Not everyone knows how to give, not everyone can give, and not everyone wants to give. Accepting it is hard, but real.
It is often difficult for us to understand that people will not always react as we would. Not everyone has the ability or willingness to help, and disappointment comes when we expect the same from each other.
When someone comes into my life with this problem, the common question, I think for everyone, is: "Why, if I was there to help them, they are not here for me?"I just went through this almost 5 months ago when my husband suffered a heart attack. A lot of people walked away when I asked for help.
The answer is not always that they don't care, sometimes it's simpler: they can't, they don't know or it's not born to them.
We cannot expect the world to react as each of us would. It is not our task to change others, but to decide to whom we give our help and what energy we put in doing so.
No one prepares you for what it means to leave everything behind. Fear, uncertainty and guilt don't come in the “fresh start” package. It's normal to feel that way.
But what is not normal is to swallow all that in silence, pretend as if nothing were happening and pretend that we adapt just because "that's how it plays". That wears us down. Purpose may be born out of necessity, but what really matters is how we decide to turn circumstances into an opportunity to help others and ourselves.
I am definitely on a project and to undertake without fear, I know that it is totally possible. It is essential to turn down the volume to that voice in my head that tells me that I am not going to succeed, that I am going to fail, and that it will not go well.
I keep on giving, giving the best of me because it is born of me and not because I expect the same exact thing in return, it's like breaking the chain of favors with others. And if what I receive does not fill me, does not meet my expectations, pretending that they do always fills me with disappointment. So I will always have the option to choose better where and with whom? Invest my energy.
I don't expect others to give me what I give them. One of the most important things that now with my maturity I understand with total clarity, is that my heart is different and that the energy I put in to make others feel good, in helping them to be in a position to do good, that is a high-level energy and that if I have it, "IT doesn't mean that others should have it".
Undoubtedly, there must be reciprocity in the links, and the fact of giving, helping is done from generosity, sensitivity and sufficient empathy, by the way, very important emotional elements.
Janitze 🌹
Separator made with Canva by @janitzearratia
Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera eighties Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited by me with Canva
Translation with |DeepL
To not go crazy for the reasons you mention, I retracted from seeing "giving" as something directly transactional, but as indirectly rewarding. An expat around here once told me that he gave a loan to a young guy, with a side phrase: "[...] I probably won't get it back, but that's okay, I never give anything with the expectation of getting it back."
That struck me deeply, and I kept it in mind with everything that I did for others. And still, I always find that everything I give, comes back to me multiplied, in unexpected ways. I hope that the same is happening or will happen to you :-)
I share what you comment 🌹. It is true, every moment is a gift when we choose to give, then, what comes for us comes back full of possibilities and gratitude.