's nice...have you thought about some alternatives for when they're gone?
Umm, I don't know. They are not leaving anytime soon. They are just in their 70s.
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